This is the hardest episode Rachel has recorded — because she's not done yet. In the finale of the first arc of Breaking Upward, she talks about forgiveness from inside the process, not from the other side of it.

No five steps. No closing affirmation. Just what forgiveness actually is, what it isn't, and why it matters not for them — but for you. Nurse midwife Rachel Newhouse on forgiving your ex, forgiving yourself, and what the trauma-informed approach to forgiveness says that nobody else is saying.

IN THIS EPISODE

• What forgiveness is not — and why the version most of us were taught requires us to make things smaller than they were

• Forgiving yourself: the specific, particular guilt of what your child experienced

• The thing Rachel didn't expect — and why it answered every doubt she ever had about her decision

• Forgiving your ex: not for them, for you — and the physiological case for why chronic anger is expensive

• Forgiving the people who didn't show up: the friends, the family members, the mentors who said cruel things

• Why forgiveness is a direction, not a destination — and what it means to keep walking toward it when you're not there yet

• Nurse's Note: Trauma-informed care doesn't ask survivors to forgive. What it asks instead — and the clinical case for why putting it down is an act of self-preservation

If this series has helped you navigate any part of this process, the Breaking Upward tool is the next step. It was built to take the guesswork out of the legal and financial pieces so you have more space for everything else.

Try it free at app.breaking-upward.com

RESOURCES & LINKS

Breaking Upward AI Tool: app.breaking-upward.com

Website: breaking-upward.com

Instagram: @breaking_upward_divorce

TikTok: @breakingupward

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | Text START to 88788 | thehotline.org

DISCLAIMER

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing here is legal, financial, or therapeutic advice. Please work with licensed professionals for your specific situation. I'm Rachel Newhouse. This is Breaking Upward. You are not breaking down. You are breaking upward.