Ep. 9- Carlos Sanchez & the military expectation gap.

Jim Barnard talks with Carlos Sanchez, a tiller coach, Army veteran, and longtime ministry leader, about the gap between military expectations and reality, the impact of combat and loss, and how faith and counseling helped him heal. Carlos also shares how his path moved from YWAM and military service into coaching men, couples, veterans, and pastors.

They also get personal about church, community, barbecue, Cowboys football, and the unlikely chain of events that led Carlos from a Starbucks patio in high school to ultimately joining tiller coaching.

Timestamps

00:00 - Pre-show banter, wardrobe jokes, and the Gapcast dance-off

02:23 - Jim introduces Coach Carlos as “Crazy Carl” and the episode gets rolling

04:21 - The unusual 20-year Army career in psychological operations

07:31 - Staying stationed at Fort Bragg for two decades

09:51 - Growing up in Dallas and why Texas pride never left

10:46 - The episode’s main question: the expectation gaps of military life

12:44 - Combat loss, grief, and the myth of “I’ll deal with it later”

15:03 - Counseling, coaching, and mentoring as part of real recovery

19:48 - Why talking about his the death of his “little brother” became a way to honor his life and legacy

21:33 - Carlos’ conversion at 14 and his early fire for the Lord

24:08 - YWAM, faith, and a providential connection on a Starbucks patio

29:36 - The drift from faith during college and early adulthood

35:22 - His return to church leadership after coming back from Iraq

39:16 - How Manna Church’s military highway vision connected Carlos and Jim

44:23 - Jim explains why he believed Carlos was called to tiller coaching.

48:55 - Lightning round: barbecue, Cook Out, boiled peanuts, and Cowboys chaos

56:02 - The ask for prayer and financial support for tiller coaching—why the work matters: baptisms, restored marriages, and life change

62:13 - Jim closes with a reminder not to walk through the expectation gap alone

Notable quotes

“The military is a hard life for service members, for spouses, for families.”

“It’s the responsibility of good men to be better at violence than evil men are.”

“I can honestly say this: 100% of the things that I experienced in the military have a direct spiritual application.”

Action items

• If you are stuck in an expectation gap, don’t try to carry it alone.
• Reach out for coaching, counseling, chaplain support, or trusted mentoring when trauma or grief surfaces.
• For men, couples, pastors, veterans, or active duty service members who need help, Carlos points listeners toward tiller coaching.

Resources & Links:

• tiller coaching.
• tiller instagram
• tiller facebook
• tiller youtube
• tiller substack