Send us Fan Mail

What if the expectation for women to shave their body hair was never about hygiene, beauty, or personal preference but about shame, capitalism, and whose gaze we've been taught to perform for? In this episode, Kari explores the cultural history of women's body hair removal through three lenses: as a woman, as someone living with chronic illness, and as a therapist. From the razor industry's manufactured insecurities to the pedophilia connection nobody wants to talk about, this episode invites you to ask when did you first shave, and did anyone ever ask if you wanted to?

In episode 16, Kari unpacks one of the most unexamined obligations placed on women the expectation to remove their body hair, and traces it back to where it actually started: a 1915 Gillette marketing campaign.

What started for Kari as a practical decision rooted in chronic illness became an unexpected journey into feminist self-examination, couples therapy conversations, and some of the most uncomfortable cultural questions we rarely let ourselves sit with.

In this episode we cover:

• The 20th century origins of women's body hair removal and how shame was literally sold to us
• The pedophilia connection: whose gaze does hairlessness actually serve, and what does it say about how we've conditioned attraction?
• Debunking the hygiene myth and why the same logic is never applied to men
• The double standard that men's body hair is normalized and even sexualized while women are called lazy, dirty, or radical for the same thing
• The chronic illness lens: when shaving isn't a preference but an energy expenditure your body simply can't afford
• Body positivity vs. body neutrality and why neutrality is often the more accessible and therapeutic goal
• Values clarification from ACT therapy, whose values are you living by, and did you ever actually choose them?
• What the Epstein files reveal about the culture we've built around youth, vulnerability, and who gets protected

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Killing Us Softly documentary series https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Us_Softly
• Sexism and Sensibility by Joanne Finkelstein https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/book/sexism-sensibility

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In this Small Thoughts, Big Feelings mini, Kari reflects on noise sensitivity. From vertigo triggered by sound to the sudden anger that comes with repeating yourself or speaking louder, this episode explores how sensory overload shows up in the body.

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, I explain why I don’t offer free consultation calls and why that decision is grounded in ethics, safety, and respect for therapeutic labor. I unpack the myth of the “quick 15-minute call,” why it almost always turns into unpaid therapy adjacent work, and the very real risks of engaging in clinical conversations without informed consent.

I talk openly about mandated reporting concerns, client safety, sexual harassment in the therapy room, and why structure and intake paperwork aren’t cold or rigid; they’re protective. I also challenge the idea that something being “standard practice” makes it ethical, especially in a profession where unpaid emotional labor (particularly from women) is deeply normalized.

This episode is a candid look at boundaries, burnout, transparency, chronic illness, and why the intake session is the consultation just done ethically, thoroughly, and with consent.

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of Both Sides of the Couch, Kari reflects on a small, ordinary moment that sparked a much bigger realization about imbalance in relationships. Through the lens of a therapist, a chronically ill person, and a friend who often gives more than she receives, she explores what it feels like to be emotionally capable yet quietly unsupported.

Kari unpacks how emotional competence is frequently mistaken for self-sufficiency, how chronic illness causes support to fade over time, and how helpers often become invisible in their own relationships. Drawing from personal experiences with grief, friendship, and long-term illness, she names a pattern many people feel but struggle to articulate: being strong doesn’t mean not needing care.

This episode is for chronically ill listeners who feel forgotten, therapists and helpers who are quietly overgiving, and well-intentioned friends who care deeply but aren’t sure how to show up. With compassion rather than blame, Kari offers validation, insight, and gentle reframes for building more attuned, sustainable relationships.

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In this mini episode, Kari shares a funny moment about an HSA statement that turns into a reflection on invisible labor, chronic illness, and why some parts of life are hard to explain even to the people who love us.

For information on health savings accounts, check out these links:

https://www.healthcare.gov/glossary/health-savings-account-hsa/

https://www.healthcare.gov/high-deductible-health-plan/

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In Episode 13, Kari explores a deeply familiar tension for people living with chronic illness: being told “don’t overdo it.” While often well-intentioned, Kari explains how this phrase can feel controlling, dismissive, and painful, especially for people who already live with constant limitation and loss.

This episode is not about ignoring consequences or denying the reality of chronic illness. Instead, Kari centers choice and autonomy, emphasizing that chronically ill adults still have the right to decide how they use their bodies, even when those choices come with a cost. She challenges the idea that risk assessment belongs only to healthcare providers or loved ones, pointing out that everyone, ill or not, makes daily decisions that balance effort, desire, and consequence.

Kari distinguishes between denial and intentional choice. Denial looks like ignoring limits and warning signs; intentional choice means understanding the risks, planning for them, and deciding that an experience, connection, or moment of normalcy is worth the recovery that may follow. She shares personal examples, painting a room, tending a garden, attending events, that highlight how quality of life can sometimes matter more than symptom minimization.

The episode also explores the emotional layers beneath choosing to “overdo it”: anger at the unfairness of illness, grief for lost capacity, and even moments of rebellion as a way of reclaiming humanity. Kari normalizes these feelings while encouraging safe, thoughtful decision-making rather than high-risk behavior.

