Because "just get a lawyer" is not a strategy.

Finding the right divorce attorney can make or break your case — and your sanity. In this episode, Rachel breaks down exactly what to look for in a divorce lawyer, what questions to ask in a consultation, and the red flags that should send you walking. She also covers the options most people don't know exist: collaborative divorce, mediation, limited scope representation, and nonprofits like the Lilac Tree in Evanston, IL that help women navigate the process even when traditional legal fees feel impossible.

IN THIS EPISODE

• Why Rachel hired three lawyers before finding the right one — and what she learned from each

• How to treat a legal consultation like a job interview (because it is)

• The single best question to ask a prospective attorney

• Red flags: the attorney who guarantees outcomes, the one who only agrees with you, and the one who picks fights that don't matter

• The full spectrum of divorce options — uncontested, collaborative, and mediation explained clearly

• "My sanity had a dollar value" — why Rachel made financial concessions to move faster, and how to decide what's right for you

• Legal aid, law school clinics, limited scope representation, and the Lilac Tree — real options when cost is a barrier

Save this episode and come back to it when you're ready to start making calls. If you're looking for a nonprofit that helps women navigate the divorce process, search for organizations similar to the Lilac Tree in your state, or contact your State Bar Association for referrals.

RESOURCES & LINKS

breaking-upward.com — full show notes, resources, and community

@breaking_upward_divorce on Instagram | @breakingupward on TikTok

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence:

National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

If this episode helped you, please leave a review and share it with a friend who needs it. Reviews help other women going through divorce find this show.

The conversation delves into the impact of divorce on children, emphasizing the importance of age-appropriate communication, professional support, and the quality of how parents handle the divorce. It highlights the need for honesty and effective communication, as well as the significance of professional support and therapy for children during and after divorce. The overall theme revolves around the well-being of children during the process of divorce and the crucial role of parents in ensuring a positive outcome for their children.

Takeaways

• Children are affected by sustained parental conflict, not divorce itself
• Honesty and age-appropriate communication are crucial for children during divorce
• Professional support and therapy for children during and after divorce are important
• The quality of how parents handle divorce matters more than the fact of divorce

Chapters

• 00:00 The Impact of Divorce on Children
• 15:13 Professional Support and Therapy for Children

breaking-upward.com • @breaking_upward_divorce on Instagram • @breakingupward on TikTok

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence: National DV Hotline 1-800-799-7233 • Text START to 88788 • thehotline.org

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing here is legal, financial, or therapeutic advice. Please work with licensed professionals for your specific situation.

She had two years of joint tax returns in a box in their closet. She had signed every one of them. She could not have told you what was in them.

She was a professional with a graduate degree. And she did not know what was in her own financial life.

This episode is about that — and what to do about it.

What we cover:

Financial clarity isn't betrayal. It's self-preservation. If you don't know what's in your marriage financially, you cannot make intelligent decisions about your own life. This episode walks you through exactly what to gather, what it means, and how to protect yourself before, during, and after the process.

We get into marital property — what it actually means that assets acquired during a marriage are generally considered joint property, even if your name is nowhere on the account. We talk credit, the types of divorce most people don't know exist, the financial mistakes that will damage your case, and what to do if you can't afford a traditional attorney.

The woman who is most protected in a divorce is the woman who was prepared. This episode is about becoming that woman.

Chapters:

00:00 — The importance of financial clarity: why not knowing is not the same as failing

06:05 — Understanding marital property: what's actually on the table, including assets you've never thought about

17:12 — Mistakes to avoid: what not to do before you file, and why it matters

Resources mentioned:

Legal aid — search your state bar association's website for free or reduced-cost family law services in your area

Law school clinics — supervised law students handle real family law cases at no cost

Limited scope representation — hire an attorney for specific pieces only, not the whole case

Breaking Upward Triage Checklist — free, no account needed: app.breaking-upward.com

Breaking Upward free workbook — the full financial document checklist and 30-day action guide: link in bio

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence: National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 • Text START to 88788 • thehotline.org

Breaking Upward is not legal, financial, or therapeutic advice. Please work with licensed professionals for your specific situation. I'm Rachel Newhouse. This is Breaking Upward. You are not breaking down. You are breaking upward.

“Am I ready?” is the wrong question. And it’s the question that keeps more women stuck than almost anything else.

In this episode, Rachel reframes what readiness actually is: not a feeling that arrives, not a checklist you finish, and definitely not the absence of fear. She walks through the five questions worth actually asking yourself, why couples therapy is often the wrong move at this stage, and what it really means when the cost of staying finally outweighs the cost of going.

If you’ve been waiting to feel certain before you make a move, this episode is going to challenge that. Courage and readiness are not the same thing. And readiness, real readiness, is freeing when you arrive there.

Breaking Upward is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for legal, financial, or mental health advice. Please consult a qualified professional for your specific situation.

If you or someone you know is in an unsafe situation: National Domestic Violence Hotline — call or text 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. Available 24/7 at thehotline.org.

Learn more and connect: breaking-upward.com

Let's talk divorce. This is not a show about empowerment. It's not about toxic positivity or pretending everything happens for a reason. It's about the part nobody talks about - the messy, logistically overwhelming, emotionally nonlinear middle of divorce. What documents do you need? How do you talk to your kids? How do you figure out who you are when the life you planned is over?

I'm Rachel Newhouse. I went through this at 29, scared and financially confused, and the show I needed didn't exist. So I built it.

Breaking Upward is for women navigating divorce - or seriously considering it - who are done shrinking and ready for honest, practical, real conversation about what comes next.

This is where we begin. Remember, you're breaking up, not breaking down.

Episode 1: Why I Left

Leaving a marriage is one of the hardest decisions a person can make. But for a lot of women, the hardest part isn't the leaving - it's the years before it, quietly wondering if what they're experiencing is real, or if they're the problem.

In this first episode, Rachel talks about the decision to leave: what it actually looks and feels like from the inside, the difference between a marriage that's hard and one that's genuinely damaging, and why so many women wait so long - not because they're weak, but because they're trying to be sure.

If you've ever questioned your own memory of what's happening in your home, if you've ever felt smaller coming out of a conversation than you did going in, if you've ever wondered whether the version of your future that excites you is allowed to not include him - this episode is for you.

This is where Breaking Upward begins.