In this episode, Angela opens Season 3 by exploring one of the most common and most costly patterns in close relationships: listening to defend rather than listening to understand.

Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy, Angela unpacks why defensiveness isn't the enemy but rather a nervous system signal, what happens when protection replaces connection, and how learning to truly hear your partner can transform conflict into closeness, one pause at a time.

Relationship Reset Challenge

The Rapaport Practice Round

Set a timer for five minutes and try one full Rapaport round: one person speaks, one person only listens and reflects.

When the speaker says "yes, you got it," switch. No rebuttals. No fixing. Just: do you understand me? Notice what shifts when someone feels truly heard, even once.

Resources Mentioned

• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

In this episode, Angela explores one of the most quietly transformative skills in any relationship: the repair attempt. Angela unpacks what repair actually looks like beyond the perfect apology — and why the ability to come back to each other after conflict matters far more than whether conflict happens at all. Whether repair feels natural or terrifyingly vulnerable in your relationship, this episode offers real language, warm insight, and a practical reset to help you find your way back to each other.

Relationship Reset Challenge

One honest repair this week

This week's challenge invites you to try one genuine repair attempt, no drama, no perfectly timed speech required. Just a small, intentional move toward your partner.

Example: "I was short with you earlier, and I'm sorry, can we start over?"

No perfection required, just intention.

Resources Mentioned

• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

In this episode, Angela explores one of the most quietly powerful — and quietly neglected — forces in long-term relationships: fondness and admiration. Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy, Angela unpacks why expressed admiration is foundational to relational health, what happens when it goes underground, and how small, specific, consistent acts of saying what you genuinely value in your partner can transform the emotional climate of your relationship — one moment at a time.

Relationship Reset Challenge

The Admiration Audit

Sit quietly for five minutes and identify three things you genuinely admire about your partner — not what they do, but who they are. Their character, their spirit, the way they move through the world. Then find a moment this week to say one of them out loud. Specific, genuine, unprompted. Just because it's true. And if you're feeling brave — say all three.

Resources Mentioned

• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh