Why is it so hard to do something we say we want to do—like meditation? To hear this episode ad-free get a 7 day free trial right now. In this episode, Jen responds to a listener from her Patreon community who says she knows meditation is good for her but can't get herself to do it consistently. The conversation quickly turns into a bigger question: do you actually want to do the thing, or do you just think you're supposed to? Jen talks about ADHD, perfectionism, nervous system regulation, and how a lot of us get stuck trying to do things the "right" way. She also makes the point that meditation doesn't work for everyone and you don't have to force yourself to do it if it isn't the thing that helps you regulate. The real work is figuring out why you think you want to do something and what you're hoping it will give you. Jen also challenges the idea that consistency has to mean daily, and explains why doing something a few times a week might already count as consistent. Along the way, she discusses different ways people calm their nervous systems from walking meditation and mantra repetition to progressive muscle relaxation and EFT tapping, while encouraging listeners to rethink motivation, regulation, and the expectations we put on ourselves. SHOW NOTES: Get Support in Jen's "We Are A Lot" Community A highly interactive monthly membership where you get daily body doubling sessions with Jen, a book club meeting, a weekly check-in progress meeting, private chat community, free worksheets, guides and printables, journal prompts, Q&A with Jen as well as all of the podcast episodes early, ad-free, video version with transcript, four audio bonus episodes per month. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD brains that need connection and support taking action, so you're not doing it all alone. Membership is $24.99/month, but you can get 3 months free if you join annually and you can get a one-week free trial! Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day It's not music, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made for ADHD brains and it's genius! I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in, no distractions. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! No catch. Cancel anytime. The Big A## Calendar I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner. I'm obsessed. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order. See all 365 days in one view, dry erase, color-coded labels, and a 3-step planning system to change your life! Use JENKIRKMAN at checkout. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports independent bookstores, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day. I have a pink one from the MOD collection. I use it to help me visualize time during work blocks, breaks, and completing tasks. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast. Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to — I buy my spiral notebooks and Le Pen pens from them and use them daily for lists, journaling, and planning. You can get notebooks monogrammed and save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort I love UnHide's products — their vegan weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming, especially if you're neurodivergent and soothed by gentle weight and cozy textures. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20.
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