Well... it finally happened.

After 137 episodes, Jacob disappeared.

No, he didn't die.

No, he didn't get abducted by aliens.

And despite what Brad claimed, he didn't punch Brad in the face over Joker 2... although listeners aren't ruling it out.

Enter Mark.

Brad claims he searched the globe for a new co-host. We assume that means he Googled "guy willing to watch terrible movies for free" and somehow Mark answered.

Within the first ten minutes, Mark had already:

• Been insulted by Jacob in the live chat.
• Learned Brad's nickname is "Baby Hands."
• Been introduced to MTD, who apparently trained Jason Voorhees... according to absolutely no verified historical records.

Then they actually tried talking about Little Brother...

...for about six minutes.

After that the episode somehow became:

• A Tom Hanks career retrospective.
• A Star Wars debate.
• A discussion about hologram concerts.
• Brad's traumatic Cast Away date where his date narrated the entire movie to the theater.
• Mark Wahlberg somehow getting cast in a movie he wasn't even in.
• And a serious investigation into whether John Cena accepted the role without reading the script.

Meanwhile, the actual movie sat quietly in the corner wondering if anyone remembered it existed.

The best part?

Mark fit in immediately. By the end of the episode he was already roasting the movie, questioning Netflix's budget, and politely wondering how they had spent nearly 35 minutes talking about literally everything except Little Brother. That's when you know he's officially part of Movie Torture.

MTD was at the beach.

Jacob turned 91.

And somehow that combination led to a discussion about Chris Hansen, suspicious party guests carrying cookies, and why Facebook Marketplace might be the most dangerous place on the internet.

Before they even mentioned the movie, Brad unloaded weeks of Marketplace trauma.

One guy negotiated the price...

...only to announce he was already on his way to buy someone else's bike.

Another promised to show up Saturday morning, completely disappeared, read Brad's messages hours later, and never replied.

Then there was the 3 a.m. message from a woman who wanted an e-bike delivered halfway across the state because her boyfriend would meet him there.

At that point, Brad was convinced every Marketplace sale ends with either getting ghosted or getting kidnapped.

Mark didn't exactly disagree.

The two spent several minutes wondering why basic human communication seems to disappear the moment someone opens Facebook Marketplace. They even pitched an entire bonus episode devoted to reading ridiculous Marketplace messages because, frankly, they write themselves.

Eventually they remembered they were supposed to review Obsession.

The movie follows Bear, a painfully awkward guy who's too afraid to ask Nikki out, so instead he buys a magical "One Wish Willow" from the creepiest crystal shop imaginable.

Rather than wishing for confidence...

...or money...

...or unlimited wishes...

...he wishes Nikki will love him more than anything else in the world.

As expected, that turns out to be one of the worst decisions in horror movie history.

Brad couldn't understand why Bear was so terrified to ask her out in the first place. Nikki practically hands him the opportunity on a silver platter, asking if he likes her while they're sitting alone in the car.

Instead...

...he freezes.

Then immediately cracks open the magical wish stick.

Problem solved.

Sort of.

The guys loved the creepy crystal shop, especially the employee who looked less like a cashier and more like someone who escaped from another dimension.

Brad's theory?

The store isn't actually a store at all.

It's basically hell with retail hours.

Neither of them could figure out how a company selling cursed wishing sticks hasn't been sued into oblivion.

Somehow the business just keeps operating.

From there, the conversation wandered completely off the rails.

William Baldwin was declared the greatest Baldwin because he got Sharon Stone and Cindy Crawford in consecutive movies.

Russell Crowe was accused of eating Russell Crowe.

They reminisced about AOL discs, Prodigy internet, Pizza Hut's Back to the Future Part II glasses, and enough forgotten '90s thrillers to fill several future episodes.

At one point they honestly seemed to forget Obsession existed.

Then someone remembered.

Barely.

When they finally returned to the movie, both hosts agreed it delivered exactly what horror fans have been missing: an original premise, genuine creepiness, and a villain who creates his own nightmare because he refuses to have one uncomfortable conversation.

Not bad for a movie that cost less than most Hollywood catering budgets.

MTD returned from the beach, Mark came back for another week of bad movies, and within five minutes the movie review had somehow become a pitch meeting for reality television. Brad introduced Life Stinks, where rich people have to survive homeless for 30 days, before Mark improved it with Life Swap, where a guy from rural Nebraska gets dropped into New York City while a city slicker gets sent to a farm and spends the next month being called "City Boy." Honestly, the guys may have accidentally come up with a better idea than the movie they were reviewing.

Eventually they remembered they were supposed to talk about Backrooms. Brad's one-minute synopsis somehow made more sense than the actual movie. A struggling furniture salesman discovers mysterious endless hallways beneath his failing store, tells his psychiatrist about them, brings his coworkers inside, everyone starts disappearing, and somehow the psychiatrist decides that's enough evidence to go exploring herself. Sure... why not?

The biggest surprise of the episode wasn't the movie—it was Mark. He admitted he genuinely loved the first hour of Backrooms, while Brad looked at him like he'd just nominated Madame Web for Best Picture. The debate lasted most of the episode, with Mark defending the atmosphere and Brad insisting the movie forgot one tiny detail... explaining literally anything.

The one thing everyone agreed on was that the real star wasn't the furniture salesman or the psychiatrist—it was the backrooms themselves. Endless yellow hallways, buzzing fluorescent lights, abandoned office furniture, and that unsettling feeling of being somewhere you definitely shouldn't be. Brad even admitted the creepiest place he'd ever worked wasn't a haunted house—it was helping his girlfriend at Bath & Body Works after the mall closed. Apparently empty shopping malls at night are nightmare fuel all by themselves.

As they broke down the movie, the questions just kept piling up. Why is Clark sleeping on mattresses he's supposed to sell? Who wants to buy a bed that's doubled as a grown man's apartment? How is this furniture store still in business when no customers ever appear? And who's paying the electric bill for an underground maze with enough fluorescent lights to power a small city?

Naturally, none of those questions stayed on topic for long. Somehow the conversation turned into Brad explaining that if he ever lost an arm, he wouldn't want a modern prosthetic—he'd want a full Captain Hook hook. Not because it would be practical, but because people would remember him as "the hook-hand guy." By the end of the conversation they were designing interchangeable hook attachments like they were building the Swiss Army Knife of pirate hands.

Then the movie paused so the guys could discuss psychiatry. Brad decided he'd make an awful therapist because he'd spend sessions doodling his autograph instead of listening. He also admitted he'd constantly want to tell Mark about the bizarre patients he'd seen that day, which is probably why becoming a psychiatrist was never in the cards.

Ironically, the movie finally became its strongest once everyone entered the backrooms together. The found-footage scenes were genuinely creepy, the atmosphere worked, and both Brad and Mark were convinced the movie was about to take off. Instead, it introduced more mysteries than answers. Who was the figure lurking in the halls? What exactly are the backrooms? Why do they exist? The answer, apparently, is that you're supposed to watch the YouTube series first.

By the end of the episode, the biggest mystery wasn't Backrooms. It was how a movie can make hundreds of millions of dollars while still leaving Brad convinced that the scariest thing in the entire film was buying a mattress that Clark had been sleeping—and farting—on for months.