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What if the expectation for women to shave their body hair was never about hygiene, beauty, or personal preference but about shame, capitalism, and whose gaze we've been taught to perform for? In this episode, Kari explores the cultural history of women's body hair removal through three lenses: as a woman, as someone living with chronic illness, and as a therapist. From the razor industry's manufactured insecurities to the pedophilia connection nobody wants to talk about, this episode invites you to ask when did you first shave, and did anyone ever ask if you wanted to?

In episode 16, Kari unpacks one of the most unexamined obligations placed on women the expectation to remove their body hair, and traces it back to where it actually started: a 1915 Gillette marketing campaign.

What started for Kari as a practical decision rooted in chronic illness became an unexpected journey into feminist self-examination, couples therapy conversations, and some of the most uncomfortable cultural questions we rarely let ourselves sit with.

In this episode we cover:

• The 20th century origins of women's body hair removal and how shame was literally sold to us
• The pedophilia connection: whose gaze does hairlessness actually serve, and what does it say about how we've conditioned attraction?
• Debunking the hygiene myth and why the same logic is never applied to men
• The double standard that men's body hair is normalized and even sexualized while women are called lazy, dirty, or radical for the same thing
• The chronic illness lens: when shaving isn't a preference but an energy expenditure your body simply can't afford
• Body positivity vs. body neutrality and why neutrality is often the more accessible and therapeutic goal
• Values clarification from ACT therapy, whose values are you living by, and did you ever actually choose them?
• What the Epstein files reveal about the culture we've built around youth, vulnerability, and who gets protected

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Killing Us Softly documentary series https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Us_Softly
• Sexism and Sensibility by Joanne Finkelstein https://www.joannfinkelstein.com/book/sexism-sensibility

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Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

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I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

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In this Small Thoughts, Big Feelings mini, Kari reflects on noise sensitivity. From vertigo triggered by sound to the sudden anger that comes with repeating yourself or speaking louder, this episode explores how sensory overload shows up in the body.

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, I explain why I don’t offer free consultation calls and why that decision is grounded in ethics, safety, and respect for therapeutic labor. I unpack the myth of the “quick 15-minute call,” why it almost always turns into unpaid therapy adjacent work, and the very real risks of engaging in clinical conversations without informed consent.

I talk openly about mandated reporting concerns, client safety, sexual harassment in the therapy room, and why structure and intake paperwork aren’t cold or rigid; they’re protective. I also challenge the idea that something being “standard practice” makes it ethical, especially in a profession where unpaid emotional labor (particularly from women) is deeply normalized.

This episode is a candid look at boundaries, burnout, transparency, chronic illness, and why the intake session is the consultation just done ethically, thoroughly, and with consent.

Support the show

Thanks for listening to Both Sides of the Couch!
If something you heard today resonated, share the episode or leave a review, it helps others find the show.

Read more at bothsidesofthecouch.substack.com or karirusnakcounseling.com/bothsidesofthecouch

Support the show: buymeacoffee.com/karirusnak
I currently run off donations only, I pledge to only work with advertisers I can 100% support.