Some conversations take time to find their moment. This one was recorded in Mazunte, México in January 2023, just over three years ago now, waiting for the right container to release it into.

Andy and I were housemates on the Oaxacan coast. We'd wake up, walk to morning meditations at a local centre, drift down to the beach, cook together, and marvel at the plants and wildlife around our tropical setting. It was one of those rare pockets of life where everything seemed to slow down just enough to actually feel it.

Andy Vantrease is a writer, storyteller, and women's coach who has spent nearly two decades honing a craft that, on the surface, looks like writing or interviewing, but underneath is really about creating the conditions for people to be truly heard. From freelance journalism to producing the Dandelion Effect Podcast at Feathered Pipe Ranch in Montana, to one-on-one story mapping sessions, to facilitating circles for nurses in California, her work kept finding new forms while staying rooted in the same thread: helping people see their own magic. Since we recorded that conversation, Andy’s path has taken another turn. She now works specifically with women, educating on menstrual health, cycle wisdom and female body literacy. She is a student of the Blood Mysteries School and holds classes, circles and private sessions that help women come home to their bodies and understand the power of their biological design.

So while what you’ll hear is Andy as she was in early 2023, the roots of everything she's moved toward since are all here, present and growing.

We talk about what it means to build a creative livelihood without being trapped inside a label. The difference between a side gig and a calling, and the slow, unglamorous process of learning to price yourself as a whole person rather than just a finished product. The cyclic nature of life and how things, projects, relationships and chapters all want to die so something new can grow. Seva, selfless service, and why Andy isn't convinced she believes in it anymore. Through an NGO in rural Nepal where we first met, we also dove into what it taught us about reciprocity, sustainability, and the real cost of burning out in the name of devotion.

And then, near the end, I share three words from a handpainted sign I came across on a mountain road in the Indian Himalayas, while bike touring in my 30th year. Words that had been living in me for years by then, and that Andy receives with the kind of quiet recognition that tells you something has landed.

"Work is devotion."

Love you, Andy! <3

Follow Andy and her work via: https://andyvantrease.com/

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Wilderness Within (WW) is an exploration of inner worlds through shared stories and lived experiences with changemakers and visionaries whom I get to call friends. The project was birthed out of the realisation of radical it is to have such inspirational people in my life, and the interest to dive beyond the superficial and into the depths of one's devotions and motivations in life.

Follow and engage: http://wildernesswithinpod.com/ @wildernesswithinpod

WW is possible due to the ongoing financial and spiritual support of patreon supporters (https://patreon.com/subtledream) and fans like yourselves. Hat tip to Scott Hanson & Carlos Militante for the beautiful soundtrack. Gratitude. See you again.

"Living with openness isn’t easy, but it’s the only way I feel truly connected."

In this intimate, firelit conversation recorded in the oak woodlands of Mendocino, I sit down with someone who has long felt like a little sister to me - Alyson. We’ve shared many chapters over the years, from our time living and working in Nepal to weaving our own creative paths through life. What we spoke about in 2023 still holds weight today, perhaps even more so in this ever-accelerating world.

Together, we unpack themes of identity, ego, creativity, and care. Alyson reflects on growing up Filipino-American in San Jose, California, finding healing through gardening and natural dyeing, and wrestling with the writer’s journey - the guilt, the fixation, the fear. We talk candidly about the shadow side of service, and the ever-present tug between doing what we love and doing what we think will make us lovable.

This episode is a heartfelt tribute to the cycles we move through - in art, in life, in healing. It's a timestamp of where we were, and a torchlight for the path still unfolding.

Connect with Alyson on Instagram: @alysonnoele (instagram.com/alysonnoele/)

Supporter-exclusive video version of this podcast: https://patreon.com/posts/wilderness-ww-07-135769600

Wilderness Within (WW) is an exploration of inner worlds through shared stories and lived experiences with changemakers and visionaries whom I get to call friends. The project was birthed out of the realisation of radical it is to have such inspirational people in my life, and the interest to dive beyond the superficial and into the depths of one's devotions and motivations in life. Each episode is intended to be an open share and celebration of the triumphs, failures, learnings, and vulnerabilities of these wonderful humans and myself, Kai J. Lee.

Follow and engage with this journey http://wildernesswithinpod.com/ | @wildernesswithinpod

WW is possible due to the ongoing financial and spiritual support of patreon supporters (https://patreon.com/subtledream) and fans like yourselves - engaging with me and sharing the episodes with others.

Special thanks to Scott Hanson & Carlos Militante for the WW soundtrack and logo. Gratitude to so many past & present patrons - in making this dream come true!

"It’s no longer getting healthy because I should. It’s getting healthy because I’m trying to become fit for fatherhood - physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally."

In this heartfelt catch-up, I sat down with my dear friend and brother, Scott Hanson - a man whose life story reminds me (and all of us) what happens when you listen to your gut, surrender to change, and build a life of intentional service and community.

Scott and I rewinded the tape all the way back to where it began: the mountains of Nepal eight years ago, swinging hammers, sharing tea, and learning the quiet power of living and working in true community. From there, our paths kept crossing: weddings, big moves, late-night conversations, and, on this day, a milestone moment - we recorded this just after his baby shower for twins (!) in Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2023.

This episode celebrates a friendship rooted in adventure, honesty, and mutual witness; the tender power of becoming a father - and how it pushes a man to grow up again and again; Scott’s reflections on leaving behind old habits, building new ones (think: haikus); the sacred role of community, especially in the western world where isolation can feel all too normal; his commitment to raising kids in a world with more connection, care, and good mischief.

We laughed, we teared up, we time-traveled through Scott’s memories - from engineering "empty buildings" in the California Bay Area to building schools & community in Nepal, and now a family rooted in ancestral soil.

I have witnessed Scott become the man, husband, and father he had journaled about.

Look for him under Scout Rockwell on these platforms - half of the Wilderness Within soundtrack has his fingerprints all over them. And, @scout.rockwell on Insta.

Wilderness Within (WW) is an exploration of inner worlds through shared stories and lived experiences with changemakers and visionaries whom I get to call friends. The project was birthed out of the realisation of radical it is to have such inspirational people in my life, and the interest to dive beyond the superficial and into the depths of one's devotions and motivations in life. Each episode is intended to be an open share and celebration of the triumphs, failures, learnings, and vulnerabilities of these wonderful humans and myself, Kai J. Lee.

Follow and engage with this journey http://wildernesswithinpod.com/ | @wildernesswithinpod

WW is possible due to the ongoing financial and spiritual support of patreon supporters (https://patreon.com/subtledream) and fans like yourselves - engaging with me and sharing the episodes with others.

Special thanks to Scott Hanson & Carlos Militante for the WW soundtrack and logo. Gratitude to so many past & present patrons - in making this dream come true!