Ep. 10- Alisha Barnard & the Ehlers-Danlos gap.

This episode closes out the first season of the gap cast with a deeply personal conversation between Jim Barnard and his wife, Alisha. They reflect on 20 years of marriage, Alisha’s chronic illness journey with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and how faith, humor, and honesty have shaped their family story.

In this episode, Jim and Alisha talk openly about vulnerability, neurodiversity in parenting, and what it means to live with constant expectation gaps while still choosing joy and trust. It’s equal parts testimony, marriage conversation, and practical encouragement for anyone navigating hard things.

Key topics

• Alisha explains her chronic illness in her own words, including Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, severe gastric issues, and the long road through diagnosis and treatment.
• The conversation covers the pain and awkwardness of “poop school,” biofeedback, and the emotional cost of living with a body that does not function normally.
• Jim and Alisha discuss how suffering has deepened their faith, making Jim less of a “nice Christian” and more of a desperate one who depends on Jesus.
• They name one of the hardest expectation gaps as the fear of being a burden to the people she loves, especially Jim and Anderson.

Timestamps

01:55 - Welcome to the Gap Cast and introducing Alisha as the guest

04:16 - Processing the Anderson episode (ep.1) and choosing authenticity

07:33 - Saying yes to tiller, nonprofit work, and faith-led risk

11:53 - Twenty years of marriage and why they still choose each other

16:44 - Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and the realities of gastric breakdown

20:26 - Mayo Clinic, diagnosis, and the road to answers

25:39 - Seventeen years of liquid diet life

27:54 - Wrestling with healing, suffering, and John 9

34:34 - Moving from a “nice Christian” to a desperate one

37:53 - The hardest expectation gap: feeling like a burden

43:17 - Carrying burdens like a Sherpa and casting anxiety on Christ

49:50 - Palliative care, meaning, and finding beauty in hardship

53:55 - Humor as survival, including dark jokes and perspective

56:34 - Launching into the “oldlywed game”

73:56 - How to pray for Alisha and what she wants people to know

76:09 - Closing the season, audience support, and what comes next

Notable quotes

“The power of God can be on display through you and through us, through our story.”

“I’m not in control, and it’s okay to not be in control.”

Resources & Links:

• tiller coaching.
• tiller instagram
• tiller youtube
• tiller substack

Ep. 9- Carlos Sanchez & the military expectation gap.

Jim Barnard talks with Carlos Sanchez, a tiller coach, Army veteran, and longtime ministry leader, about the gap between military expectations and reality, the impact of combat and loss, and how faith and counseling helped him heal. Carlos also shares how his path moved from YWAM and military service into coaching men, couples, veterans, and pastors.

They also get personal about church, community, barbecue, Cowboys football, and the unlikely chain of events that led Carlos from a Starbucks patio in high school to ultimately joining tiller coaching.

Timestamps

00:00 - Pre-show banter, wardrobe jokes, and the Gapcast dance-off

02:23 - Jim introduces Coach Carlos as “Crazy Carl” and the episode gets rolling

04:21 - The unusual 20-year Army career in psychological operations

07:31 - Staying stationed at Fort Bragg for two decades

09:51 - Growing up in Dallas and why Texas pride never left

10:46 - The episode’s main question: the expectation gaps of military life

12:44 - Combat loss, grief, and the myth of “I’ll deal with it later”

15:03 - Counseling, coaching, and mentoring as part of real recovery

19:48 - Why talking about his the death of his “little brother” became a way to honor his life and legacy

21:33 - Carlos’ conversion at 14 and his early fire for the Lord

24:08 - YWAM, faith, and a providential connection on a Starbucks patio

29:36 - The drift from faith during college and early adulthood

35:22 - His return to church leadership after coming back from Iraq

39:16 - How Manna Church’s military highway vision connected Carlos and Jim

44:23 - Jim explains why he believed Carlos was called to tiller coaching.

48:55 - Lightning round: barbecue, Cook Out, boiled peanuts, and Cowboys chaos

56:02 - The ask for prayer and financial support for tiller coaching—why the work matters: baptisms, restored marriages, and life change

62:13 - Jim closes with a reminder not to walk through the expectation gap alone

Notable quotes

“The military is a hard life for service members, for spouses, for families.”

