Rehma grew up being told her dark skin tone made her less — less worthy of color, of fashion, of choosing how she showed up in the world.

In this episode she sits with Kirti and traces the long road from that to self-contentment: the comparisons, the silence she learned, and the makeover that turned out to be about far more than clothes.

This is a conversation about skin tone bias, confidence, modesty and style, and what it takes to finally look in the mirror and mean it when you say you look good. Part one of two.

Would you like to find out more on how to pause the pressure of what's expected of you and find a fresh way to speak your mind?

Connect with us : https://link.kirtana168.com/podcast

About Rehma Mirza

Rehma Mirza is a Sustainable Style Consultant and the Founder of The Self-Investment System™, a purpose-led framework that integrates self-awareness, confidence, styling awareness, and mental wellbeing. She is recognised as a pioneer in the GCC for linking mental wellbeing with styling awareness through structured workshops and educational programmes for both youth and adults.She is also a contributor to ISO 45003 (Psychological Health & Safety at Work) recognition within a government organisation in Dubai. Her work focuses on empowering individuals to build self-trust, emotional intelligence, and intentional self-presentation through culturally respectful, accessible tools that support long-term wellbeing, confidence, and future readiness.

www.stylebyrehma.com, stylebyrehma (Instagram), Rehma Mirza (Linkedin)

Time

01:16 — How Rehma got here, and why

01:21 — Growing up the "different" one: gender bias in an orthodox home

02:27 — When color comparison entered the family

04:00 — Learning that pleasing others was the only path

04:53 — "You don't fit that role because of your color"

06:42 — Falling into depression before she had a word for it

09:54 — Labelled difficult, sensitive, too much

10:17 — Kirti's side: comparison cuts from the other direction too

12:09 — The marriage market and the cost of comparison

14:58 — Married at 21, still dressed by everyone but herself

15:52 — "Are you really happy?" — the question her husband kept asking

17:23 — Mirrors, breaking points and self-harm

22:25 — Pregnancy, melanin and the cruelty of people close to her

24:22 — Normalizing the negativity until it stops sounding like harm

26:40 — The pivot: Dubai, depression, and a gift she didn't want

27:45 — Two hours of weeping in a stylist's chair

28:40 — "We need to get your head fixed first"

29:34 — The eye-opener: every color she'd worn was wrong

31:32 — Turning her own makeover into a way to help other women

33:57 — Inner alignment and outer presence

34:53 — Happiness vs. self-contentment: the word that changed things

36:39 — Kirti's own story: yoga, weight, perimenopause and lost confidence

38:57 — Styling for a body that keeps changing

39:24 — The question that carries into part two

Kirti breaks down the pressure to look and act a certain way, sharing stories about shame, family, and everyday criticism.

Keywords

1. How does cultural pressure affect women's confidence?

2. Speaking up when feeling judged for appearance

3. Emotional impact of family comments about weight

4. Kirti Drop Your Noise styling and well-being episode

5. Handling criticism about appearance at work

6. Tips for dressing across different cultures

7. Women's voices in multicultural workplaces

8. Indian family expectations for women

9. Why do clothes affect self-esteem?

10. Stories about hiding due to shame

11. Real talk about skin color and beauty standards

12. Finding identity while living abroad

13. Multicultural challenges for professional women

14. How do casual comments affect self-worth?

15. Effects of cultural beauty pressure on speaking up

Tags
communication
women at work
multicultural
family pressure
self-esteem
speaking up
appearance
shame
styling
Kirti

Timestamped chapters

• 00:00 Why talk about styling and well-being?

• 00:45 Clearing out old photos in Curacao

• 01:19 First memories of college friendship

• 02:04 When appearance shaped opportunity

• 02:45 Family criticism and pressure

• 03:35 Childhood shame and secret eating

• 04:11 Aunties, skin color, and judgment

• 05:05 Male allies and encouraging confidence

• 05:51 Switching from suits to yoga clothes

• 07:01 Second-guessing sharing discomfort

• 07:10 The lasting influence of outside comments

• 08:23 Why styling still matters

• 09:36 Finding style in different countries

• 10:17 Clothing, confidence, and well-being

• 11:21 Closing thoughts

How much of your voice are you leaving out online? Annie shares stories of working with women on visibility, the messy reality of putting yourself out there, and the things we’re worried about but rarely say out loud. Kirti and Annie get honest: comparison, confidence, what actually works on LinkedIn (hint: it’s not just posting daily), and how being a little bit more yourself might be the most valuable thing you can do—in business and beyond.

Get our latest releases and behind the scene thoughts: https://kirtana168.substack.com

About Annie:

Annie Meikle is a communications strategist with 17 years of experience helping brandsand senior leaders articulate their narrative with clarity and confidence. She began hercareer at the start of the region’s social media era, where she helped establish theSocial@Ogilvy practice at Memac Ogilvy. As Head of Content at OgilvyOne, she led workfor global brands including Sprite, IBM, SAP, Volkswagen, Kotex and Sony Mobile, shapingcontent designed for real audience engagement in the Middle East.In 2016, she co-founded The Social Shop by Aurora, a Dubai-based social media agencyfocused on corporate and consumer communications in sectors such as technology,aviation, retail, and health. Over time, the agency developed a niche in delivering high-impact social strategies to B2B companies.In 2023, Annie launched Meikle Communications to focus on strategic thought leadershipfor corporates and senior executives — particularly on LinkedIn — alongside employeeadvocacy and social media enablement programs. Her work blends narrativedevelopment, executive positioning, and practical execution frameworks that help leaderscommunicate with influence and purpose.

