A divorce decree is a legally binding document. But when your ex decides not to follow it, the burden of enforcement falls on you — and the system moves slowly. If you're dealing with missed payments, ignored custody schedules, or an ex who treats your agreement as optional, this episode is for you.

Nurse midwife and forensic documentation expert Rachel Newhouse walks through exactly what to do, how to build a violation record that holds up in court, and how to protect yourself without letting it consume you.

IN THIS EPISODE

• The reality of post-divorce compliance — and what to do when it breaks down

• Why documentation is your most powerful post-decree tool, and the forensic standard for doing it right

• Contempt of court, modification, and parenting coordinators: the three tools that actually exist for enforcement

• How to build a violation log that a judge will find credible (not just a pile of screenshots)

• The dollar jar: Rachel's system for acknowledging violations without letting them live in your body

• What to do when the violation is real but the remedy is slow

• Nurse's Note: Forensic documentation from a SANE nurse's perspective — why contemporaneous records are more credible than recalled memory, and exactly how to build yours

Understanding exactly what your decree says — and what it means — is the first step to enforcing it. The Breaking Upward Clause Translator breaks down legal language into plain English, privately and at no cost.

Try it free at app.breaking-upward.com

RESOURCES & LINKS

Breaking Upward AI Tool (including Clause Translator): app.breaking-upward.com

Website: breaking-upward.com

Instagram: @breaking_upward_divorce

TikTok: @breakingupward

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing here is legal, financial, or therapeutic advice. Please work with licensed professionals for your specific situation. I'm Rachel Newhouse. This is Breaking Upward. You are not breaking down. You are breaking upward.

Some friendships don't survive a divorce. Not because people are bad — but because your life is changing in ways that not everyone can follow. If you've lost a friendship during your divorce, or found yourself surrounded by people who don't know what to say, this episode is for you.

Nurse midwife Rachel Newhouse talks about why some friendships end, why the people who show up are often not who you expected, and what the research says about social support as a clinical protective factor during one of the hardest periods of your life.

IN THIS EPISODE

• The books and chapters framework: why not everyone gets to read every chapter — and why that's not a betrayal

• The real reasons some friendships don't survive divorce: your marriage mirror, couple friendships, and people who simply don't know how

• Why your divorce makes some people in your life uncomfortable about their own marriages

• The clinical truth about social isolation during divorce and its measurable effects on health

• The people who showed up when Rachel didn't expect it — and what that taught her

• How to grieve a friendship while you're grieving a marriage

• Nurse's Note: Social support is a documented medical protective factor. The research on isolation, health, and why letting people in right now matters more than it feels like it does

You don't have to navigate this alone. The Breaking Upward tool helps you understand your legal and financial situation so you can focus your energy on the people and decisions that actually matter.

Try it free at app.breaking-upward.com

RESOURCES & LINKS

Breaking Upward AI Tool: app.breaking-upward.com

Website: breaking-upward.com

Instagram: @breaking_upward_divorce

TikTok: @breakingupward

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing here is legal, financial, or therapeutic advice. Please work with licensed professionals for your specific situation. I'm Rachel Newhouse. This is Breaking Upward. You are not breaking down. You are breaking upward.

After a long marriage — especially a difficult one — you can lose track of who you actually are. If you've come out of your divorce not quite knowing what you like, what you want, or who you are when nobody's watching, this episode is for you.

Nurse midwife Rachel Newhouse talks about rebuilding your identity after divorce, why the blank slate is both terrifying and a gift, and what salsa Tuesdays taught her about the science of starting over.

IN THIS EPISODE

• The identity question nobody asks when you're going through a divorce: who did you become inside this marriage, and who are you actually?

• Why the blank slate is terrifying — and why having preferences again feels selfish when it isn't

• How small, repeated experiences of dismissal and accommodation change how the brain processes your own needs over time

• Neuroplasticity and new beginnings: why salsa Tuesdays and V-necks are not trivial — they're how identity rebuilds

• How to start figuring out who you are without sitting down with a journal and deep questions

• What to do when the people around you are unsettled by who you're becoming

• Nurse's Note: The neuroscience of identity erosion in diminishing relationships — and what actually rebuilds it

Figuring out your next step doesn't have to feel overwhelming. The Breaking Upward tool helps you assess where you are and understand your options — privately, at your own pace, with nothing stored.

Try it free at app.breaking-upward.com

RESOURCES & LINKS

Breaking Upward AI Tool: app.breaking-upward.com

Website: breaking-upward.com

Instagram: @breaking_upward_divorce

TikTok: @breakingupward

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing here is legal, financial, or therapeutic advice. Please work with licensed professionals for your specific situation. I'm Rachel Newhouse. This is Breaking Upward. You are not breaking down. You are breaking upward.