So apparently the most existential question you can ask a mom is what she wants to be when she grows up. Because, well... good question.

This week, Kendall and Emily are talking about their kids' very ambitious career plans (including an animal orchestra), the chaos of planning halloween and christmas at the same time, and why a three-year-old's birthday party apparently requires a full project management system.

There's also a porta potty turned potential halloween decoration, a debate about whether a drawer full of tape counts as men's crafting, and a very important conversation about a toddler who was promised a cookie.

Basically, just another week of trying to keep everything together while wondering when we became the adults in charge.

Key Takeaways

1. Apparently becoming an adult doesn't mean knowing what you want to be.

2. Making the holidays magical is basically a second job.

3. Not every free minute needs to be productive.

4. Being grateful for family help doesn't mean agreeing with everything.

Listener Submissions

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Apparently we've reached the phase of motherhood where our kids are losing teeth, questioning our ages, and making us feel approximately 50 years old.

This week, we're talking about everything from the absolute audacity of Costco putting out Christmas decorations before October to Halloween candy politics, stolen trick-or-treat bowls, and the surprisingly complicated business of the tooth fairy.

Plus, Kendall gets personally victimized by a Costco cardboard box, Emily almost becomes a youth soccer coach, and we discuss why taking multiple kids to the doctor should qualify as an extreme sport.

Just another week of being humbled by motherhood. wait...same.

Key takeaways

• Our kids have no problem humbling us. Whether they're confidently telling us we're 50 or making us realize we have no business coaching soccer, motherhood keeps everyone grounded.
• We're somehow already parenting actual kids. Loose teeth, sports practices, and tooth fairy logistics are arriving, and neither of us seem particularly ready.
• Can we enjoy the season we're actually in? Christmas decorations appearing before October spark a bigger realization that we’re just rushing through holidays and childhood.

Listener Submissions

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Emily is trying not to accidentally give her daughter a lifelong fear of the ocean. Kendall is wondering how much we're all going to give our kids to talk about in therapy anyway. So naturally...we have some things to discuss.

This week we're talking about the impossible job of trying to raise tiny humans without projecting all of our own stuff onto them—from fears and homeschooling to the things our parents did that would absolutely not fly today. Plus: why Kendall will not be getting a dog, the deeply personal offense of your children waking up the second you try to have 20 minutes alone, and whether anyone actually remembers to put sunscreen on their kids before school.

Basically, we're all doing our best. And they're probably still going to have notes.

• Sometimes the hardest part of parenting is figuring out what not to pass down.
• Our kids aren't supposed to become tiny versions of us.
• There's no version of parenting where you get everything “right.”
• Every generation thinks the previous one was absolutely unhinged.
• Children and dogs are both a lot of work, but only one eventually wipes its own butt.

Listener Submissions

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flying with little kids is less of a vacation skill and more of an endurance sport.

this week, we’re talking about what actually helps us survive travel days with kids — snackle boxes, iPads, the magical extra bag, and the very important reminder that eventually, the flight will end.

then Kendall shares the birthday party moment that sent her straight into a mom guilt spiral after she lost sight of two-year-old Charlie… which leads us to the question: do moms have some sort of built-in radar that allows us to have a full conversation while simultaneously tracking every child within a 50-foot radius?

also: Costco, we need to discuss why there were Christmas decorations out in august.

basically: travel chaos, toddler chaos, mom brain, holiday magic, and several things we apparently feel very strongly about.

• The flight will end.
• Mom guilt loves a “what if.”
• Moms may actually have a background child-tracking system running at all times.
• Sometimes the elaborate activity you packed loses to snacks and an iPad.
• Making the magic is part of motherhood for Kendall and Emily.

Samsonite foldaway/collapsible tote
Snackle box
Airplane tray table pocket/cover

Listener Submissions

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Episode Description:

Apparently we’re the expert moms now, which feels like information someone should have warned us about.

This week we’re talking kindergarten color week, the crafts we absolutely cannot handle, the music our kids inexplicably love, escaping the endless loop of children’s songs, and the realization that our moms were probably making it all up too.

Then Kendall takes us down her latest rabbit hole: creatine, women, strength, brain fog, and whether she actually feels more focused or just really believes she does.

Plus, a listener sends in a first-day-of-preschool incident that everyone can relate to.

Basically: motherhood, but nobody gave us the encyclopedia.

• Becoming “the mom who knows” is bizarre when you still feel like you’re making it up.
• School fun somehow becomes mom homework.
• Your kids’ taste in music is one of the genuinely fun surprises of watching them become people.
• There is always one kid thing you simply cannot allow into your home.

Listener Submissions

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Episode Description:

a playdate, a puppet show, and the realization that apparently not all types of play are created equal.

i have questions. mostly for the moms who can pretend play for more than 3 minutes.

— Emily

Listener Submissions

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One dog destroys a bedroom carpet, another preschool decides carpet is exactly what a building full of potty-training toddlers needs, and somehow that’s only the beginning.

This week, Kendall and Emily get into the extremely specific ways moms learn to move silently (like, actually silent) through their own homes, the toddler meltdown that made Kendall realize her second kid is playing a very different game, and what happens when you watch your husband make a parenting decision and already know exactly how it’s going to end.

Plus: a camp experience that left Kendall furious, the emotional end of the full-time nanny era, kindergarten drop-off struggles, and Emily volunteering to be room mom because apparently she needed one more thing to do.

Basically: carpet, poop, tantrums, school feelings, frogs, and the quiet confidence of a mom thinking, yep. saw that coming.

1. You eventually know every floorboard in your house.

2. The second kid can make you question everything you thought you knew about toddlers.

3. Sometimes the hardest parenting moments are the ones where you’re trying not to show how angry you are.

4. “Let them learn the lesson” gets complicated when you know you’ll be dealing with the fallout.

5. School transitions can be good and hard at exactly the same time.

Listener Submissions

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back-to-school season has arrived, which means name labels on underwear, three spare outfits, approximately six thousand school holidays and trying to find kids’ activities that don’t require the entire family to live in the car.

Emily shares how Olivia’s first week of kindergarten went—including the exhaustion, the new routines and the classroom guinea pig currently getting top billing—and Kendall prepares to send Charlie to school while negotiating a gymnastics tryout for a two-year-old whose ability to listen is…very mood-dependent.

Plus, the girls debate butter storage, remember their children eating straight from restaurant butter packets and hear a listener submission about the tiny moment when your child suddenly asks, “how was your day?”

• Kindergarten can be more exhausting than preschool even when the day is technically shorter.
• Putting multiple children in activities is its own logistical sport. The dream is two classes at the same location, preferably back-to-back, with no one spending an hour watching their sibling have fun.
• The smallest signs that our kids are growing can hit harder than the official milestones.
• Every parent has a category of problem they have decided to leave for Future Them.
• Back-to-school preparation is mostly labeling objects you did not realize required individual identification.

• Golden Gate Gymnastics
• Name Bubbles

Listener Submissions

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