Bossy Brothers

Thirteen years before Emma Dumas bought me in a bachelor auction to teach me a lesson, she stole my heart down on Key West. I fell so hard for this girl, I made all the promises. Only with Emma, I really meant them. And then I disappeared. But it wasn’t my fault. Let’s just call my reason “Family Business”. I’d tell you what that business is, but then I’d have to kill you. Just kidding. I can’t tell you what my family business is because it’s so secret, even I don’t know.

Six years before my phone rang and changed my life forever, I made a mistake. I met a girl, we had some fun, and then we had a baby. And I fell pretty damn hard for my daughter. I was going to be there. I was going to give her everything I never had. I was going to have a family. And then her mother disappeared and took my baby with her. And now she’s done it again. Because that call that changed my life was from my five-year-old daughter asking me if I knew where her Mommy was.

She wasn't supposed to be the princess I wasn't looking for. When my father "died" five years ago, I took over the "family business". But when I say business, I really mean secret society. Or cult. Or militia. Hell, let's keep it simple and call it the mob. It's just not that mob. It's much darker, much dirtier, and much more dangerous than any old everyday mob. And I was perfectly fine with my role in life for a long time. But now my brothers are involved, and I need to get them out. Enter Megan Machette.

Jesse Boston is the man of my dreams. He's super sexy, super rich, and super funny. He gets all my jokes, he treats me like a princess, and our love life is smokin' hot. So I'm gonna marry him. I'm not real picky about how that happens, and if my mother wants to have her say, fine. That's fine. She gave birth to three boys and just one girl. So I get it. She NEEDS a wedding. But when she invites my childhood nemesis, KAREN, to plan our wedding AND be one of my bride's maids? Uh - no. It's not happening.

Lonnie Derringer is a filthy-mouthed, dirty-talking, long-distance fling. (That's been going on for two years.) I know, I know. That's not a fling. This might be getting serious. I look forward to our quickie lunch dates and the way he whispers in my ear every night from 2,000 miles away. He's the best boyfriend I never had. Until I find out his name isn't Lonnie, it's Alonzo. Until I find out he's not some boring accountant with a dead-end job, he's a six-foot-four, yoked-out, tatted-up fisherman who never wears a shirt!

Belinda Baker and I were not made for each other. We are not soul mates, or lovers, or even frenemies. She is the one who needed to get away. What we had together wasn’t blind love, it was sick rage. We were a match made in hell, it was hate at first sight, and when she walked away from me and never looked back - it was a relief. It was bliss. So why did I travel 2,000 miles so I could be near her? Why can’t I stop thinking about this girl I never want to see again?

Zach and I always have a third. Girls are how we’ve kept it fresh all year. We’ve gone through dozens of them since we got serious, and I’m not saying I don’t enjoy the dynamic of a threesome, because I do. But when this cute girl with pink hair comes sailing into our lives and upends everything - I don’t know if we’ll survive it.