Self-care has been sold to us as bubble baths and face masks. Buy this product. Light this candle. Treat yourself.

And I'm not here to tell you those things don't matter. They do. Self-soothing is real and valid and necessary.

But here's what nobody talks about: Self-care is more than just the soothing part. If you're only doing the things that feel good in the moment but avoiding the hard stuff—the boundaries, the difficult conversations, the uncomfortable choices—you're only doing half of self-care.

In this episode, we explore what real self-care actually looks like, why it's been commodified, and what it takes to care for yourself in a sustainable way.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why self-soothing IS valid self-care (it's tending to yourself, your temple, your mental health)

- The difference between self-care and self-soothing (they work together, not against each other)

- Why you need BOTH: soothing practices that help you regulate AND hard choices that protect your well-being

- Real soothing self-care examples: gaming, comfort shows, pampering routines, retail therapy, hobbies

- Hard self-care examples: setting boundaries, having difficult conversations, saying no, protecting your time

- How soothing practices and hard actions work together in balance

- Why the soothing stops working when your life is out of alignment

- The commodification of self-care and why it's been reduced to products

- Individual self-care vs. systemic self-care (what you can control vs. what requires collective action)

- How to make self-care sustainable (not just occasional treats but regular practices)

- Why self-care isn't selfish—it's necessary for showing up authentically

- Creating systems that support your well-being: protected hours, boundaries you've pre-decided, phone on DND

- The realization that soothing activities alone weren't fixing deeper issues

This isn't about choosing between bubble baths and boundaries. It's about understanding you need both—the practices that regulate your nervous system AND the choices that create a life that doesn't constantly deplete you.

If you've been buying self-care products hoping they'll fix everything, or pushing yourself through "hard" self-care without any softness—this episode will help you find the balance.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

How do you practice self-care? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

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If this episode helped you rethink self-care, please leave a rating and review. It helps others discover a more balanced approach to caring for themselves.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses self-care, burnout, boundaries, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

I spent years saying yes when I meant no. Overextending myself. Resenting people for things I never told them bothered me.

That's not kindness. That's self-abandonment.

In this episode, we get real about boundaries. What they actually are (and what they're not), why they feel impossible to set, and how to communicate them clearly without drowning in guilt.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- What boundaries actually are: limits you set to protect your well-being, energy, time, or values

- The crucial difference between boundaries, walls, and demands (boundaries = what YOU will do, not what you demand others do)

- Why boundaries are about YOUR behavior, not controlling other people

- How to recognize the difference: "I won't engage when being yelled at" (boundary) vs. "Stop yelling" (demand)

- Why saying no feels selfish when you were taught your needs come second

- The cost of not setting boundaries: resentment, burnout, self-betrayal, inauthentic relationships

- Why boundaries don't make you difficult—they make you honest

- How to communicate boundaries clearly using direct language

- Examples of time, emotional, physical, material, and values boundaries

- What to do when people push back, guilt-trip, or test your boundaries

- The difference between someone who unintentionally crosses a boundary vs. someone who intentionally violates it

- How to enforce boundaries (what happens when boundaries are crossed)

- Why the people who truly value you will adjust when you set boundaries

- Real examples: morning/night unavailability, time limits on availability, no gossip engagement

- Personal stories about learning boundaries cost more than you could afford to give

This isn't about keeping people out or being difficult. It's about protecting what allows you to stay in—stay present, stay authentic, stay sustainable in your relationships.

If you've been saying yes when you mean no, overextending yourself, or feeling resentful in your relationships this episode will help you understand what boundaries are and how to start setting them.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Learning to set boundaries? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand boundaries, please leave a rating and review. It helps others struggling with boundaries find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses relationship patterns, people-pleasing, emotional exhaustion, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

There was a period in my life when I felt like I was going through the motions. Not sad, not happy, not anxious—just flat. Like there was a wall between me and everything I was supposed to feel.

If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore emotional numbness; What it is, why your nervous system shuts down, the difference between numbness and depression, and how to come back to feeling without overwhelming yourself.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- What emotional numbness actually is (a form of dissociation and protection)

- How dissociation creates distance between you and overwhelming experience

- The spectrum of dissociation: mild (zoning out), moderate (numbness), severe (depersonalization/derealization)

- Why your nervous system learned to go offline when emotions felt too dangerous

- The difference between emotional numbness and clinical depression (they overlap but aren't the same)

- Why numbness isn't apathy—you do care, your system is protecting you from feeling

- The danger of staying numb long-term (what you lose when you can't feel)

- How to come back to feeling safely without flooding yourself:

1. Start with physical sensations (temperature, texture, movement)

2. Work with mild emotions first (not jumping straight to grief or rage)

3. Use grounding techniques to stay present

4. Practice titration (small doses of feeling, not all at once)

5. Get professional support when needed

- Why you can't selectively numb—when you shut down pain, you shut down everything

- The importance of pacing yourself when reconnecting with emotions

- Personal experiences with numbness and learning to feel again

This isn't about forcing yourself to feel or overwhelming your system. It's about understanding why you went numb and how to safely reconnect. Because you can't heal what you can't feel.

