⚠️ WARNING: This episode contains survival plans, domesticated seagulls, Quidditch recruitment, and dangerously high levels of nostalgia.

With Rea and Trist preparing to return to Botswana, what starts as a conversation about heading back to the bush quickly turns into an unexpectedly emotional farewell to years spent living, filming and occasionally losing their minds together in the Okavango.

The boys debate who would survive longest if abandoned in the wilderness, why Greg would be completely insufferable on a survival expedition, and whether Producer Mark is secretly the strongest member of the team.

Elsewhere, there’s flooded deltas, barefoot living, kebabs, Biscoff, Bristol street photography, Britain’s thriving Quidditch scene, and a serious proposal that Greg should solve his friendship problems by acquiring a domesticated seagull.

Plus: the reality of breaking into wildlife filmmaking, spending months waiting for a two-minute animal sequence, becoming emotionally attached to lions and leopards, and why the wild eventually stops feeling like work and starts feeling like home.

⚠️ WARNING: Wildly Off Track cannot confirm whether you would be able to identify your other half using only your sense of smell. Scientific testing is ongoing.

This week the boys discuss wildlife filmmaking, dream predator-prey sequences, and the bizarre realities of spending your life behind a camera.

Greg reveals how he once spent 19 days staring at a bird’s nest waiting for eggs to hatch, Rea explains why he thinks African wild dogs need a complete marketing rebrand, and Tristan attempts to work out what exactly a pack of 54 wild dogs is capable of hunting.

Along the way there’s warthogs chasing children, foxes in British back gardens, golden eagles carrying off unsuspecting victims, leopards tackling giraffes and a surprisingly serious debate about whether humans can recognise each other by scent alone.

Plus: wildlife conspiracies, hide work, conservation marketing, and further proof that wildlife cameramen will argue about absolutely anything if left unsupervised for long enough.

⚠️ WARNING: The bear-to-hat conversion rates discussed in this episode have not been independently verified.

Greg returns from London fascinated by Buckingham Palace, confused by royal traditions, and convinced that one bear could probably produce three ceremonial hats.

Things don’t improve from there.

The boys discuss Scotland’s national unicorn, UFOs over the Okavango Delta, tourists accidentally wandering through lion territory, and why a highly anticipated pangolin sighting turned out to be something considerably less exciting.

There’s also a safari guide who removed his shoes in preparation for a buffalo attack, mysterious floating lights in the African sky, tracking mistakes that sent vehicles across entire concessions, and Greg’s admission that he once spent over a kilometre pursuing a predator that was actually a planet.

Plus: wildlife conspiracies, professional bullshitters, Starlink satellites, celebrity Traitors strategies, and a reminder that confidence and competence are not always the same thing.