As we said last time, Jesus was not afraid to tackle the tough subjects of the day in His Sermon on the Mount. After a confronting few minutes, during which he challenged his hearers to flee the perils of sexual temptation, the awkwardness for some is not yet over. Next Jesus goes full throttle against divorce.

Let’s start here, though, with the reminder that we live in an imperfect world and that God is a God of forgiveness, love, and grace. He mends broken hearts and helps us in our pain, giving wisdom in difficult decisions. Having said that, for the purposes of this devotion, the Scriptures are clear that the Lord created marriage, in Genesis chapter 2 v 22 – 24, and that He hates divorce (Mal 2: 16 NASB).

In the next part of His sermon, Jesus said, 31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Matthew 5:31-32

In Jesus’ day there were two schools of thought about divorce. Rabbi Shammai taught that divorce can only be permitted for very serious offenses. Rabbi Hillel taught that a man can divorce his wife for any reason, however ridiculous. If she burnt a meal – she’s out! If the husband prefers the looks of another woman, he can divorce his wife and marry the other!

Jesus was probably referring to the second school of thought here in the Sermon on the Mount. Notice that He is talking to men, and He emphasises how the wife becomes the victim. This is important. Jesus is challenging every man to think about what is best for his wife. To not just think about himself.

Whenever there is a relationship breakdown, whether it is just a petty argument or something as serious as seeking a divorce, the hardest thing to do is to start thinking about what is best for the other person. Perhaps there would be fewer divorces in the world if people gave the highest priority to what is best for the person they have married.

Staying with the focus on men, Paul taught that husbands must love their wives as Christ has loved the church in Ephesian 5: 25. There is no condition here. It is not ‘love their wives’, if the wives do their part. It is ‘love their wives as Christ loved the church’. Full Stop!

I once heard somebody say that marriage is not 50-50; it is 100-100. In other words, we give to our partner without conditions attached. In Jesus’s comments about divorce in the Sermon on the Mount it is easy to focus on the parts that talk about adultery and whether there are circumstances that permit divorce. I have a feeling Jesus also wants us to try looking away from self for a moment and consider what is best for the one I married.