In this episode, Angela explores how just five intentional hours a week can transform your relationship. Drawing from the Gottman Method and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), she shares how to build daily rituals of connection that strengthen trust, friendship, and emotional safety. Discover how small, consistent habits can rekindle closeness — no grand gestures required.

Relationship Reset Challenge

Create your own 5-Hour Love Plan this week. Ask each other:

• What’s one ritual we can add in the morning?
• What does a comforting reunion look like for us?
• How can we bring back a little fun or play?
• When can we schedule a weekly check-in?

Remember — it’s not about perfection; it’s about presence.

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman – The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
• Dr. Sue Johnson – Hold Me Tight (EFT framework for emotional connection)
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend! Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Presented by: Angela Kingma

Edited by: Tayte McHugh

Season 1: Foundations of Connection

Title: Spotting the Tiny Moments that Build Love

Bids for connection are the tiny invitations we send our partner every day — a glance, a sigh, a question, a playful comment. In this episode, Angela explains how recognizing and responding to those small moments can transform the emotional climate of a relationship.

Drawing from Gottman Method research and Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll learn how to identify bids, understand the attachment needs beneath them, and turn toward your partner in ways that build lasting safety, trust, and laughter.

What You’ll Learn

• What “bids for connection” actually are and why they matter.
• The three ways partners respond: turn toward, turn away, or turn against.
• How EFT reveals the deeper emotional needs hidden inside everyday bids.
• Why missed bids create distance — and how to repair them quickly.
• Real-life, funny story: “The Great Laundry Debate” and how a couple turned frustration into playfulness.
• Simple rituals and daily habits that strengthen emotional safety.

Key Takeaways

• Love lives in the small moments. Turning toward a bid — even with a smile or a nod — says “I see you.”
• Emotions are attachment signals. Under every bid is a need: “Can I count on you?”
• Secure connection isn’t perfection. It’s noticing, repairing, and reaching back again.
• Humour helps. Shared laughter can become a ritual of connection all by itself.

Relationship Reset Challenge

This week, catch two bids a day and respond. Pause before defaulting to distraction, and intentionally turn toward instead. Before bed, reflect together:

“When did we connect today?” “When did we miss each other’s bids?”

Tiny awareness → big change.

Try This at Home

1. Create a short ritual of connection — a morning hug, an end-of-day check-in, or a nightly “good things” share.
2. Replace “What?” with “Tell me more.”
3. If you miss a bid, say, “I think I missed you earlier—can we try again?”

Favorite Quote

“Turning toward doesn’t require perfect timing or long talks—it just requires presence.” — Angela Kingma

Resources Mentioned

• John & Julie Gottman, The Relationship Cure — definitive guide to bids for connection.
• Dr. Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight — Emotion-Focused Therapy for couples.
• Arms Open Counselling resources and blog posts: www.armsopencounselling.com

Couple Confession Highlight

“The Great Laundry Debate” — a playful, real-life example of how one couple turned a Saturday-morning chore war into a laughter-filled ritual that brought them closer. Proof that turning toward each other is more important than folding towels the ‘right’ way.

Connect with Us

If today’s episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or friend who could use a little reminder that love grows in tiny moments. Follow @ArmsOpenCounselling on Instagram and Facebook for more relationship wisdom, behind-the-scenes therapy insights, and heart-centered tips.

Next Episode

Episode 4 – The Magic 5 Hours a Week: How five intentional hours can radically improve your relationship — and how to find them without adding stress to your week.

Presented by Angela Kingma

Edited by Tayte McHugh

Season 1: Foundations of Connection

Title: The Power of Tiny Rituals

When it comes to keeping love alive, most people imagine big romantic gestures: surprise trips, candlelit dinners, or elaborate date nights. But research shows it’s the tiny rituals—the everyday, repeated moments of connection—that keep relationships strong.

In this episode, Angela explores why small rituals matter more than grand gestures, how they build trust, intimacy, and belonging, and how couples can create their own meaningful rituals. Drawing from both Gottman Method research and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), you’ll learn how to weave love into the fabric of daily life—without adding stress or another “to-do.”

Relationship Reset

Choose one tiny ritual to create or strengthen this week. It could be a goodbye kiss, a daily text, or asking: “What was the best part of your day?” Stick with it for 7 days and notice how it changes your connection.

Arms Open Counselling

At Arms Open Counselling, we help couples strengthen their relationships using proven approaches like the Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Therapy. If you’d like support creating stronger connections in your own relationship, we’re here for you.

Serving small-town communities with heart-centred mental health care.

Visit Arms Open Counselling

Presented by Angela Kingma

Edited by Tayte McHugh