If you've ever felt absent from your own life, like you're watching from behind glass, or wondered why you feel nothing when you "should" feel something this episode will help you understand what's happening and how to move forward.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Experiencing emotional numbness? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit alottogrowthrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: alottogrowthrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand emotional numbness, please leave a rating and review. It helps others who are struggling with numbness find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This episode discusses dissociation, emotional numbness, trauma responses, depression, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

WHY IT'S SO HARD: LEARNING TO ACTUALLY FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

Someone once told me to "just feel your feelings." And I remember thinking: I don't even know what that means.

If you've spent your whole life avoiding emotions, that advice is useless.

In this episode, we get real about why feeling your feelings is so hard, what happens when you avoid emotions for too long, and practical steps to start when you have no idea where to begin.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why most of us weren't taught how to feel our feelings (we learned to suppress, ignore, or perform them)

- How childhood emotional invalidation teaches you that your emotions are wrong

- The messages we received: "stop crying," "you're too sensitive," "calm down," "don't be dramatic"

- What emotional suppression costs you: physical health, authentic relationships, mental well being, decision-making clarity

- Why emotions are information, not problems (what each emotion is trying to tell you)

- The difference between feeling your feelings and drowning in them

- The "window of tolerance" concept and why you need to pace yourself

- 5 practical steps to start feeling your emotions:

1. Notice your body (where emotions show up physically)

2. Name the feeling (using tools like feelings wheels when you're stuck)

3. Allow it to be there (without fixing, numbing, or performing)

4. Get curious about what it's telling you

5. Get support (therapy, trusted people, communities)

- Personal experiences with learning to feel after years of suppression

- Why this is one of the most fundamental skills for healing

- How to start small when emotions feel overwhelming

This isn't about becoming more emotional or crying all the time. It's about learning to be with your emotions instead of running from them. Because you can't heal what you won't feel.

If you've been told to "feel your feelings" and had no idea how to actually do that, this episode gives you the practical framework to begin.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Learning to feel your feelings? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit alottogrowthrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: alottogrowthrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand how to start feeling your feelings, please leave a rating and review. It helps others who need this practical guidance find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This episode discusses emotional suppression, childhood invalidation, trauma responses, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

Mindfulness has become a buzzword. It's on apps, in corporate wellness programs, in every self-help book.

But what does it actually mean? And why does it matter for healing?

In this episode, we cut through the noise and get real about mindfulness; What it is beyond sitting on a meditation cushion, why it's essential for trauma recovery, and practical ways to practice presence in daily life.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- What mindfulness actually is: paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgment

- Why mindfulness ≠ meditation (and how you can be mindful while washing dishes, walking, eating)

- The 4 reasons mindfulness matters for healing (grounding from past/future, processing emotions, building distress tolerance, interrupting automatic patterns)

- How trauma keeps you stuck in past or future; Rarely in the present where you have agency

- What present moment awareness actually feels like (noticing your body, environment, thoughts)

- Why traditional mindfulness doesn't always work for trauma survivors

- Adapted mindfulness practices for people with trauma histories (external focus, movement-based, eyes open, short sessions)

- Practical daily mindfulness exercises: mindful breathing, body scans, grounding techniques, mindful eating, walking meditation

- How to practice when sitting still feels impossible or unsafe

- Why presence creates the pause where healing happens

- Building distress tolerance: learning "I can be with this without escaping"

This isn't about clearing your mind or achieving some zen state. It's about being present in your actual life even when it's messy, uncomfortable, or overwhelming.

If you've been told to "just meditate" and felt like mindfulness wasn't for you, this episode will give you practical, accessible ways to practice presence that work for real people dealing with real challenges.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

How do you practice presence? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped demystify mindfulness for you, please leave a rating and review. It helps others discover practical approaches to presence.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses trauma, dissociation, and mental health topics. Mindfulness practices discussed are adapted for trauma survivors but may still be activating for some listeners.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

Change is constant. And yet, every time it happens, it feels destabilizing.

Even good changes—getting married, having a baby, landing your dream job, moving to a new city—come with grief and uncertainty. Because change requires letting go. And most of us are terrible at letting go.

