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Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.

New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.

Greetings you little rascals! Isn't it hard enough being a teenager these days? Proops wants to discover the drugged up geniuses whose parents force-feed Ritalin. And, speaking of parenting, Madonna doesn't change her babies' diapers AND to add insult to injury, Proops says her new concert sucketh. Finally, recent shark attacks make Proops proud of the garden-variety prehistoric man-eating behavior.

Hello Audible Rebels and welcome to AudibleProops, your one-stop satirical shop. Dick Cheney recently announced that the Democrats are the ones behind the high oil prices. Huh? This makes Proops wonder who on earth still believe anything that the President or VP Goebbles actually say. And with Tom "Orange Alert" Ridge going around saying he has the best job in the world, Proops wants to take a minute to really think that one over.

Bonjour Proops Petit Chous. Our Man Proops is in Montreal this week and he's catching onto why the rest of Canada is more than happy to let the Quebecois succeed. He says the sophisticated Frenchy attitude of Quebec makes for none of the scenery of France, but all of the attitude. Then, traveling down the St. Lawrence Seaway of Satirical Bile, Proops goes over the checklist why John Edwards is NOT Dick Cheney and why the Republicans are shaking in their duck blinds.

Hello, Creatures of the Night! Proops has returned from interminable prairies of Foxskatchewan to the everyday reality show known as life in Los Angeles. He's slathering on (and on) about the bare-all lives of Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, the Olsen twins, and the only slightly more down-to-earth commuters stuck at all hours on L.A. freeways. Proops also has some new thoughts on Dick Cheney and the culture war raging between the red states and the blue states.

Hello, unconventional conventioneers. Proops is reporting for duty from the Swift Boat Pot-Heads for Truth, and he's weighing in on the recent Republican Nuremberg Rally in NYC. With more than half-a-million protesters, Proops says he's tired of all the talk of a convention bounce for Bush. He also has just a word or two to say about Governor Arnold, flip-flopper Senator Zell Miller, and the day-long furlough Vice President Dick Cheney was granted so that he might escape the Land of Creeposaurus.

Sirens blazing, Greg Proops storms on the scene once again, so buckle up, and welcome to the ProopsMobile - it's fun! Bursting through the Grammys, barreling into NASCAR news, taking a right turn at Nixon's eulogy, Greg then takes it straight home to Iraq. Grab a dixie cup and dip right in! For Adults Only: Explicit language. Must be 18 years of age to purchase.

Were it up to Greg, Robert Downey Jr. would be nominated President extant and emeritus of the Screen Actor's Guild. Why the American tourist in space is wrong, wrong, wrong; why we scored with W, what would Gore do?; what's going on in Venlo, Holland (drive-through drug shops), and more.

Susie's back on her NYC interviews, and her guest this week is sex educator and burlesque performer Ducky Doolittle, a.k.a. Knockers the Clown. Ducky enchants Susie with stories of cake sitting (part of her act) and talk about her early days working as a sex performer in a Times Square peep show. These days, when she's not clowning around, Ducky teaches sex workshops. She has some sage advice on how to feel sexier instantly. You can learn more about Ducky Doolittle at her website: www.duckydoolittle.com.

Be forewarned: Proops agrees with the Prez on Palestinian statehood. This strange alignment of opinion even makes our pal Proops wonder if you should listen to him. Never fear. While engaging in some drug enhanced soul searching, he's warmed up a plate of your favorite: the new Presidential reality series C-Student In Charge, a recipe for Martha Stewart stew, his favorite line from Michael Skakel's failed defense, why being a CEO of United is the sweetest gig, and a peace plan for India and Pakistan.

Stand to!...for a journey into Greg's favorite part of Italy: Self Induglia. Hold on fast, as this is but a stone's throw from Self Loathia. He's qualified to "rock the mike" and is cooler than you - and has all the reasons in the Union to back this up. Listen to him, you might benefit. And if any sticks, it's yours. Free (no extras, no hiddens). Isn't Greg a jolly-good fellow?

Recently, Proops was shocked to hear new CNN anchor Aaron Brown report the end of ironic wise-guy humor in light of current world events. Proops says, hasn't wise-guy humor carried us this far? Also, with new security measures causing Clint Eastwood to be stopped and searched on a Hollywood set recently, Proops risks heresy to wonder aloud if maybe current security methods aren't going a little too far?

Hello interplanetary hedgehogs. It's been a tough week for freedom and Proops greets you from his hometown of San Francisco, where he's still trying to figure out how two little words in a children's nursery rhyme caused so much ire. Proops sends kisses to SCOTUS, also to the ten men who rule the world, the lucky man who dates both Martha Stewart and her daughter, and to George Bush's much discussed nether regions.

Proops is back and he's recovering from what he calls his failure of satire on his last installment. He's now wondering what Tom Brokaw is so worried about when it's the assistants getting anthraxed; where scaredy-cat congresspeople run when they're spending your tax dollars on government bailouts; and what's the cost of civil liberties when no one knows the origins of anthrax tainted letters?

Ol' Disgruntled, the comedy farmer, is back! He's delivering vitriolic vittles to the humor-starved tables of the liberal NPR listeners - listing things he hates and, well, if he must, things he doesn't hate too. Greg tackles the drinking habits of English hens and pleads for mercy from stories of the sexual habits of California Rep. Gary Condit.

Poison darts at the ready! Proops, a.k.a Uncle Bummer, has a new batch of his curare-laced barbs for you. This potent brew adds two cups of Bush's current working vacation, a heaping of the Genoa police-fest, and a pinch of scantily-clad Mariah to taste. Spare stem cells anyone?

For Adults Only: Explicit language. Must be 18 years of age to purchase.

What's Greg's patriotic message for this week? From Scalia, the inevitable partisan bickering to come, beer can hats, it's almost too much for one to take. Have a listen.

Ahoy little nippers, and let the Commodore of Crankiness welcome you aboard the hate boat! Set Dick Cheney's defibrillator on stun, and let's get going! First, the Oscars: why we keep getting sucked back into it, why Greg thinks they suck, and why the Golden Globes will always be better. Second, too many stars slow up Traffic, says Greg. Plus, Shakespeare got high and the Blue Man Group. Jump on!

Welcome back to AudibleProops - after being on extended liberty in the Proops homeland of Snideberia, in the fertile heartland of Sarcasia, Proops is back. Winona Ryder busted for shoplifting? Tom Green and Drew Barrymore breaking up? Quelle surprise! And, Kate & Leopold reminds Proops that Meg Ryan is the fulcrum on which evil is balanced. The cutes shall infect the earth. Praise Allah. Also, Proops' short list of New Year's resolutions, i.e., number three, stop watching the news, and more.

Ready for this week's vitriol? Excellent! For you'll find out about "everyone" who voted for Bush, some of his cabinet positions, and how W's cabinet will, and will not, resemble Reagan's cabinet. Happy Holidays!