You've been told to leave your feelings at the door. But what if that's exactly what's breaking your team?

Lillian is a change management specialist with 35 years of experience working across the Netherlands and the Caribbean. In this conversation, we get into why emotions keep getting treated as a problem to solve when they're actually the most useful information in the room.

We talk about why change keeps failing even when the methodology is perfect, what happens when leaders outsource their instincts to AI, and the one question Lillian asks junior managers that always gets a laugh and then opens everything up.

This is a conversation about efficiency, trust, and what it actually costs to stay human at work.

Drop Your Noise is shortlisted for Podcast of the Year, Women in Business Awards 2025. Hosted by Kirti Daryanani, founder of Kirtana168 and creator of the PAU...SE. methodology

00:00 Are you outsourcing your social intelligence to AI?01:17 Lillian introduces herself, 35 years of change before it had a name04:03 The speed problem: AI, efficiency, and why faster isn't always better06:23 Why emotions got left out of change management11:10 Resistance isn't a problem. It's information.12:01 The seating story: how one small blindside derailed an entire team22:00 The AI in the meeting room, when a leader consulted ChatGPT instead of asking the person in front of them29:29 When methodology replaces gut instinct33:45 Why high-performing leaders have been conditioned to see emotion as inefficiency39:53 Emotion is just information. That's it.47:38 Change fatigue is real and the antidote isn't mindfulness51:07 Lillian's practical moves: how to talk about emotions without saying the word54:11 Professional maturity and what it means to not take things personally57:16 Nobody can lead change they haven't accepted in themselves first1:02:27 The unwritten rules: the one question that tells you everything about where emotion is being suppressed

We're living in an era of bite-sized information and big opinions. And most of us have no idea how little we're actually working with.

In this solo episode, Kirti shares something she's been sitting with - the cost of reacting before we understand.

Travelling between Dubai, Europe and the Caribbean, she's been in the middle of conversations where assumptions have replaced research, and quick takes have replaced real understanding.

This one is about what it means to tame confusion.

She talks about what happens when a community built on many cultures teaches you to listen first. Why directness matters. Why incomplete information is one of the quietest forms of harm we do to each other. And why she herself is stepping back from technology — not as a strategy, but as a necessity.

Plus — a preview of what's coming with Lillian on leadership, change, and what it means to stay human when everything around you is disrupting faster than you can process. especially times like in geopolitcal tension in the Gulf region.

Plus, get an exclusive introduction to the new Pause Phrases practice, a powerful tool for transforming inner conflict (like anger and guilt) into respectful, loving interactions.

Kirti sits down with Roshanak,an international lawyer with a vibrant multicultural story to talk about the real power of humanity, humor, and humility in negotiations and everyday life.

From growing up between Iran and Italy, to building trust in Dubai’s diverse business scene, Roshanak shares how her family’s values shaped her approach to fear, belonging, and professional success.

Expect real talk on how laughter helps break down barriers, why dropping your ego matters in high-pressure deals, and what it actually means to show up as yourself in a global world. Warm, candid, and practical.

Keep in the loop: https://link.kirtana168.com/podcast

Roshanak has lived a life shaped by movement, strong influences and high expectations, learning early on how to navigate different environments with curiosity and independence. Her experiences across countries and cultures have given her a wide lens on people, relationships and what really matters.Alongside a demanding professional life, she has always been drawn to art, culture and creative expression — interests that keep her grounded and offer a different way of understanding the world. These influences sit just as comfortably with her love for structure and problem-solving as they do with imagination and humour.She is married to Francesco, whose Italian dolce vita approach brings warmth and lightness into everyday life. Today, she balances intensity with perspective, ambition with enjoyment, and seriousness with an ability to laugh — at life, and often at herself.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-roshanak-bassiri-gharb-46471a15

When panic and uncertainty rise,especially during regional conflict ( Dubai, UAE) or family pressure, most people default to anxiety, guilt, and hyper-alert routines.

Kirti found relief by using a “pause phrase”: “Lighten those damn fears.” Instead of masking fear with forced positivity, she leaned into humor, clear requests with family, and practical mindfulness.

This shifted her mindset from reacting to navigating. Real composure comes from loosening the grip, accepting care, and working through the moment. Simple pauses and a sense of humor offer steadier ground.

What happens when fear, resentment, and inner noise flood your attempts to sell yourself and your work. Helen shares her journey from hating sales to realizing that shifting your thinking changes your results, and Kirti reflects on how easy it is to tie your identity to your business, losing sight of your value while trying to please everyone. Together, they unpack why women often avoid "salesy" behaviors, how consultative selling builds trust, and the power of pausing to rethink what value really means.

Deep Dive into Visibility: Https://link.kirtana168.com/connect

About Helen:

Helen Tebay is a sales coach and founder of The Sales Lady. She helps service based business owners simplify sales, create consistency with their income, and make more money without it feeling heavy, awkward or pushy. Helen’s work is all about clarity, structure and doing less but better so selling feels good and supports the way you actually want to run your business. She has supported over 1,000 business owners to stop overcomplicating sales, build confidence in their offers, and create more predictable revenue without burning themselves out or becoming someone they are not.

LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/helen-tebay-586947127Website - https://helentebay.podia.com/