“It’s the responsibility of good men to be better at violence than evil men are.”

“I can honestly say this: 100% of the things that I experienced in the military have a direct spiritual application.”

Action items

• If you are stuck in an expectation gap, don’t try to carry it alone.
• Reach out for coaching, counseling, chaplain support, or trusted mentoring when trauma or grief surfaces.
• For men, couples, pastors, veterans, or active duty service members who need help, Carlos points listeners toward tiller coaching.

Resources & Links:

• tiller coaching.
• tiller instagram
• tiller facebook
• tiller youtube
• tiller substack

Ep. 8- Tim Rogers is the newest & oldest tiller coach.

Jim Barnard sits down with Tim Rogers, a longtime leader, coach, and tiller coaching team member, to trace the career twists, faith lessons, and relationships that led him into coaching. They talk through Tim’s path from counseling and technology into senior living, how layoffs and retirement reshaped his calling, and why tiller’s work centers on discipleship, multiplication, and helping people navigate expectation gaps.

We discuss how Tim’s secular work experience sharpened his ability to lead and invest in people, how the tiller relationship began, and what it looks like to coach men and couples with spiritual depth and practical clarity. The conversation also includes a lightning round, some Louisiana humor, and a direct pitch for why more coaches and support are needed.

Key topics

• Tim’s early path from New Orleans to Colorado, including psychology, seminary, and earning a counseling degree
• Why his original plan to start a counseling practice shifted into technology, mortgages, and eventually senior living
• The toll of leading through COVID, including moral injury, family strain, and being laid off after years of service
• The idea of “retire to something,” not just retire, and how that led Tim toward coaching
• How Tim and Jim first connected through a church story about expectation gaps
• Why Tim donated to tiller before ever meeting Jim, then later became part of the board and coaching ecosystem
• The role of expectation gaps in career, marriage, leadership, and spiritual formation
• How Tim sees tiller coaching as discipleship, not just mental health adjacent work
• The concept of “duck praying” and why staying spiritually focused matters in coaching sessions
• How Tim measures success by walking away from deep coaching sessions energized rather than burdened

Notable quotes

“Retire to something.”

“If you get fired and you don’t know why, you haven’t been paying attention.”

“It’s about discipleship, it’s about multiplication, it’s about healing, it’s about growth.”

Resources & Links:

• tiller instagram
• tiller facebook
• tiller coaching.

Ep. 7- Jeff Zaugg is dadawesome.

Jim Barnard sits down with Jeff Zaugg, founder of DadAwesome, for a wide open conversation about fatherhood, ministry, resilience, and what it takes to keep showing up over the long haul. Jeff shares the story behind DadAwesome, the Fathers for the Fatherless campaign, and the practical ways he helps dads move toward heaven and home. They also talk honestly about hard seasons, including family conflict, church transition grief, financial strain, and the cost of leading a mission driven life.

Key topics

• In this episode, Jeff shares how DadAwesome started as a 10 week experiment and grew into an 8.5 year ministry with nearly 450 podcast episodes.
• Jeff explains the heart behind the mission - turning fathers’ hearts toward heaven and toward home.
• They discuss the six year Fathers for the Fatherless campaign, which took Jeff and his family across the country in an RV and helped raise and give away $1 million.
• They reflect on the emotional and relational cost of leaving a long church staff role and losing about half of their friendships in the process.
• Jeff describes the RV season as both the hardest and most alive he has ever felt, with surprises like mechanical breakdowns, a snowstorm, and life on the road with four girls and a newborn.
• The conversation covers the launch of Jeff’s book, including delays, Amazon problems, cut chapters, and the value of humility in producing something meaningful.
• Jim highlights how practical and story rich the book is, especially the way Jeff uses vivid examples to anchor big truths.
• Jeff explains how DadAwesome helps men through conversations, challenges, and coaching, and how everyday dads can become “activators” for others.

