David and I began building oilfield heat exchangers in a heavy steel fabrication shop in Oklahoma when we were 14 years old. We were universally known as, “them schoolboys.”

Steel shops are notoriously noisy, but when we heard “Schooolboy!” ring out above the cacophony of hammers and grinders, we would swivel our heads toward the sound and begin walking toward whomever was looking at us.

“Hard, dirty and dangerous” describes the work and the men we worked with.

To call them “drunks, deviants, and derelicts” would certainly be less kind, but no less accurate.

There were also 8 or 9 solid family men, most of whom were foremen and supervisors.

The oil coolers we built were the size of a two-car garage. And several times a day these metal monsters would be lifted 5 or 6 feet off the ground by an overhead crane and go swinging through the air to another part of the shop as far as 300 feet away.

Heavy steel flying through the air is entirely unforgiving. One of my responsibilities was to drive injured guys to the hospital. But few of my bloody passengers were injured in accidents. Most of them were injured in fistfights with coworkers.

When we were both 16, David and I were joined by a boy named Jay. Dark hair, dark eyes, and skin that was decidedly not English, Irish, Scottish, or German. We liked him immediately.

David put a quarter into the machine and yanked a Pepsi from its mechanical jaws. He handed it to Jay and asked, “Are you some kind of Puerto Rikkan or something?”

Jay scowled and said, “No, I ain’t no dang Rikkan.”

David smiled, clicked his Pepsi bottle against the one that Jay was holding, took a long drink, then said, “It’s good to meet you, Rikkan.”

We found out later that Jay was Italian, but his name was Rikkan from that day forward.

A few days later, Rikkan began calling David “Cliff” and my name somehow became “Dean.” Rikkan never told us why he chose those names, but he refused to call us anything else, so David and I fell into line. I began calling him Cliff and he began calling me Dean.

Jay, David and Roy became Rikkan, Cliff and Dean for the next 3 years. Utterly absurd, but completely true.

Devin Wright has a sparkling laugh and I’ve always enjoyed hearing it.

So when Devin began working with me 20 years ago, I would walk into his office each afternoon and ask a ridiculous question. Devin would laugh his sparkling laugh and I would walk away smiling.

One day I popped my head into his office and looked at him quizzically, as though I was confused. He looked back at me, equally puzzled. With a completely straight face, I asked “Did you get a spray tan?”

For once, Devin didn’t laugh. He vigorously denied it, utterly aghast that I would ever think that he was so vain and shallow that he would ever stoop to such a ridiculous…

I quit listening after that.

So now you know how “Spraytan” was born.

Jacob Harrison became “Boxwine” in a similar fashion,

Dave Cullen became “Skunkmeat”

Howard Wolowitz became “Fruit Loops”

George Costanza became “KoKo”

and Jeffrey Eisenberg became “Jet.”

No, “Jet” is not a reduction of Jeffrey.

When we agreed to meet for lunch last week, Jeffrey suggested by text that we meet at 1300 hours.

I texted him back, “I never knew that you were in the Air Force. Did you fly fighter jets?”

If all of this sounds lowbrow, redneck, hick, uncultured, ill-refined, outmoded, outdated, dinosaur-ish and in poor taste, I agree.

But no one can spend 4 impressionable years working with drunks, deviants, and derelicts and walk away without at least one bad habit.

Roy H. Williams

Dean Rotbart is taking a short Sabbatical from Monday Morning Radio for the next few weeks to travel across America gathering detailed...

Before you borrow cash from a friend, decide which one you need most.

Never tell a person that their child is ugly. Every child is the trigger on the gun of their parent’s rage.

If you say, “I am only speaking the truth,” you can be sure that the child’s parent will just as truthfully amputate you from their life and throw shade at the memory of your name forever.

“The Proper Priorities of Government” is a beautiful child that lives in the brain of every citizen. And that child is uniquely their own.

Do you remember what I told you about children?

AI is the newest baby in every family.

I am a writer. My words are my children. If you tell me that your AI can replace me as a writer, I will know you to be a fool and a tragic waste of oxygen and skin.

Can AI write better than you? If your words are not bone of your bone, blood of your blood, and flesh of your flesh, then yes, it probably can.

When I began production on the “Great Writers Series,” I sent several of my friends a few of the AI-produced performances of the 8,000 grand passages of literature that I have laboriously transcribed from books over the past 50 years.

When I sent those music-enhanced performances, I pulled the triggers on the guns that are carried by all of the musicians in my life.

