Why does libido disappear in menopause — and is it ever coming back? That's the question pelvic health physiotherapist and author Lisa Fitzpatrick hears in her clinic almost every day, and it's the one we sit with in this episode.

Lisa's been treating women's pelvic and sexual health for over three decades. But it was her own menopause — arriving at the same time her relationship ended at 51 - that led to a deep unravelling and rebirth. She talks candidly about that collision, and how it became the reason she wrote Sexy Menopause.

We get into why libido changes in midlife are rarely just about hormones. Stress, safety, old trauma, and a nervous system that's never allowed to switch off all play a part — and Lisa explains why the usual advice to "just do your Kegels" can actually make things worse, not better. We also talk about the stigma that tells women to get quieter and less visible as they age, and why menopause can bring on the exact opposite: a real, useful "couldn't care less" energy.

This episode closes with one simple daily practice Lisa recommends to any woman who feels disconnected from her body — something you can start today, with your morning tea.

Full episode guide and show notes here: https://vitopia.ai/podcast

KEY LINKS

• Lisa Fitzpatrick's website: lisafitzpatrick.com.au
• Sexy Menopause (pre-order): sexymenopause.com — out 27 October 2026
• The Energy Audit for Women 40+: https://kelly-zbqk659r.scoreapp.com/
• Work with Kelly: kellynicholls.com
• Kelly on Instagram: @kellybnicholls
• Lisa on Instagram: @thelisafitzpatrick

Why Am I So Irritable and Exhausted? (The Beliefs Keeping You Stuck in Stress)

If you're constantly wired, snapping at your kids or partner more than you'd like, and running on empty even though nothing's "technically" wrong — this episode is for you.

In this episode of Wellness Simplified, Kelly Nicholls unpacks six of the most common beliefs and identities that keep women stuck in chronic, low-grade stress: the need to feel important, comparison, the martyr/hero pattern, difficulty asking for help, weak boundaries, and perfectionism. For women 40+, this matters even more — chronic stress doesn't just sit alongside the hormonal shifts of perimenopause, it can amplify them.

You'll learn:

• Why chronic stress hits harder — and shows up differently — for women 40+, and how it interacts with perimenopause
• Why your nervous system can't tell the difference between a real threat and a perceived one
• Six specific beliefs — from people-pleasing and boundary struggles to perfectionism and burnout — that quietly drive chronic stress
• One simple, low-effort practice to start loosening the pattern that resonates most with you

Free worksheet: Want help identifying which of these six beliefs is driving your own stress? Download the free Beliefs & Identities Worksheet— it walks you through all six and helps you pinpoint exactly where to focus first.

Ready to go deeper? If you see yourself in these patterns and want to actually work through what's underneath your stress, book a free coaching Discovery Call. It's a no-pressure conversation to get clear on what's actually driving your stress and exhaustion and whether coaching is the right next step.

If this episode helped, hit follow or subscribe wherever you're listening — and if you're on Apple, a quick rating goes a long way too.

Stuck in a rut and can't make any habit stick? You keep telling yourself Monday will be different. It never is — and by now you've stopped believing your own promises.

In this episode, Kelly breaks down why willpower was never the real problem, and why rebuilding trust in yourself is the actual key to lasting change. Drawing on identity-based habits and her own recent experience — committing to a solo dance performance with five weeks' notice, in the middle of a house move and a mould remediation — Kelly walks through the exact framework for breaking a rut for good: building an identity that genuinely excites you, using commitment to break inertia, and the small daily habits that rebuild self-trust one kept promise at a time.

If you've tried and failed to make a habit stick more times than you can count, this episode gives you a different way in. One habit. One identity. Starting today.

If you want help to get out of a rut and make any habit stick, Kelly offers coaching just for this.

🔗 Book a free Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/kellynicholls/vitopia-discovery-call?back=1&month=2026-08

If this helped, hit follow so you don't miss what's next — and if you've got a minute, a quick rating or review helps far more people find the show.