In this episode, we get real about why life transitions feel so hard, what makes the in-between so uncomfortable, and how to navigate change without losing yourself in the process.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why change feels destabilizing even when it's objectively positive

- The 4 reasons we resist change (uncertainty, identity shifts, attachment, avoidance)

- Why your brain treats change as a threat—even when it's opportunity

- The hidden truth: every transition includes loss

- How to grieve what you're losing while moving toward what's next

- Why positive changes (marriage, parenthood, dream jobs) still come with grief

- The concept of "loss aversion" and why losing feels bigger than gaining

- How to navigate the in-between without rushing to certainty

- What transitions invite you toward (not toxic positivity—agency)

- Why you don't have to have it all figured out

- How to hold both grief and growth simultaneously

This isn't about "embracing change" or finding silver linings. It's about understanding what's actually happening when your life shifts—and giving yourself permission to feel all of it.

If you're in the middle of a transition and feeling unmoored, uncertain, or like you've lost yourself this episode will help you make sense of what you're experiencing.

Change doesn't let you stay comfortable. And that's exactly the point.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Are you navigating a life transition? Share your story, questions, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand what you're going through during transition, please leave a rating and review. It helps others navigating change find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses life transitions, loss, grief, uncertainty, and emotional challenges. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

GIVING YOURSELF WHAT YOU NEEDED: HOW TO REPARENT YOUR INNER CHILD

Your parents aren't going to suddenly become the parents you needed. Your partner can't heal your childhood wounds. Your friends can't fill that void.

You have to do it yourself.

That's reparenting—the process of giving yourself the care, validation, boundaries, and emotional support you needed as a child but didn't receive. It's becoming your own good parent.

In this episode, we get real about what reparenting actually means, why it's some of the hardest work you'll do, and how to start giving yourself what you've been waiting for someone else to provide.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- What reparenting actually means (and what it's not)

- Why your unmet childhood needs don't expire when you grow up

- How to identify what you didn't receive as a child (validation, boundaries, safety, unconditional love)

- The concept of the "inner child" and why it matters

- A practical exercise to connect with your inner child

- What came up when I first did this work—and why it hurt so much

- How to give yourself permission to play, rest, and just be

- Why reparenting feels uncomfortable (and why that discomfort matters)

- The difference between self-care and reparenting

- How to become the adult you needed when you were young

This isn't soft, abstract therapy-speak. This is hard, uncomfortable, necessary work. Because what you needed as a child doesn't disappear just because you became an adult.

If you're carrying childhood wounds—if you didn't get emotional validation, healthy boundaries, affection, or safety—this episode will help you understand how to meet those needs yourself.

Nobody's coming to save you. You have to save yourself.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Have you done reparenting work? Share your story, reflections, or questions. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review. It helps others who need this find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses childhood trauma, unmet needs, emotional wounds, and mental health topics that may be activating. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

THE COST OF APPROVAL-SEEKING: WHY YOU CAN'T SAY NO & HOW TO STOP PEOPLE-PLEASING

You say yes when you mean no. You accommodate when you want to refuse. You bend yourself into shapes to keep others comfortable while your own needs go unmet. And you're exhausted.

People-pleasing isn't a personality flaw—it's a survival strategy you learned when keeping others happy meant staying safe. But the strategy that protected you then is limiting you now.

In this episode, we break down where people-pleasing comes from, what it's actually costing you, and how to start choosing yourself without drowning in guilt.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why people-pleasing is a survival strategy, not a character flaw

- The childhood environments that teach us our needs don't matter

- The exhaustion of constant accommodation; monitoring others' emotions, suppressing your needs, losing yourself

- The connection between people-pleasing and the fawn trauma response

- What people-pleasing actually costs: relationships, health, sense of self

- How to recognize when "being nice" is actually self-abandonment

- The difference between kindness and compulsive accommodation

- Why saying no feels so terrifying (and how to do it anyway)

- How to handle guilt when you start setting boundaries

- Why selfishness isn't inherently bad and why you need some to survive

This episode asks the question: "What am I giving up within myself to make sure this person's life runs smoothly and mine doesn't?"

If you're tired of bending, accommodating, and disappearing for others this episode will help you understand why it's happening and how to reclaim yourself.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Are you working on breaking people-pleasing patterns? Share your story or ask a question. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit alottogrowthrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: alottogrowthrough.com

Instagram: @altgtpodcast

Threads: @altgtpodcast

Bluesky: @altgtpodcast

YouTube: A Lot To Grow Through

Facebook: A Lot To Grow Through

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you see your people-pleasing patterns more clearly, please leave a rating and review. It helps others who need this find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses trauma responses, childhood experiences, toxic relationship patterns, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.