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“…And da Vinci said I like to fuuuuuuuu….function as a one-stop art shop.” It’s our Season 2 finale - extra-sized to keep you satiated through the rest of the summer - and we’re sending it off with a Molotov bang, a brushstroke of burnt umber, and a head tilt sharp enough to open an envelope.

In this episode, we allow you to escape the way only Oklahomans can—through a dumb, understaffed county jail and an open-door policy that would shock even the Kool-Aid Man. We meet a murderous couple in New Jersey who took sibling rivalry to a whole new level, then visit fair Florence, Italy and hang out with a genius. From there, we ride Stack’s coat tails to Rhode Island, where a missing wife and a husband with a thesaurus leave us with more questions than answers. And to round it out, we uncover a furry browed scam artist in Florida who steals from the government at a dry tortoise’s pace. So come and UNALIVE your boredom with Zach and Stephanie on ZACHSOLVED MYSTERIES!

See you in the fall for Season 3 (unless we fake our deaths first...) And hey, if you miss us, we’re not really gone—join our Patreon for our Summer of Mortality series! We’ll be dropping fresh chaos all summer long over there, even while the main feed is on vacation.

💙 Mental Health Matters 💙

It’s okay to not be okay. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and help is available.

📞 U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988
📞 Canada Talk Suicide Service: 1-833-456-4566
📞 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S. & Canada)
📞 International Resources: findahelpline.com

Please take care of yourselves, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. 💙

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This week, we go digging for the truth—and end up unearthing royalty, Rasputin, and a surprisingly efficient storage hack.

First, a woman with no name—and plenty of scars—emerges from a German asylum claiming a past that might be tragic, imperial, or both. Then, a small-town sheriff learns the hard way that holiday spirit doesn’t mix well with foster system red tape. And finally, a criminal mastermind introduces a space-saving solution so bold, you’ll never look at dust bunnies the same way again.

Plus, ZSM Theatre returns with daytime talk show DNA tests, disembodied mystics, and a Real Housewives-style vodka launch that ends in blood, glass, and at least one misplaced weave.

Mystery, mayhem, and multiple identities—because the only thing harder than proving who you are is convincing everyone you're not someone else.

💙 Mental Health Matters 💙

It’s okay to not be okay. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and help is available.

📞 U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988
📞 Canada Talk Suicide Service: 1-833-456-4566
📞 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S. & Canada)
📞 International Resources: findahelpline.com

Please take care of yourselves, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. 💙

Send us a text

This week, we go vertical.

Zach and Stephanie scale the suspicious scaffolding of Unsolved Mysteries: The Netflix Reboot, kicking off with a case so absurd, it could’ve been sponsored by OtterBox and the Freemasons. We’re talking flip-flops, physics, and a suicide theory that collapses under the weight of basic physics.

Plus:
- ZSM Theatre returns with law enforcement dumbassery, legal loophole Olympics, and a maintenance worker who moonlights in “alterations”.
- Stephanie unveils a few eyebrow-raising facts Netflix left out.
- Zach debunks gravity. Emotionally.

Don’t miss it—unless you’re too busy trying to figure out how a cell phone survived a fatal plunge unscathed. In that case… you might already be part of the legal team.

💙 Mental Health Matters 💙

It’s okay to not be okay. If you’re struggling, you’re not alone, and help is available.

📞 U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988
📞 Canada Talk Suicide Service: 1-833-456-4566
📞 Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (U.S. & Canada)
📞 International Resources: findahelpline.com

Please take care of yourselves, and if you need support, don’t hesitate to reach out. 💙