Have you ever wanted to change someone? Did you change them, and did it work? Have you become infatuated with someone else’s issues and problems, wondering if they just changed or fixed the issue then everything would be okay? Have you drained and wasted energy trying to change someone and gotten nowhere? 

News flash: You cannot change or control anyone. You can only control how you respond to that person in your life. 

Why did Ariella stay? She thought that if they went to church seeking help and prayer, it would change her situation. Ariella was waiting for a miraculous answer to her prayers. Ariella was too overwhelmed with emotions and worry to find solutions to her problems. She questioned herself. She wanted to make sure that before she left Kaleb, she would do everything she could to save her marriage. 

She decided that she would learn everything that she could do to make things better. She would give it her all, and if it came down to her leaving Kaleb, she would know she did everything to save her marriage and family. Ariella started to pray for answers that “God” would change him or help her. Ariella noticed Kaleb drifting away, not wanting to attend church, leaving the service early, or not wanting to go, but she continued to go with the kids. She made excuses like: I don’t have enough money to leave. I can change Kaleb. If he is gone, who will take out the trash? I don’t like being alone. He’s the father to my children. It takes two people to work at a marriage or a relationship. 

Are you the only one trying to find solutions for problems? Kaleb never admitted that he had an affair. To begin healing from adultery, the person who created the offense has to ask for forgiveness and sincerely mean it to start the healing process. If they think that they have done nothing wrong, the affair will repeat over and over again without remorse. Addictions will blind a person from determining right from wrong choices. Addictions numb the pain of the consequences of their choices and reality of the truth. You cannot seek regular steps to heal someone who has an addiction. You cannot seek help from people who do not have experience with addiction.

Please use my story as a tool to help you identify the red flags that might appear in your relationship. I want to help you identify the problems and address them with solutions. This book will help you move forward with your relationships for a positive future outcome. I will help you expose the excuses and lies and help you discover the truth regarding your relationship. You will meditate on your current relationship and learn how to become healthy and successful. 

Stop finding excuses to stay in a chaotic marriage and start taking the steps required to fix it. I believe that if you seek the truth, it will set you free. If you ask for something and earnestly look for it, you will find your answer. Do you want to find the truth or do you want to keep walking blindly into chaos? I believe that God has a plan, and his plan is not to harm or forsake you, but to give you a prosperous life. This book is for all of those who have struggled with the same issues as me. I just want to let you know that you are not alone.