Wisdom for parenting teenagers.

"There is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." Ecc 3:1 NKJV

Why does a happy, cooperative twelve-year-old suddenly turn into a sullen, depressed thirteen-year-old? There are two powerful forces that account for some of the adolescent behavior that drives you crazy as a parent. The first is linked to social pressures common at that age. But there is a second source of disruption. It's related to hormonal changes that not only transform the physical body but also revolutionize how kids think.

For some (not all) adolescents, human chemistry is in a state of imbalance for a few years, causing flightiness, agitation, outbursts, and even depression. This upheaval can motivate a boy or girl to do things that make absolutely no sense to the adults who are watching anxiously on the sidelines. This hormonal firestorm can destabilize their self-concept and create a sense of foreboding. Parents often despair during the irrationality of this period.

Everything they have tried to teach their children seems to have misfired for a couple of years. Self-discipline, cleanliness, respect for authority, and common courtesy may give way to risk-taking and all-around goofiness. If that is where your child is today, there is good news-better days are coming! Your unpredictable teen can actually become a tower of strength and good judgment-if they don't do something destructive before their hormones settle down once more. What should you do as a parent?

First, don't draw long-term conclusions based on a short-term season. Second, let them know you love them, be patient, and pray for peace of mind.

"The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds" (Php 4:7 NKJV).

Wisdom for parenting teenagers The hormonal firestorm

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JUN. 10, 2025

The five crowns (3).

"There is laid up for me the crown of righteousness." 2Ti 4:8 NKJV

The third crown mentioned in Scripture is the crown of righteousness. Paul writes: "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord...will give to me on that Day, and... also to all who have loved His appearing" (vv. 7-8 NKJV).

A pastor amplifies this: "The book of 2 Timothy represents the last known writing of the apostle Paul, and we have reason to believe he was beheaded shortly after writing these words.

• But rather than dreading death, he was looking forward to the Second Coming.
• He was...content with his record of service for the Master.
• Paul's use of the athletic metaphor here is especially descriptive of the life of the believer because it describes struggle, endurance, discipline, and final victory.

The Crown of Righteousness is reserved for those who have a longing for the Lord Jesus and who watch for Jesus to come back." Writing to Titus, Paul speaks of "looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ" (Titus 2:13 NKJV).

The pastor continues: "Psychologists tell us that anticipation...is an emotion with marvelous healing powers.

• People who are snowbound sustain their spirits by anticipating the longer days of spring and summer.
• Couples…separated by military deployment stay sane by anticipating their reunion…
• Brides and grooms are eager for their wedding day."

As a Christian, your best days are ahead of you, and you can anticipate all the glories of heaven and eternity. It should motivate you to be faithful to Jesus as you wait for His return.

The five crowns The crown of righteousness

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The five crowns (1).

"They do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown." 1Co 9:25 NKJV

In describing our heavenly rewards, the Bible speaks of crowns. Let's look at each and see what we can learn. The first is the victor's crown. "Everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified" (vv. 25-27 NKJV).

Paul points out that athletes who expect to win must actively train. And we, likewise, must retain self-control even in things that, although not inherently evil, can weaken our devotion to God. A pastor explains:

• Sometimes we have to turn off the television so we can study our Bibles.
• We have to get up earlier in the mornings to have our daily devotions.
• We have to exercise self-control in what comes into our minds.

We can't watch many of today's television programs or movies-much less the streaming material accessible on our phones and computers-without violating biblical standards of personal holiness.

We can't subject our bodies to drug or alcohol abuse or allow immorality to creep into our relationships. We've got to keep our tempers [and tongues] under the control of the Holy Spirit...and we have to depend on God to strengthen us in our resolutions to live disciplined lives."

The Bible says, "Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown"-the victor's crown.

The five crowns The victor's crown

The five crowns (2).

