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Join me and editor extraordinaire Lilly Dancyger for this summer rewind episode where we discuss her latest book, First Love, an intimate, electric collection of essays on friendship, identity, and what it means to grow into yourself in community. During our conversation, Lilly shares her sharp insights on the craft of memoir, why she bristles at the idea of writing as catharsis, and how she pushes back against the dead girl trope by keeping her cousin Sabina fully alive on the page. If you’ve ever wondered how to turn memory into art without falling into the trap of polishing your pain, this one’s for you.

Episode Highlights

• 3:36: The Problem of Connecting Memoir with Catharsis
• 10:12: Essays as a Space for Play and Variation
• 13:04: Showing Intimacy on the Page
• 21:12: Zooming In and Zooming Out
• 27:00: Pushing Against the Dead Girl Trope
• 33:44: Strategies for Cleansing Your Creative Palette

Resources for this Episode:

• “Canceling My Book Deal Was the Best Career Move I’ve Ever Made” by Lilly Dancyger
• “Why Your Memoir Won’t Sell” by Jane Friedman
• More Than True Crime with Sarah Perry
• Sign up for Find and Sharpen Your Memoir’s Voice
• Get Your Free Human Design Report
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now

Lilly’s Bio: Lilly Dancyger is the author of First Love: Essays on Friendship, and Negative Space. Her work has been published by The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Playboy, and Rolling Stone, among others, and she writes the Substack newsletter The Word Cave. Dancyger lives in New York City, and teaches creative nonfiction in the MFA programs at Columbia University and Randolph College.

Connect with Lilly:

• Website: https://www.lillydancyger.com/
• Substack: https://substack.com/@lillydancyger
• Blue Sky: @lillydancyger.bsky.social
• Instagram: @lillydancyger on instagram

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Write More, Fret Less: https://lisacooperellison.com/newsletter-subscribe/
Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/

Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
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Produced by Espresso Podcast Production

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Have you been told you’re a people pleaser or found yourself saying yes when you meant no, without even thinking about it? Have a friend who struggles to express their feelings or share their preferences? If so, you might have encountered the fawning trauma response. Join me and Ingrid Clayton, author of Fawning the memoir Believing me, for this summer rewind episode where we unpack the misconceptions regarding this trauma response, share our experience strength and hope, and show you how to join the unfawning revolution she’s spearheading with her new book.

Episode Highlights

• 1:30: The Fawning Trauma Response
• 5:51: The Problem of Co-dependence
• 10:04: Complex Trauma’s Impact on Our Nervous Systems
• 12:50: Fawning’s Influence on Writing
• 22:29: The Energetic Signature of Your Book
• 28:45: The Unfawning Process
• 43:45: The Role of Tears

Resources for this Episode:

• What is the Fawning Trauma Response by Ingrid Clayton
• How to Stop Gaslighting Yourself with Ingrid Clayton
• Believing Me by Ingrid Clayton
• Get Your Free Human Design Report
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now

Ingrid’s Bio: Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a Master’s degree in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. She has maintained a thriving private practice in Los Angeles for over seventeen years, supporting individuals in healing trauma, reclaiming agency, and reconnecting to their authentic selves. She's the author of Fawning and Believing Me. Her work has been featured in Oprah Daily, The New York Times, Women’s Health, and Forbes, and she has appeared on podcasts and programs including 10% Happier with Dan Harris, Girls Gotta Eat, and NPR’s On Point with Meghna Chakrabarti. Her latest book, Fawning, addresses an often-overlooked piece of the fight-flight-freeze reaction to trauma—explaining what it is, why it happens, and how to help survivors regain their voice and sense of self.

Connect with Ingrid:

• Website: https://www.ingridclayton.com/
• Instagram and YouTube: @IngridClaytonPhD
• Get a free copy of her PDF on the fawning response: https://www.ingridclayton.com/fawningtraumaresponse

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/


Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn

Produced by Espresso Podcast Production

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How do you define loneliness? How did the pandemic impact the way that you define and experienced it? What does success look like for you? What is one positive association you have with being alone? These are just a few of the questions Athena and I explore in this summer rewind episode that tackles the multiple facets of loneliness, how to decide what is for you and what is for the public, and how to create your own definition of success.

Episode Highlights

• 4:00 The Problem of Loneliness
• 8:00 Establishing Intimacy Between Reader and Writer
• 11:00 The Skills of Being Honest
• 16:00 Finding the Vessel for Your Story
• 20:00 Defining Success for Yourself
• 27:00 Digital Loneliness
• 35:49 Intentional Isolation
• 42:00 Loneliness and Hyper-independence

Resources for this Episode:

• Cherry Picking Pleasure by Athena Dixon (part of her column in Open Secrets Magazine)
• The Incredible Shrinking Woman by Athena Dixon
• Get Your Free Human Design Report
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now

Athena’s Bio: Born and raised in Northeast Ohio, Athena Dixon is an essayist and editor. She is the author of The Loneliness Files (Tin House), The Incredible Shrinking Woman (Split/Lip Press) and No God In This Room (Argus House Press). Her work also appears in The BreakBeat Poets Vol. 2: Black Girl Magic (Haymarket Books) and Getting to the Truth: The Practice and Craft of Creative Nonfiction (Hippocampus Book). She writes the monthly column Radical Pleasure for Open Secrets Magazine. Athena is an alumni of V.O.N.A., Callaloo, and Tin House and has received a prose fellowship from The Martha’s Vineyard Institute of Creative Writing and a Second Book Residency from Tin House. She serves as the Nonfiction Editor for Split/Lip Press and a Consulting Editor for Fourth Genre Magazine.

