The vibe of this episode is the conversation you will overhear when you’re at a cafe sitting beside two therapists having coffee and matcha!

I met Carmen in Melbourne, introduced by a mutual friend and we have not stopped talking since. She is a therapist who specialises in couples and relationships, and she is also one of the few people in my life I feel completely safe with from the very first conversation.

Carmen moved back to Malaysia after her Masters in Counselling, and just three weeks before we recorded this, she took the leap and left her corporate job to do client work full time.

We talked about the fear that lives alongside big decisions and why waiting for the fear to disappear is the reason so many of us never move.

We also dived into the cost of following a life trajectory that was never really ours.

And then we spent a long time on something I find super fascinating (and also oftentimes hard to navigate!): what it is like to be a therapist in friendships and in relationships

Oh, and of course, we talk about some money matters and ghosting your therapist hahaha.

If you have ever been curious about what therapy is really for, or wondered whether individual/couples therapy is something that could be for you, this one is a really good place to start.

IN THIS EPISODE

• What Carmen's first three weeks out of corporate life actually felt like, and what helped her nervous system slowly find its footing
• Why the fear doesn't disappear before you take the step, and what it looks like to take the step anyway
• The inner critic that says rest is not allowed, where it comes from, and what it looks like to slowly build a kinder relationship with it
• Values: what they are, how we figure them out, and why small steps towards living more aligned with them changes everything
• The occupational hazard of being a therapist with friends: what we see, what we hold back, and how we decide when to say something
• What couples therapy is actually for, and why Carmen wishes more people knew about it
• The biggest misconception Carmen sees around couples therapy in Asian cultures
• On ghosting your therapist: why it happens so often and what might be a better thing to do

FIND CARMEN

IG: https://instagram.com/clarityandbondtherapy

Carmen offers couples therapy, individual therapy, and a free 15-minute consultation. DM her directly.

WORK & CONNECT WITH JASMINE

• Presence coaching programme. Join the waitlist: https://texturedlifewellness.com/coaching
• 1:1 Therapy. Free 15-min consultation: https://tidycal.com/texturedlifewellness/free15
• IG: https://instagram.com/jasmineteo.jiamin
• Website: https://texturedlifewellness.com

I met Charlie on the very first day of our psychotherapy training and I immediately knew she was someone I wanted to be around. Over the time of our studies together, driving to class, and just being in each other's lives, I've watched her move through the world in a way with a kind of groundedness that doesn't come from having a plan.

It comes from knowing herself and what she desires in life.
And then TAKING STEPS to make it happen.

Charlie grew up with very little certainty.

Moving countries, moving houses (46 of them, by her count), not knowing when a parent would show up. And rather than becoming someone who desperately chases stability, she became someone who has genuinely made peace with not knowing, and built a life and a business from that place.

IN THIS EPISODE

• How Charlie's childhood (moving constantly, financial instability, parents who came and went) shaped her relationship with uncertainty, and how that looks now
• Her philosophy on money: how much is actually enough, what she's figured out about saving and investing, and why she doesn't want a mortgage (or anything that ties her to one place)
• Her business, Your Sacred Space: women's circles, community, and why she built something intimate on purpose, and how she's about to pack it all into a van and drive it across Australia
• What she's learned about the people we let in: why we don't outgrow people, we outgrow the version of ourselves that tolerated their behaviour
• How to have the hard conversation with a friend you've grown away from, and why kindness always gives you a better chance of something coming back around
• The wellness industry and why "trauma-informed" doesn't mean "trained to work with trauma" — a conversation we felt strongly about
• How to find a therapist: what to look for, why the vibe check is everything, and why ‘shopping’ for a therapist is important
• Why your friends, even the ones who love you most, cannot give you the same thing a therapist can
• What happens when you share a new idea too early, and why the knife to kill your idea should only ever be in your hands

FIND CHARLIE

Instagram: @_yoursacredspace

Follow along for her van build, pop-up events on the road, and women's circles wherever life takes her next.

CONNECT WITH JASMINE

• Instagram: @jasmineteo.jiamin
• Website: texturedlifewellness.com

WORK WITH JASMINE

• Presence. A 4-month 1:1 coaching programme. For people who live for something greater than themselves and want to build the inner life to match. Join the waitlist: https://texturedlifewellness.com/coaching
• 1:1 Therapy. Free 15-min consultation to start.

We spend so much energy trying to decide whether something will work - in our own heads, alone, before anything has been tested.

Whether to apply for a job.
Whether to ask someone out.
Whether to create and share something.

And in doing all that thinking and not doing anything, many of us just stay stuck.

In this episode I want to offer a reframe that has genuinely changed how I move through life.

Life is actually a really good filter, but only if you are putting things through it.

This isn’t about being reckless or thoughtless.
It’s about understanding that uncertainty is not the enemy here. Uncertainty is the mechanism.
Uncertainty is what allows life to give you real information; information you cannot get by staying inside your own head.

IN THIS EPISODE

• What actually keeps us stuck
• How I stopped seeing every step as high-stakes, and what changed from then
• The food analogy: why you sometimes don’t know what you want until life shows you
• On applying for jobs, putting out work, and letting life respond instead of “pre-deciding”
• My Secondary school teacher’s quote that changed how I think about control
• What it means when you genuinely can’t put things out or get started on something, and what’s actually worth looking at there
• Why being stuck is not your personality. It’s just a part of you. And there’s a huge difference in naming that differently.

"Uncertainty isn't the obstacle. It's actually the mechanism. It's what allows life to give you real information — information you can't get by staying inside your own head."

✨ TRY THIS ✨

This week, pick one thing you’ve been sitting on. Something small is fine. An application, a message, an idea you’ve been meaning to share. Put it out in the smallest way possible. Don’t pre-decide the outcome. Let life do the filtering. Notice what comes back, and notice what you feel when it does.

🌸 CONNECT WITH ME 🌸

• Instagram: @jasmineteo.jiamin (I always reply to DMs!)
• Coaching: Presence, a 4-month 1:1 coaching programme. For people who want to build a life of impact and love their lives while doing the work. May and June intakes are sold out. Waitlist open for July. Apply here.

• 1:1 Therapy - limited spots left for May and June. Free 15-min consultation to start.