"What will be our...crown as we stand before our Lord Jesus when he returns? It is you!" 1Th 2:19 NLT

The second crown mentioned in Scripture is the crown of rejoicing. It's given to those who take part in leading others to Christ. The background for this passage is written about in Acts 17, which tells the story of Paul arriving in the city of Thessalonica. He went into the synagogue, "and for three Sabbaths reasoned with them from the Scriptures, explaining...that the Christ had to suffer and rise again from the dead, and saying, 'This Jesus whom I preach to you is the Christ'" (vv. 2-3 NKJV).

Some of his hearers were converted, including a great multitude of devout Greeks and a number of prominent women. As a result, a church was built there. Writing to them later, Paul said that they would be his crown when Christ returned. We should all follow Bill Bright's example; he was one of the best soul winners of the twentieth century.

And he once disclosed his secret: "Although I have shared Christ personally with many thousands of people through the years, I am a rather reserved person and I do not always find it easy to witness. But I have made this my practice, and l urge you to do the same: Assume that whenever you are alone with another person for more than a few moments, you are there by divine appointment to explain...the love and forgiveness he [or she] can know through faith in Jesus Christ." When was the last time you shared the gospel with someone? Whenever you do, the Lord is fitting you for a crown of rejoicing.

The five crowns The crown of rejoicing

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JUN. 5, 2025

Honor others, and God will honor you.

"...In honor giving preference to one another." Ro 12:10 NKJV

One of the real tests of character and maturity is how you react to someone else's success. That's particularly so when they succeed in an area where you failed or in which you're frustrated over not having achieved greater success.

F. B. Meyer, a well-known author and minister in England, once shared the following experience to a few of his friends: "It was easy to pray for the success of G. Campbell Morgan when he was in America. But when he came back to England and took a church near to mine, it was something different. The old Adam in me was inclined to jealousy, but I got my heel upon his head, and whether I felt right toward my friend, I determined to act right. My church gave a reception for him, and I acknowledged that if it was not necessary for me to preach Sunday evenings, I would dearly love to go and hear him myself. Well, that made me feel right toward him. But just see how the dear Lord helped me out of my difficulty.

There was Charles Spurgeon preaching wonderfully on one side of me, and G. Campbell Morgan on the other. Both were so popular and drew such crowds that our church caught the overflow, and we had all we could accommodate."

No matter how well you do something, someone else will come along and do it better. So, here are your options:

• Compare yourself to them,
• compete with them,
• criticize them,
• compliment, and
• cooperate with them.

The latter is what Paul meant when he wrote, "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another" (v. 10 NKJV).

Honor others, and God will honor you How you react to someone else's success

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Finding your life's purpose.

"I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness." Ac 26:16 NKJV

In baseball, the catcher tries to distract the batter. On one occasion when Yogi Berra was behind the plate, Hank Aaron came up to bat. Yogi started in, "Hank, you've got the writing on the bat in the wrong place. The words should be facing you." Yogi kept going, "You better check it." Hank didn't say a word. On the next pitch, Hank hit the ball over the center field fence. He rounded the bases, stepped on home plate, looked at Yogi Berra, and said, "I didn't come here to read, I came to win." It's vital to know why you are here and not to let anyone talk you out of your calling or purpose. In the world today, people say they are trying to find themselves.

Such a search is pointless. As one pastor states: "If you don't know who you are, how do you know what to look for? And how would you know when you have found it, since you don't know what you are looking for? Toasters don't find themselves...A toaster...just [has] to do what the manufacturer had in mind." Paul had a supernatural encounter on the Damascus road when Christ said to him, "I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things which I will yet reveal to you" (v. 16 NKJV).

To discover your life's purpose, you must start with God as your reference point. He made you; He redeemed you; He has a plan for your life-and He will reveal it to you.

Finding your life's purpose It's vital to know why you are here.

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JUN. 3, 2025

Take responsibility for your life.