Connect with Athena

• Website: https://athenadixon.com/
• Instagram: @the_muse_paper
• Facebook: @AthenaDevonDixon

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/


Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn

Produced by Espresso Podcast Production

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In this summer rewind episode, we revisit my conversation with Courtney Maum, author of Alan Opts Out, Before and After the Book Deal, and The Year of Horses. During our chat, we discuss writer mental health, the key ingredients in an author brand, what success really means and how you can achieve it, as well as the number one skill all authors need to cultivate.

Episode Highlights

• 3:00 The Importance of Protecting Your Mental Health
• 6:45 The True Measure of Success
• 15:00 Understanding Your Yesses and Nos
• 19:50 Building Brand Assets for Your Author Platform
• 28:50 Navigating the Realities of the Publishing Industry
• 42:00 The Impact of Health Challenges on Our Identity
• 60:00 Having Faith in Yourself

Resources for this Episode:

• Buy Alan Opts Out
• Making Art Inside Delicious Darkness
• Last Night an ENT Saved My Life
• Exploring the Loneliness Epidemic with Athena Dixon
• How to Stop Gaslighting Yourself with Ingrid Clayton
• Get Your Free Human Design Report
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now

Courtney’s Bio: Courtney is the author of six books, including ALAN OPTS OUT, the groundbreaking publishing guide that Vanity Fair recently named one of the ten best books for writers, BEFORE AND AFTER THE BOOK DEAL and the memoir THE YEAR OF THE HORSES, chosen by The Today Show as the best read for mental health awareness. A writing coach, director of the writing workshop “Turning Points,” and educator, Courtney's mission is to help people hold on to the joy of art-making in a culture obsessed with turning artists into brands. Passionate about literary citizenship, Courtney sits on the advisory councils of The Authors Guild and The Rumpus and runs a bestselling Substack on publishing conundrums. You can sign up for her weekly newsletter and online masterclasses at CourtneyMaum.com

Connect with Courntey:
Website: courtneymaum.com
Substack:https://substack.com/@courtneymaum
Instagram: @cbmaum

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/


Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn

Produced by Espresso Podcast Production

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In this summer rewind episode, we revisit my conversation with writing instructor and author of The Courage to Heal, Laura Davis. During this episode, Laura and I discuss the healing power of writing, the difference between writing to heal and writing for a public audience, and the challenges Laura faced while writing her memoir, The Burning Light of Two Stars.

Episode Highlights

• 8:25 Dealing with the Emotional Rigors of Memoir Writing
• 12:45: Writing to Heal
• 21:00 Writing for Yourself versus an Audience
• 34:45 Beginning Your Book
• 46:50 Structuring Your Book and Including Primary Resources

Resources for this Episode:

• Free Ebook: Writing Toward Courage: A 30-Day Practice.
• Get Your Free Human Design Report
• Ditch Your Inner Critic Now

Laura’s Bio: Laura Davis is the author of The Burning Light of Two Stars, The Courage to Heal, and five other groundbreaking books. In addition to writing books that inspire, the work of Laura’s heart is to teach. For more than twenty-five years, she’s helped people find their voices, tell their stories, and hone their craft. Laura has been published in Publisher's Weekly, Writer's Digest, CrimeReads, Brevity, and The New York Times, featured in Los Angeles Review of Books, and on QWERTY, Write-Minded, The Only One in the Room, and dozens of other podcasts. She's a featured speaker for The National Association of Memoir Writers and a popular teacher at The San Miguel Writers’ Conference and at Esalen in Big Sur. Learn about her workshops, classes, and international retreats, and read the first five chapters of her memoir at www.lauradavis.net.

Connect with Laura

• Website: www.lauradavis.net
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurasaridavis
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewritersjourney

Connect with your host, Lisa:

Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/

Website: https://lisacooperellison.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisacooperellison/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UColPDzpoQlVktIv7-f7ObRg

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisacooperellison/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cooper-ellison-b5483840/

Produced by Espresso Podcast Production: https://www.espressopodcastproduction.com

Building Better Memoir Scenes: https://janefriedman.com/building-better-memoir-scenes-with-lisa-cooper-ellison/

Connect with your host, Lisa:
Get Your Free Copy of Ditch Your Inner Critic: https://lisacooperellison.com/subscribe/
Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn

Produced by Espresso Podcast Production