Key frameworks

• Hearts toward heaven, toward home - Jeff’s core leadership framework for fatherhood.
• Conversation, challenges, coaching - The three ways DadAwesome helps dads engage.
• Soft heart at the rocking chair - A long view of fatherhood centered on legacy.
• Stay on mission - Even in grief or transition, keep serving and looking outward.
• Flexibility with strength - A lesson Jeff pulls from the tree fort story and applies to leadership and life.

Action items

• Read DadAwesome and look for one concrete fatherhood practice you can apply this week.
• Start a deeper conversation with another dad instead of keeping things surface level.
• Find a way to stay on mission in your local church or community, even during grief.
• Build a circle of honest friends who can handle hard truth before crisis hits.

Resources & Links:

• dadawesome website
• dadawesome book on amazon
• dadawesome instagram
• dadawesome youtube
• dadawesome on apple podcasts
• tiller coaching.

Ep. 6- TJ Sharitz, the (used to be) Control Freak. Part 2

TJ Sharitz joins Jim Barnard for an unusually personal conversation about how a lifetime of striving, control, and pain shaped his faith, family, and writing. They cover TJ’s book, Control Freak, The Least Valuable Player, and the deeply honest journey behind it, including dyslexia, athletic identity, a life-threatening bone infection, pornography, family repair, and the decision to yield control to God.

This is an interview driven by testimony and reflection, with Jim and TJ both contributing substantively. The main topics are TJ’s personal history, the shaping of his control issues, his medical crisis and recovery, and the healing that came through writing and family honesty.

Key topics

• In this episode, TJ shares how being diagnosed with dyslexia and ADD in third grade became an early turning point that made him feel ashamed, isolated, and determined to control everything he could.
• He talks about finding success in swimming and football because athletics gave him measurable outcomes, personal discipline, and a place where he could win without depending on other people.
• TJ explains the disappointment and injury that ended his kicking dreams, including a pivotal tryout moment that he now sees as part of God redirecting his path toward broadcast work.
• He describes how a career in television and production grew out of that redirected path, eventually leading to meaningful ministry, family life, and the writing of his book.
• Jim and TJ discuss the difference between wielding control and yielding control, a phrase they developed together to describe surrender as an active choice rather than passive defeat.
• TJ recounts a devastating medical crisis involving a spinal bone infection, paralysis, emergency treatment, and being told he had five days to live, then later experiencing what he believes was a miraculous healing.
• He shares how that crisis forced a genuine surrender to God and changed how he saw his marriage, fatherhood, and purpose.
• The conversation turns to trauma and secrecy when TJ reveals childhood molestation, how that pain stayed buried for decades, and how it connected to his control issues, shame, and addiction.
• TJ and Jim discuss pornography honestly and directly, including how it functioned as another form of control, how he addressed it with his family, and what accountability now looks like for him.
• They close with TJ reflecting on the healing power of authenticity, the “golden thread” in his story, and the hope that his testimony can help other men who feel trapped, ashamed, or alone.

Notable quotes

“When we give it to God, I mean, He's the master orchestrator.”

“With control, we can either wield it like a weapon or we can yield it.”

“The greatest gift of surrender is not having to be the one to carry all the weight.”

Resources & Links:

• Control Freak book website
• Coincidence or God TikTok
• TJ’s instagram
• TJ's youtube
• tiller coaching.
  

Ep. 5- TJ Sharitz, the (used to be) Control Freak.

TJ Sharitz joins Jim Barnard for a deeply personal conversation about control, faith, learning differences, redemption, and the winding path that led him to his book, Control Freak, The Least Valuable Player. This episode matters because it shows how pain, shame, and loss of control can become the very places where healing and purpose begin. In this episode, Jim and TJ talk through TJ’s childhood diagnosis of dyslexia and ADD, the pressure and humiliation that shaped his need for control, and the athletic success that gave him places to win. They also dig into the painful spiritual and family turning points that eventually led TJ to yield control to God, confront hidden wounds, and share his story to help others.

