Troy Love and Tami answer participant questions about attachment wounds, shame, healthy boundaries, and the reality that an addict is always going to be an addict. It’s only how they chose to move forward in recovery that will change their life for better.

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] My partner betrayed me and now we live like roommates. How can I refine myself whether I stay or go?

[6:27] How can I stop judging myself for staying?

[10:01] My wife doesn’t think I’m working hard enough in recovery. Is there a timeline we should know about?

[17:09] Will I ever be able to live my life without triggers?

[21:55] Are men and women meant to be in marital couples? It appears to be societal not biological.

[24:40] How can I engage in healthy sexual activity, without blurring the lines between the patterns of my unhealthy sexual behavior?

[30:16] I’m not sure my spouse is even sober, which treatment group is right for him?

[34:03] How can I address the pain of recovery preemptively before I move to soothe by acting out?

[38:42] My partner is still acting out and even harming others. How can I move forward?

[41:19] My avoidant attachment style is making connection feel non-exisistent.

[45:54] Has Seeking Integrity considered having a moderator who is a betrayed partner?

[47:51] If relationships are so painful, why don’t we tell people that relationships aren’t for everyone?

RESOURCES:

Seekingintegrity.com

Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com

Sexandrelationshiphealing.com

Intherooms.com

Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss

Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES

• “Wounds need to be healed regardless of what choice you make about staying in a relationship.”

• “Every partner wants it to be all better right now, and that’s just not reality. You will always be an addict.”

• “Shame is going to unravel connection faster than anything else.”

• “We all have attachment wounds, and they are going to get bumped.”