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This week on Zachsolved Mysteries, incompetence isn’t just a theme – it’s a through line. From real-life walk-ins to spiritual walk-outs, from third-person murder denials to to Zach somehow outsourcing his responsibilities mid-sentence, we’ve got the full spectrum.

Join us as we spiral through a suspiciously well-staged death scene in Texas (starring an aggressively incompetent man who only slips into first person when accidentally confessing to a murder), a metaphysical phenomenon that raises more questions than souls, and an anonymous trucker with divine timing and zero forwarding address.

Plus: ZSM Theatre returns with ghostly accountability hearings, post-resurrection regret, and possibly the worst police force in the multiverse. Also: Zach weaponizes his incompetence so many times we had to check if he was the walk-in.

Remember: justice may be elusive, but delusion? Limitless.



💙 Mental Health Matters 💙

It’s okay to not be okay. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and help is available.

📞 U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988
📞 Canada Talk Suicide Service: 1-833-456-4566
📞 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S. & Canada)
📞 International Resources: findahelpline.com

Please take care of yourselves, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. 💙

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This week, the mystery machine short-circuits in the best possible way. We chase memory gaps, muddled aliases, and missing mid-century mustaches in an episode that asks: what happens when even the backstories get confused?

Unsolved Mysteries gives us amnesia, aliases, a small-town murder, and a woman who disappears more often than she shows up—but ZSM Theatre takes it from there, plunging us deep into the metaphorical swamp (and, let’s be honest, a literal one too).

There are timelines. There are truths only your upper lips remembers. There are cold cases and even colder coleslaw.

If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Hi, I’m… uh…,” this one’s for you.

💙 Mental Health Matters 💙

It’s okay to not be okay. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and help is available.

📞 U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988
📞 Canada Talk Suicide Service: 1-833-456-4566
📞 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S. & Canada)
📞 International Resources: findahelpline.com

Please take care of yourselves, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. 💙

Send us a text

In this episode, we ask the age-old question: is it unresolved trauma or just soul Pilates? Either way, we’re punching our way through some heavy stories—with trench coats, wild metaphors, and a few truly unhinged side quests to help us make it to the bell.

First, Zach investigates the mysterious death of a heavyweight boxing icon whose fear of needles might be the most overlooked clue of all. Was it an overdose… or something more sinister?

Then, ZSM Theater returns in all its chaotic glory. This time we’re reenacting a real Unsolved Mysteries reunion segment with a genre-defying fever dream of scenes—including a heartfelt bathroom monologue, an emotionally charged gas station meet-cute, and yes, a full-blown musical number. If you’ve ever wanted to watch bureaucracy tap dance while rapping, this one’s for you.

As always, content warnings apply (check our show notes). But if you stick around, you’ll get laughs, catharsis, weird history, a haunted belt, and maybe even a reminder that choosing yourself is strength with a side of righteous flair.

ZSM Theater: Not on Broadway, but give us time.


💙 Mental Health Matters 💙

It’s okay to not be okay. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and help is available.

📞 U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988
📞 Canada Talk Suicide Service: 1-833-456-4566
📞 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S. & Canada)
📞 International Resources: findahelpline.com

Please take care of yourselves, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. 💙