Shortly after being riddled with bullets,

I received this text from Ryan Deiss on December 26, 2025, at 7:24AM:

Paul Graham on why you shouldn’t write with Al:

“In preindustrial times most people’s jobs made them strong. Now if you want to be strong, you work out. So there are still strong people, but only those who choose to be. It will be the same with writing. There will still be smart people, but only those who choose to be.”

This was my reply to Ryan’s text:

“Everyone loves AI to do the things they hate, but they hate AI when it does the things they love. I am no different. I think AI is dangerous and stupid and evil when it replaces writers. But I use it enthusiastically to make musical productions instantly possible. I would otherwise have had to spend many months and hundreds of thousands of dollars to create with musicians what I can create with Suno.com in a day. Musicians are well within their rights to resent me and be disgusted with me when I use AI to replace them.”

The Great Writers Series will continue because it is important to me.

If you click the image at the top of this page, you will see another clickable image. Below that clickable image is one of the first Youtube shorts – formatted for your phone – that I will be uploading once a day for as long as I am able to do so.

If you click that performance and enjoy it, and would like to receive a new one each day, you can click through to Youtube and subscribe.

If you do not like the performance, that’s 100% okay as long as you don’t tell me about it.

All of my children are beautiful, almost as beautiful as yours.

Roy H....

1. Equity

I’m not sure how Google would define “equity,” but my definition of equity is “stored value.”

As a homeowner, you understand home equity as the stored value that it offers you.

Your equity in your home is a product of all the time, energy, and money that you have put into it, plus the value that has been added by the passage of time.

Relational equity is accumulated in the same way.

“What have we invested in each other? What have we endured? How many years have we traveled through life together?”

Relational equity is why we tolerate annoyances and troubles from the people we love. They have added value to our lives, so they have relational equity in us.

Likewise, customer-bonding ads create relational equity between today’s businesses and tomorrow’s customers. They do this by highlighting shared perspectives, beliefs, and values.

Customer-bonding ads communicate authenticity, and vulnerability. And they are always there, 52 weeks a year. Authenticity, vulnerability, and the passage of time are not easy to fake or accelerate.

Keep those things in mind as you read on.

2. AI

Eighty-seven Wizards of Ads who stay in regular touch with nearly 1,000 businesses are a reliable finger on the pulse of what is happening.

This is what is happening:

Google Search results have been altered in a dramatic and unexpected way. Some companies have benefited greatly from Google’s new methodology while other companies have been devastated by it.

You’ll understand what separates the winners from the losers in just a moment.

With 6,000 employees, Edelman is the world’s largest PR agency. They help companies worldwide manage their reputations and trust through stories published in mass media.

Edelman has been doing what they do since 1952.

On October 27, 2025, Christmas decorations were vibrating in anticipation of replacing Halloween decor when Brent Nelson – Chief Strategy Officer at Edelman – was quoted in Ad Age magazine.

Explaining why Google dramatically expanded their results-ranking criteria, Nelson said,

“What drives visibility isn’t your ad budget or keyword bids; it’s earned media. Analysis shows that 90% of what appears in AI summaries is ‘earned-driven’—pulled from reviews, press, blogs, forums and cultural chatter. Paid now plays a different role, amplifying what’s already there.”

“The new shelf space isn’t a store; it’s the AI summary. Brands need to understand their earned footprint across AI-generated answers.”

“Who gets cited? Who’s trusted? Who’s missing? That’s the new baseline of visibility.”

In other words, Google is now rewarding Relational Equity.

3. A Prediction

Hundreds of new companies are about to leap into the Public Relations business. Their goal will be to get their clients mentioned in online press, blogs, forums and cultural chatter.

PR is an easy business to get into. It won’t be long before you are approached by someone who has a PR solution to help you improve your AEO (Ask Engine Optimization).

If you remember any of today’s Monday Morning Memo, let it be this:

“If you don’t have anything interesting to say, don’t let anyone convince you to pay money to say it.”

Company slogans, mush-mouth clichés and traditional ad-speak are not going to move the needle.

Every month or two, you are going to need something new, exciting, different, and entirely real to say.

4. A Suggestion

Radio stations would be smart to start a daily or weekly blog that is fun, quick, entertaining, easy-to-read, and full of valuable things that every consumer would want to know about.

If I owned a station in Austin, I would call my blog “Cool Things Austin Needs to Know”

If my blog was well written