Timestamps

03:07 - Jim introduces TJ Sharitz and sets up the conversation

05:05 - How Jay and Catherine Wolf helped connect TJ and Jim

11:11 - Third grade, dyslexia, and the early need to control outcomes

19:19 - Swimming, competition, and choosing a sport he could dominate

21:34 - Being told college was unlikely and still making it to Virginia Tech

26:18 - The kicker dream, NFL tryouts, and the blown out knee moment

33:15 - Broadcast work, Savannah, and the path to television

39:14 - The Kiwanis Club encounter and the “mic drop” dyslexia moment

46:23 - Business success, control addiction, and the start of the turnaround

50:48 - The Choices seminar and the beginning of surrender

54:29 - The back pain that turned into a life-threatening diagnosis

Notable quotes

“When we give it to God, He’s the master orchestrator.”

“I surrendered to God.”

“When you yield control, you are so much more in control than you know.”

Resources & Links:

• Control Freak book website
• Coincidence or God TikTok
• TJ’s instagram
• TJ's youtube
• tiller coaching.
  

Ep. 4- Richie Reeder is pressing on.

In this episode, Jim Barnard talks with Richie Reeder, executive director of Pressing On, a Pittsburgh nonprofit that supports hospitalized families, especially those on pediatric transplant journeys. Richie shares how his family’s own medical crisis with his daughter Myka led him away from a more traditional pastoral path and into hospital-based coaching, chaplaincy, and practical care.

We discuss the emotional weight of living with a medically fragile child, how to show up for families with presence before words, and why Pressing On serves tangible needs first to earn the right to offer deeper support.

Timestamps

02:49 - Introducing Richie Reeder and Pressing On

04:43 - What Pressing On does for pediatric transplant families

06:08 - Moving to Pittsburgh and building a life there

14:51 - How Richie discovered The suffering guy.

18:15 - The parallel between Jim’s ministry and Richie’s story

20:22 - Myka’s birth, MMA diagnosis, and emergency hospital care

23:46 - Understanding transplant complications and rejection

26:07 - Life with an immunosuppressed child before and during COVID

28:29 - How the pandemic and medical precautions affected relationships

30:37 - Seeing the pruning season that led to Pressing On

37:29 - The emotional weight of watching life continue outside the hospital

45:18 - Serving 4,000 families and the weight of that milestone

49:32 - How Pressing On is funded and why relationship matters more than strategy

56:09 - An update on Myka’s health, school, and activities

58:38 - Lightning round: Packers, hot dogs, Primanti Brothers, and Pirates hopes

Notable quotes

“We specialize in accompanying families on their journey of pediatric transplant.”

“We want to meet a physical need and then earn the right to meet an intangible emotional and spiritual need.”

“Every number has a name and every name has a story and every story points toward perseverance.”

Resources & Links:

• Pressing On website
• Pressing On instagram
• Richie’s instagram
• Pressing On facebook
• Pressing On youtube
• tiller coaching.
  

Ep. 3 Scott Hanson & his box of crackers.

In this episode, Jim Barnard welcomes Scott Hanson to explore how recognizing and bridging the expectation gap can profoundly impact one’s marriage, personal growth, and spiritual journey. Scott shares candid stories about his surprising experiences, personal development, and the power of authentic engagement in life and faith.

Timestamps:
02:00 - Jim introduces Scott’s background and their coaching relationship
06:00 - Shared experiences with marriage, challenges, and expectations after 25 years
10:00 - Wives with high power, intelligence, and physical limitations
16:00 - The story of buying a box of crackers and stepping into adult independence
24:00 - Experimenting with presence and honest communication in marriage
28:00 - The role of spiritual disciplines, celebration, and letting go of self-seriousness
30:00 - Scott’s leadership role in Bible Study Fellowship and spiritual growth
34:00 - The ongoing journey of advocating for oneself and embodying leadership
40:00 - Overcoming the expectation gap through service and celebration
42:00 - Recognizing personal identity and worth outside of seriousness
52:00 - Light-hearted commercial challenge: advocating coaching with authenticity
54:00 - The importance of mentorship, cultural shifts, and vulnerability

Resources & Links:

• Bible Study Fellowship (BSF)
• tiller coaching.
  

This episode illustrates the transformative power of recognizing and addressing the expectation gap, practicing authentic vulnerability, and engaging community and spiritual disciplines to foster growth at every stage of life.