Practical strategies are woven throughout, including planning rest before and after activities, adjusting hydration or medication when appropriate, modifying events, accepting help without shame, and avoiding stacking multiple high-cost activities. Kari also offers scripts for responding to people who repeatedly warn or monitor, helping listeners protect their autonomy without escalating conflict.

The episode closes with reassurance and permission: wanting a full life does not make someone reckless. Choosing joy is not denial; it’s human. Sometimes rest is the right choice. Sometimes the moment is. Both are allowed.

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In Episode 12, Kari explores the therapy of nature and how time outdoors can support people living with chronic illness, pain, fatigue, and nervous system dysregulation. Kari begins the episode by reflecting on a familiar moment in nature, using sensory details to model what it means to slow down and simply be present outdoors.

Kari reflects on how nature offers something rare in modern life: non-demanding, predictable sensory input. She explains why this can be especially regulating for chronically ill bodies and for people experiencing anxiety, depression, or emotional overwhelm. Nature, she says, doesn’t ask us to push, improve, or prove anything, it gives permission to exist as we are.

The episode explores how nature supports the nervous system, including parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) activation, reduced stress hormones through visual exposure to greenery, and regulation of breathing and heart rate through natural sounds. Kari connects these effects to chronic pain, fatigue, migraines, and autonomic dysfunction, emphasizing that regulation—not exertion—is often what the body needs most.

Kari reframes accessibility by expanding the definition of “nature time.” She reminds listeners that nature doesn’t have to mean hiking or physical activity. It can be a porch, houseplants, sunlight, bird sounds, or simply opening a window during a migraine. She emphasizes that passive exposure still counts and encourages listeners to let go of doing nature “the right way.”

The episode also touches on the emotional healing that nature can offer, particularly during grief, sadness, anger, or frustration. Kari reflects on how nature helps people feel smaller in a comforting way, offering perspective, continuity, and a reminder that life moves in cycles without urgency.

She shares her own journey of redefining her relationship with nature as chronic illness changed her physical capacity. Through sitting still, nature photography, and watercolor painting inspired by the outdoors, Kari discovered new ways to connect that felt even more therapeutic than the high-exertion activities she once loved.

Kari closes with a gentle reminder: nature doesn’t cure chronic illness, but it can make living with it more bearable. Healing isn’t always forward motion, sometimes it’s settling, resting, and allowing yourself to be held by the world around you.

Episode links:

https://rosaliehaizlett.com/

https://rosaliehaizlett.com/collections/books

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In Episode 11, Kari explores a major but surprisingly under discussed scientific breakthrough: the creation of a cellular atlas of the human ovary, recognized as one of the most important discoveries of 2024. Kari explains why this research is long overdue, given the historic underfunding and neglect of women’s health and the health of people with ovaries.

She begins by naming an important distinction, while this research is often framed as “women’s health,” not everyone with ovaries identifies as a woman. Throughout the episode, Kari intentionally uses inclusive language to reflect the full range of people impacted by ovarian biology, including trans men, nonbinary, and intersex people.

Kari breaks down the science in accessible terms, describing the ovary atlas as a high-resolution, cell-by-cell map created using advanced imaging and molecular sequencing. She compares it to “Google Maps for the ovary,” allowing researchers to finally see how ovarian cells develop, communicate, age, and respond to hormones, something that was previously impossible due to the complexity and variability of ovarian cycles.

She outlines why this research matters so deeply: improved understanding of fertility and unexplained infertility, major implications for menopause research, and potential breakthroughs in diagnosing and treating conditions like endometriosis and PCOS. Kari also highlights how this atlas may lead to more targeted, preventative, and personalized hormonal care across the lifespan from puberty through menopause.

Drawing from both her professional and personal experience, Kari connects this research to chronic illness, explaining how hormonal shifts affect fatigue, pain, autonomic function, migraines, autoimmune flares, and dysautonomia. She shares her own delayed diagnosis of endometriosis and reflects on how earlier scientific understanding could have changed her treatment and quality of life.

The episode also addresses the emotional impact of medical dismissal and gaslighting, naming how generations of people with ovaries have been told their symptoms were “normal,” “too emotional,” or not worth investigating. Kari emphasizes that scientific validation restores dignity and may prevent future generations from experiencing the same harm.

She closes with practical encouragement: trust your lived experience, ask informed questions, seek second opinions, and advocate fiercely. Kari frames the ovary atlas as a turning point. This blueprint will shape women’s health and ovarian research for decades and reminds listeners that while the body has always held wisdom, science is finally starting to listen.

Research Referenced in This Episode:
Cellular Atlas of the Human Ovary Using Morphologically Guided Spatial Transcriptomics and Single-Cell Sequencing
Jones AS et al. (2024)
https://www.ginecologiarobotica.com.ar/assets/documentos/CANCER-OVARIO-sciadv-adm7506.pdf

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.