"Do you want to get well?" Jn 5:6 NIV

What an amazing question Jesus asked this paralyzed man: "Do you want to get well?" Who wouldn't? You might be surprised! Kay Arthur tells of passing a beggar one day on a street in the Old City of Jerusalem. As he sat begging, his trouser leg was pulled up to reveal his terrible sores. She writes: "My nurse's heart brought my feet to a halt. I wanted to bend down and shield the open wound from the dust...It should be washed, medicated, and dressed by someone who cared. My friend gently took me by my elbow and propelled me toward our destination. I was a tourist and did not know about these things. She then proceeded to tell me that this man did not wish to be made well. He made his living from his wound! As I looked back...l caught one last glimpse of someone who was less than what he could have been." The man lying helpless on a cot by the pool called Bethesda had been there for thirty-eight years.

Question: How long does it take before a problem becomes a way of life? Jesus said to him, "Get up...and walk" (v. 8 NIV), the inference being that it's time to get up and go to work—to become a father to your children, a husband to your wife, a contributor to your community, a solution to someone else's problem-it's time to take responsibility for your life.

Are you letting your past or present circumstances keep you stuck and stop you from moving forward? If Jesus asked you, "Do you want to get well

• emotionally,
• physically,
• and spiritually?"

what would your answer be? Today let Jesus make you whole!

Take responsibility for your life Today let Jesus make you whole!

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JUN. 2, 2025

A word to graduates.

"Concentrate on doing your best for God." 2Ti 2:15 MSG

Graduate, here are eleven lessons to empower and inspire you:

(1) You're here for a reason, and the most vital thing you can do is find it.

(2) Follow your passion. You may not already know what it is, but make it your mission to discover it.

(3) Although you might love Facebook, you might not like working for the company. And because you enjoy cooking doesn't mean you will enjoy owning a restaurant.

(4) Don't quit because the work is hard. Quit because deep inside you know there is something different for you to do, or you're not improving yourself or the organization, or you know you're not supposed to be there anymore.

(5) Learn from every experience. Each job gets you ready for the work you were born to do.

(6) Your present job may not be your highest purpose, but it can assist as an agent to prepare you for it.

(7) In whichever job you accept after graduation, serve. Serving in minor ways affords you opportunities to serve in major ways.

(8) Your dream job probably isn't the one you dreamed about. Frequently we end up in remarkable careers outside the scope of our degrees.

(9) The pursuit of your purpose is filled with difficulties, wins, detours, dead ends, and postponements. Remain hopeful and faithful.

(10) You may want something to happen immediately, but if it did, would you be ready for it?

(11) Seeds yield to the ground so they can be utilized for a greater purpose.

So, plant yourself, and let yourself be used for a harvest to benefit others.

A word to graduates Don't quit because the work is hard.

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MAY. 29, 2025

The need for connectedness.

"Being rooted and established in love." Eph 3:17 NIV

Unfortunately, the word fellowship has come to be associated with awkward gatherings in church basements, drinking red punch, and participating in stilted conversations. No wonder people give up on it! Paul describes connectedness as "being rooted and established in love."

When a tree puts roots into the ground, it takes in nutrients and water, and the tree grows and has life, but only if it's rooted. In the same way, we're rooted, and our souls are nourished in the love of God-and other people.

We experience this physically and emotionally when we connect with somebody. When there is an exchange of genuine caring, the roots of your soul get fed. We flourish when we're connected with God and people, and we languish when we're disconnected.

• Emotionally isolated people are more prone to depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem, substance abuse, sexual addiction, and difficulty eating and sleeping.
• One behavioral expert writes: "Connection not only helped make us who we are...it helps determine who we become as individuals…
• In both cases, human connections, mental health, psychological health, and emotional well-being are inextricably linked."
• Even animals that are isolated experience more intensive arterial sclerosis.

One author writes, "A friend of mine used to have a dog and a cat [that] fought for ten years. Then the cat died...and the dog wouldn't eat. Six weeks later he died." That's just a small illustration of the power of connection. This doesn't mean you have to force yourself to become an extrovert. Some of the shyest people have the deepest friendships because they identify life-giving relationships, plug into them, thrive, and give back. And that's what God designed you to do too.

The need for connectedness Human connections and emotional wellbeing are inextricably linked.

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