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Welcome back to VulvaVaginaCervix!!

I've been a doula these past 12 years and I share a story about my sister. (I am so proud of her!) And is listening to her story of medical mistreatment, I felt helpless because I have not completed my CPM (Certified Professional Midwifery) Certification just yet.

Next, I share a bit about the kinds of conversations you will have with you doula and choosing a great care provider. Doulas are able to help you choose the best place to birth for you.

The benefits of hiring a doula: physical and emotional support, education and advocacy, brings you and your partner closer. You discuss what you really want for your birth. The book, Natural Hospital Birth by Cynthia Gabriel, has some great exercises. I also share some of what I do in my prenatal visits with clients.

Thank you for listening!!! And I'll see you next week.

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Today, we're talking about friendship: the benefits to your health, confidence and life. We discuss what a great and bad friendship looks like.

We begin with some unhinged social media posts: Hey Blacks!!, Ugly By Proxy and AITA.

The point of today's episode: be open to making some new friends and nurturing the old relationships as well.

GREAT Friendships: Building confidence, add humor, provide empathy, improve your health. Great friends encourage, listen and provide wisdom. Within healthy friendship, you share emotional experiences, have space to be yourself, experience connection. As a great friend, you bring additional perspectives, call out the bullshit in a shitty situation and provide a sense of belonging and empowerment.

We talk about different pockets of friends: forever friends, going out friends, common world view friends... Friendship is so important because these are the people YOU have CHOSEN to be apart of your life. It’s okay to have one or two friends. It’s okay to have certain friends for specific areas of your life.

How to show up for your friends and how do they show up for you? You don’t have to talk everyday… I have great friends that we talk here and there… and show up when it matters for funerals, weddings, when someone had a hard day. You don't have to be there every second. We all have our own separate lives, but we should prioritize showing up and checking in on our friends, as well.

Toxic Friendships - Insult you… weirdly copy what you’re doing… embrace and befriend people that are not your people. People that make themselves the victim… often, doing things you are not comfortable with, disrespect your boundaries... they are not your friends. Individuals that are not happy for you... you feel drained after interacting with them... you have to lie and embarrass yourself to cover up the friend’s mess, you feel obligated to be their friend... they change when others are around... Those are not your friends. See Braving and putting friendships in appropriate boxes in the episode.

BRAVING - Trust - Brene’ Brown: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgement, Generosity

How to be present for friends during pregnancy - are we happy for this experience? If not yet, I'll be happy when you're happy.

How to be present for friends during postpartum - make your friends food and literally just show up.

Thank you for listening. Please get out there and make some friends

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In this episode, I elaborate on a text message that I share with friends. I am not a physician. I am sharing what I do. Text below:

1. Urinate before and after sex - there is no such thing as a moment… you always time to use the restroom, use protection, and have a conversation about the sexual intercourse.

2. Have (you have) and be certain your partner has great oral hygiene... concerning oral sex. And great genital hygiene.

3. Sperm is alkaline... the vulvar and yoni environment is acidic. If your male partner is ejaculating inside or on your vulva often (more than once per week), your vaginal pH can be thrown off. Limit this practice per the pull out and barrier methods.

4. DRINK WATER... At the first sign of UTI... pelvic pain, change in urine color or smell, discomfort urinating... - drink water, KOMBUCHA — cranberry juice… drink anything and just keep going to the restroom.

5. I stopped using mainstream sanitary napkins and tampons. Towels and menstrual discs only. I learned that the skin absorbs 60-80% of whatever it is exposed to. For hours, my vulvar area and yoni were exposed to whatever was on these products when I was menstruating. And I found that almost every other month I had something going on. It was not my flow, it was my products.

6. Femdophillis!!!! The one in the refrigerator. I found this years ago and have not needed any antibiotic or cranberry juice since. You can use these orally or as suppositories... inserting them into the yoni. No UTI, No BV and no more yeast... I’ve even gone to see a physician afterward to have them do an exam and a Whiff test to be certain I was well. The physician asked what I was doing and said he would start recommending this probiotic regimen to his female patients.

STOP taking rat poison - BORIC ACID -- It's rat poison.

You got this!! 💪🏽💪🏽💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽💕

Day 1 - take 5 and 5 suppositories

Day 2 - 4 oral 4 suppositories

And so on... till only one probiotic orally and no more suppositories.

7. Be certain that if you are practicing anal sex, you and your partner are not going from anal sex to yoni sex without properly cleansing your genitals or using a condom. You will introduce fecal bacteria into the yoni environment.

8. When using sex toys, be sure you clean them properly. Use the special sprays and sanitizers they sell. Using regular soap can be harmful. Some soaps break down the material of the tool or device and the soap is absorbed into the device. Then you use the device on yourself. This leads to infection.

9. Even if you decide not to bathe your entire body daily, clean your vulva daily. Even if you just use water.

10. Change your panties!! You took a walk outside - your seat is wet/damp… change your panties! You exercised… you were sitting with a blanket over your legs and now your seat is wet… you have a WARM DAMP environment... CHANGE YOUR PANTIES.

11. Your butt does not have to stink… take note from Aunty Lunell.

12. Wiping - front to back…

UTI, BV and YEAST — some products like your toilet paper, body soap, clothes detergent… are causing irritation... sometimes the rinse cycle is too short… run it again.

Thanks for listening 💗💗 MMMmmmuah 💗💗