Finals footy just went nuclear.

🏉 Hawthorn stormed into Adelaide, punted the minor premiers out of September, and left the Crows with nothing but tram tickets back to Glenelg. Gunston wound back the clock, Newcombe went full caffeine-fuelled maniac, and Sicily gave Taylor Walker the longest night of his career.

🏉 Up north, the Lions brushed aside the Suns in a QClash semi that turned ugly real quick. Dunkley tackled like his life depended on it, McCluggage owned the midfield, and Brisbane are strutting into prelim week like they’ve already booked their Grand Final seats.

🏉 Now it’s Cats v Hawks and Pies v Lions at the ‘G – 180,000 fans, four powerhouse clubs, and about a billion Twitter meltdowns incoming.

🏉 Plus, Ash’s Brownlow crystal ball, Rising Star tips, and just enough smart-arse commentary to keep you awake on the drive home.

🏉 Prelim weekend, baby.

🏉 Let’s ride!

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🚨 EMERGENCY POD 🚨

🦁 Well, well, well… the “most anticipated QClash ever” came with all the hype of a Marvel movie trailer — and ended like a dodgy meat pie at the Gabba. Tasted good for the first bite, then you realised you’d been conned.

🦁 Gold Coast came out swinging with two quick goals, but Brisbane just smiled, tied it up, and then flicked the finals switch.

🦁 From there the Lions pulled the Suns apart like a $2 shop deckchair in a summer storm.

🦁 By three-quarter time, Suns fans were praying for a miracle. Instead, they got the slow, painful realisation that September still belongs to the Lions.

🦁 Harris Andrews turned into a human brick wall, Kai Lohmann’s haircut stole the show, and Cam Rayner was breaking tackles like shopping centre kiosk salespeople.

🦁 Meanwhile, Suns fans were left Googling “how to cancel a membership.”

🦁 Lions march into a prelim against Collingwood, and yes, I’ve already started sharpening the Magpie jokes.

🎧 Hit play for the full Lowdown: laughs, footy, and just the right amount of maroon, blue and gold smugness.

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🦁 Ash is back, and it’s time to talk Round 5 W footy the only way we know how — with way too much Lions bias and just enough nonsense to keep you laughing.

🦁 If you’re heading to the ground or parked on the couch with snacks, we’ve got all the when, where, and how-to-watch covered. We’ll run through the ins and outs (who’s back and who got dropped like a hot rock at a day spa), and what it all means for the Lions’ chances this week.

🏉 Plus — because Ash can’t help himself — we go on a little side quest about team names and whether the AFLW best and fairest medal needs a rebrand. Spoiler: it does!

🏉 And to wrap it up? Ash’s tips for every game. They’re bold, they’re biased, and they’re more reliable than your mate cooking the snags on a Saturday arvo.

🦁 Buckle up, Lions fans — Round 5 is here, and we’re coming in hot 🔥

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