In this episode, we tackle one of the hardest questions we can ask ourselves: what if you are the problem?

It's easy to point to the ways we've been hurt by others or by the systems we live in. But healing also asks us to look inward. We explore the difference between understanding our trauma and using it to excuse the ways we may harm others, and why accountability is an essential part of breaking cycles of violence.

This conversation is about finding the balance between compassion and responsibility, recognizing that while trauma may explain our behavior, it doesn't have to define our future.

Episode Primary Topics:

• Can trauma explain harmful behavior without excusing it?

• Nature versus nurture and the impact of intergenerational trauma

• Victimhood, accountability, and the difference between surviving and perpetuating harm

• How systems and individuals both contribute to cycles of violence

• The role of self-awareness in creating meaningful change

• Why breaking generational patterns starts with one person

Episode Practical Healing Tools:

• Practicing compassionate accountability instead of toxic shame

• Taking radical responsibility for your choices and relationships

• Repairing ruptures through honest communication

• Building self-awareness and recognizing unconscious patterns

• Healing in community rather than isolation

• Choosing growth, even when it's uncomfortable

Healing isn't just about understanding what happened to you. It's also about deciding what you'll do with it.

Whether you've been harmed, caused harm, or both, change is possible. Breaking the cycle starts with awareness, accountability, and the courage to choose something different.

If this conversation challenged you, share it with someone who's ready to have honest conversations about healing and responsibility.

So, join us each month for a new theme in our unhinged exploration of trauma, power, and what it really means to heal.

And remember, you are not the problem…unless you are.

Ways to Connect & Support:

• If you love the show, the best way to support it for free is by listening daily, leaving a review, and subscribing or following in your favorite podcast app

• Sign up for Doris’ upcoming Burnout-To-Recovery Program for Nurses – the upcoming new cohort starts September 2026

• Download Some Freebies!

• • Read the Get Better Sleep E-book from Doris: https://www.moonshinewellnesspnw.com/full-shop/p/thewinddown

  • Check Out Camille’s Self-Love Tarot Spread: https://camille-a-saunders.kit.com/selflovespread

  • Relax & Listen to Isabella’s Self-Protection & Emotional Boundaries Meditation: https://heal.risebeyondtrauma.org/

• Email us your thoughts, questions, feedback, and more at: nottheproblempod@gmail.com

Learn More About Your Podcast Hosts:

Camille A. Saunders: https://www.camilleasaunders.com/

Doris Taylor: https://www.moonshinewellnesspnw.com/

Isabella Koepf: https://risebeyondtrauma.org/