Why 'Just Ignore It' is Terrible Advice | Episode 42

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Why 'Just Ignore It' is Terrible Advice | Episode 42

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In the face of microaggressions and other stressors, we often encounter the well-meaning yet useless/misguided advice to "just ignore it" or "brush it off." Suppressing emotions can take a heavy toll on our mental and physical well-being. Many of us have been socialized to believe that we aren’t entitled to our emotions and that expressing vulnerability is a sign of weakness, prompting many to habitually hide their feelings. However suppressed emotions do not disappear. In this mini episode, we explore the consequences of heeding the "just ignore it" advice, revealing the importance of granting ourselves permission to feel and express emotions authentically.This episode we discuss: 🌈Microgressions as a source of chronic toxic stress🌈Useful ways to support folks coping with microaggressions🌈Managing microaggressions in a self-compassionate way 🌈Validating your experience as a self-care tool Episode Resourceswww.daliakinsey.comDecolonizing Wellness: A QTBIPOC-Centered Guide to Escape the Diet Trap, Heal Your Self-Image, and Achieve Body LiberationEpisode edited and produced by Unapologetic AmplifiedThis transcript was generated with the help of AI. Thank you to our supporting members for helping us improve accessibility and pay equitable wages for things like human transcription.Have you ever wondered why almost all the health and wellness information you see out there is so white, cis able-bodied and het? I know I have. And as a queer black registered dietitian, I gotta tell you, I'm not into it. I believe health and happiness should be accessible to everyone. That is precisely why I wrote Decolonizing Wellness: A QTBIPOC-Centered Guide to Escape the Diet Trap, Heal Your Self-Image, and Achieve Body Liberation and why I host Body Liberation for All.The road to health and happiness has a couple of extra steps for chronically stressed people, like queer folks and folks of color. But don't worry, my guests and I have got you covered. If you're ready to live the most fierce, liberated, and joyful version of your life, you are in the right place.Body Liberation for All ThemeThey might try to put you in a box, tell them that you don't accept when the world is tripping out tell them that you love yourself. Hey, Hey, smile on them. Live your life just like you like itIt’s your party negativity is not invited. For my queer folks, for my trans, people of color, let your voice be heard. Look in the mirror and say that it's time to put me first. You were born to win. Head up high with confidence. This show is for everyone. So, I thank you for tuning in. Let's go.Have you ever tried to explain the nuances of your experience of racism, sexism, homophobia, or transphobia only to hear, well, why don't you just ignore it? You know who you are, why do you pay it any mind? Are you the type of person who tells your LGBTQIA+ or BIPOC friends to just ignore hate, discrimination, and the subtle reminders they get about the hostile environment they're living in, in the office in the form of microaggressions.Have you been that person? Was that your stellar advice? Just stop talking about it because, that'll probably make it better or easier for you to manage, or less uncomfortable for me to have to keep listening to. I'm going to explain why “just ignore it” is garbage advice and what we can do in lieu of stuffing down our emotions just for them to pop up in more disturbing forms later on.So before we get into why “just ignore it” is trash advice. Let's clarify what microaggressions are. A microaggression could be defined as a statement or an action that reveals that someone has internalized bias against you. It doesn't necessarily mean that this person hates the marginalized groups that you belong to, but it does mean that they have unchecked bias, so unchecked that just.Spills on out during the business day, during regular conversations, microaggressions, while the name makes it sound like they're not that big of a deal, the consequences for the person on the receiving end of this, it is severe. If you're a person who's had that experience of having somebody say something ridiculous to you that reveals they hold one of your marginalized identities in low esteem, like for example, oh, you're so pretty for a black girl.Oh, you're so pretty for a trans woman. Oh, you're so well spoken. Hmm. What is the underlying implication in all of those statements? Well, you are surprised because you hold this negative belief that all black fem people are unattractive, that all trans women are not attractive. That. Or that people that look like me will not enunciate or be someone you feel like you can understand.You may think what you've done is given a compliment. What you've done is a backhanded, hurtful comment that actually does harm. Some people have experienced suicidal ideation after. Experiencing microaggression exposure. So the consequences, depending on the emotional state of the person you are speaking to...