In Episode 31 of Wit + Grit, we are joined by BBC comedy writer James Cary - the man behind episodes of Miranda, Citizen Khan, My Family and Bluestone 42.

But this conversation goes well beyond sitcoms.

James opens up about the constant rejection that comes with writing, even when you’re “successful”, what working in comedy has taught him about teams, why authenticity matters more than trying to be funny, and how character often counts for more than qualifications.

There’s also brilliant insight on leadership, AI, creativity, criticism, resilience, and why young people need to get better at looking people in the eye.

Funny, thoughtful and surprisingly practical, this is a conversation about writing, work, identity and the grit it takes to keep showing up.

Key takeaways

Rejection never really stops.

Failure is not just possible - it’s essential.

You want to find out what doesn’t work early, not when it’s too late.

Be interested in the thing, not yourself.

Your limitations can become your strengths.

Humour is high risk, but authenticity isn’t.

Teams work best when people care about different things.

Different motivations can be a strength, not a weakness.

AI is a tool, not a brain.

Character matters more than credentials.

Keywords

James Cary, BBC comedy writer, Miranda writer, Citizen Khan writer, My Family, Bluestone 42, sitcom writing, rejection, resilience, humour, leadership, teams, authenticity, AI and creativity, storytelling, critical thinking, character, human skills, communication, writing career, comedy writer podcast, Wit and Grit podcast

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to James Carey

00:48 The Journey into Comedy Writing

02:16 Pathways into Comedy and Early Experiences

04:36 The Role of Management Consultants in Comedy

07:10 The Intersection of Theology and Comedy

10:03 The Stand-Up Theologian

10:35 Writing and Team Dynamics in Comedy

13:10 Problem Solving on Set

15:57 Navigating Egos in the Creative Process

19:59 The Importance of Writing in Today's World

21:21 The Impact of Literature on Young Minds

22:48 The Challenges of Writing and Education

25:15 Embracing Failure in Creative Pursuits

28:20 The Role of Humor in Leadership

32:57 Navigating AI in Creative Processes

35:58 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

38:47 Character Over Qualifications in Success

What happens when you’re trying to perform at work while also being a present, patient and emotionally available parent at home?

In Episode 30, we sit down with Natalie Costa to explore emotional fitness in families, schools and workplaces. Natalie shares her mission to help raise a generation of connected humans by supporting the adults around them - parents, teachers and leaders alike.

From childhood anxiety and classroom breakthroughs to parental guilt, emotional regulation and the pressure modern families face, this is a thoughtful, practical and deeply human conversation about what children really need, what parents are carrying, and how workplaces can better support the people raising the next generation.

It’s an episode about pressure, repair, resilience and the courage to stay steady when life feels anything but.

1. Emotional fitness in children and adults
2. Parenting under pressure
3. Childhood anxiety and self-belief
4. Neuroplasticity and changing old patterns
5. Parent guilt and the “mental load”
6. Why connection matters more than ever
7. How leaders can better support working parents

1. Children need adults to be their substitute prefrontal cortex
2. There is only room for one adult in the parent-child relationship
3. You can’t parent perfectly, but you can repair
4. Emotional regulation is a skill, not a personality trait
5. Neuroplasticity means we can build new emotional habits at any age
6. Modern parenting is harder because many families are raising children without a village
7. Connection with children often starts by taking an interest in their world
8. Great leadership at work starts with seeing the human behind the behaviour
9. Supporting parents at work is not a perk — it’s a culture and performance issue

1. “We are more connected than ever before, but more emotionally disconnected than ever before.”
2. “We need to support the people raising the next generation.”
3. “There’s only space for one adult in the relationship — and it’s not your child.”
4. “You can’t get it wrong if you are repairing and taking ownership.”
5. “Neuroplasticity is the muscle of our mind.”
6. “What are the keys to your kid’s kingdom?”
7. “Connect before you correct.”
8. “We’re all big kids walking around trying to run companies.”
9. “A lot of guilt is really just being pulled between things we value.”

1. 00:00 – Welcome to Episode 30
2. 00:57 – Natalie’s mission: raising connected humans
3. 02:34 – From teaching to emotional fitness
4. 06:16 – The classroom moment that changed everything
5. 09:16 – Teaching kids what to do with big feelings
6. 14:17 – Why the work has to include parents
7. 17:25 – Old stories, childhood beliefs and change
8. 21:46 – What neuroplasticity actually means
9. 25:35 – Is it harder than ever to be a parent?
10. 27:52 – Simple ways to reconnect with your kids
11. 31:31 – What workplace support for parents should look like
12. 35:58 – Does the work start with children or adults?
13. 40:22 – Emotional fitness and sitting with discomfort
14. 45:14 – What to do at 2am when your mind won’t stop
15. 48:06 – Progressive leadership for working parents
16. 51:16 – Final takeaways

After 28 episodes, a live event, and a growing Wit + Grit community, we sit down for a proper catch-up.

This one is honest, reflective and full of the stuff that sits behind the scenes - what we’ve learned, what’s surprised us, what we’re building, and why Wit + Grit is starting to feel like something much bigger than a podcast.

We talk about opportunity, identity, grief, ambition, structure, startup energy, and the importance of creating real conversations in a noisy world.

If you’ve ever started something, doubted yourself, or wondered whether to just press go, this one’s for you. Bring it on.

Key Takeaways

Press go first, learn later.

Opportunity changes everything.

You don’t need all the answers to start.

Identity matters.

Human connection is becoming more valuable, not less.

Structure matters when things start working.

Community compounds.

Success looks different now.

Keywords

Wit and Grit, PJ Ellis, Andy Dawson, Birmingham podcast, business podcast UK, human skills, opportunity, personal growth, startup journey, live testing, podcast alumni, community building, leadership, resilience, identity, grief, ambition, entrepreneurship, confidence, AI and identity, young people, future of work, Birmingham business, talent pipeline, real conversations

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Peaky Blinders Premiere

02:44 The Growth of the Podcast and Its Impact

05:21 Personal Journeys and Backgrounds

07:49 Lessons Learned and Insights from the Podcast

10:13 Opportunities and Future Directions

12:51 The Importance of Structure and Discipline

15:31 Looking Ahead: Technology and Growth

18:26 Ambition and Growth in Podcasting

20:32 Creating Opportunities for Young People

22:08 Navigating Challenges in Today's World

24:33 The Impact of Technology on Youth

27:42 Finding Balance in a Chaotic World

31:18 Measuring Success and Impact