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  • Touring History 8-5-25

    Touring History 8-5-25
    2025/08/05
    TOURING HISTORY - AUGUST 5TH SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome to Touring History, I'm Lane— DAVE: And I'm Dave, and today we're exploring August 5th, a date that really shows history's range – from incredible achievements to absolute tragedy. LANE: Yeah, we've got Neil Armstrong being born on this day in 1930, literally the first human to walk on the moon, and then we've got Marilyn Monroe found dead in 1962 at just 36 years old. DAVE: Plus the first transatlantic telegraph cable was completed on this date in 1858, basically creating the first instant communication between Europe and America. Talk about shrinking the world. LANE: And on a lighter note, it's National Underwear Day, because apparently even August 5th needs some levity after all that heavy history. DAVE: From the sublime to the ridiculous. Speaking of personal moments, let's hear from one of our listeners. LISTENER VOICE MEMO SEZSO (as Coach Brock): [friendly, slightly nostalgic coach voice] Hey Lane and Dave, this is Coach Brock! So you guys mentioned that photo history trick a few episodes back – where you check your phone's photo library by entering specific dates to see what happened that day in past years. Well, I tried it and man, it's become my new morning routine! I punch in the date and just see what memories pop up. August 1st brought up this amazing kayaking trip I took in Marina del Rey with one of my former high school students who graduated in 2019. Kid wanted to show me around the water since I'm definitely not a "water guy" – more of a land-based coach, you know? But we saw sea lions, seals, even some stingrays! It was incredible. Such a fun memory I'd completely forgotten about until that photo showed up on my phone. Now I start every day with a little time travel. Thanks for the tip, guys – you've made this old coach a little more nostalgic! LANE: Coach Brock sounds like he's got the right idea! There's something beautiful about rediscovering those random moments. DAVE: Plus I love that he admitted he's not a water guy but still went kayaking. That's good coaching – stepping outside your comfort zone. CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Speaking of stepping outside comfort zones, let's talk about today's birthday legends. Born August 5th, 1930, Neil Armstrong – the first human being to set foot on the moon in 1969. DAVE: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Though apparently he wanted to say "one small step for A man" but the transmission cut out the "a." Still iconic. LANE: Also born today in 1850, Guy de Maupassant, the French writer who basically perfected the short story. If you've ever read "The Necklace," that's his masterpiece about vanity and irony. DAVE: And Patrick Ewing was born on this day in 1963 – the basketball legend who dominated the NBA in the '90s, primarily with the New York Knicks. Seven feet tall and absolutely unstoppable. LANE: Three guys who were literally the best in the world at what they did. Armstrong conquered space, Maupassant conquered literature, and Ewing conquered the paint. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Time for some salacious history, and today we're talking about something that happened exactly on August 5th, 1962 – the death of Marilyn Monroe, which sparked one of the most enduring scandals in American history. LANE: Oh boy, here we go. I assume this involves the Kennedys somehow? DAVE: You assume correctly! Monroe was found dead in her Brentwood home on the morning of August 5th, 1962, after a barbiturate overdose. Officially ruled a probable suicide, but here's where it gets juicy – she had been having affairs with both President John F. Kennedy AND his brother, Attorney General Robert Kennedy. LANE: Both brothers? That's... messy. DAVE: Extremely messy. Just three months before her death, Monroe had sung that famous sultry "Happy Birthday Mr. President" to JFK at Madison Square Garden, which basically confirmed the affair rumors to the entire world. But according to recent documentaries and investigations, Robert Kennedy was actually at Monroe's house the day she died, and they had a massive fight. LANE: What were they fighting about? DAVE: Monroe was reportedly threatening to go public about her relationships with both Kennedy brothers, potentially revealing state secrets she'd learned through their pillow talk during the Cold War. Some theories suggest she was silenced to protect national security, though others point to organized crime connections through Frank Sinatra. LANE: So her death potentially changed the entire trajectory of the Kennedy presidency? DAVE: Absolutely. If she had gone public, it could have brought down JFK's administration, changed the 1964 election, altered civil rights progress, Vietnam War decisions – all because of a love triangle that got out of control. Her death remains one of the most consequential "what-ifs" in American history. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Well, speaking of changing the world, let's talk about a...
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    13 分
  • Touring History 8-4-25

    Touring History 8-4-25
    2025/08/04
    TOURING HISTORY - AUGUST 4TH SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we make the past more entertaining than arguing with strangers on the internet. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still amazed that people used to have to actually go to a store to buy music. Like, you had to physically travel somewhere just to own a single song. LANE: Today we're exploring August 4th, a date that's brought us wartime declarations, technological breakthroughs, and some absolutely jaw-dropping examples of how a French queen's scandalous affairs literally helped cause a revolution. DAVE: Speaking of August 4th, we got a voice memo from a listener. Sezso, what do you have for us? CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Let's celebrate some August 4th birthdays! We've got Barack Obama, who somehow made being president look both incredibly difficult and surprisingly cool at the same time. DAVE: Also born today: Louis Armstrong, who basically invented jazz charisma and proved that a gravelly voice and a trumpet could make you one of the most beloved entertainers ever. And Billy Bob Thornton, who... exists in movies sometimes. LANE: Can't forget Percy Bysshe Shelley, born August 4th, 1792. Romantic poet who wrote beautiful poetry about nature and revolution while living a spectacularly scandalous personal life. DAVE: Speaking of scandals, didn't Shelley run away with a 16-year-old when he was married to someone else? Romantic poets really lived up to their reputations. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Scandal time! August 4th, 1789, the French National Assembly abolished feudalism during the French Revolution. But one of the major catalysts for this revolution was the scandalous affair between Queen Marie Antoinette and Swedish diplomat Count Axel von Fersen. LANE: Oh no, more royal affair drama that changes world history? DAVE: Marie Antoinette and Count Fersen had a passionate affair that lasted over a decade. He was incredibly handsome, she was lonely and neglected by Louis XVI, and their relationship was the worst-kept secret in Versailles. LANE: So the Queen of France was having a very public affair with a foreign diplomat? That seems... politically unwise. DAVE: The really scandalous part? Fersen helped plan the royal family's failed escape attempt in 1791. He literally risked international incidents and his own life to help his lover flee France. Their love letters survived and are incredibly passionate - Marie Antoinette wrote "I love you madly and can never stop loving you." LANE: So this wasn't just an affair - it was full-blown romantic obsession with international implications? DAVE: Exactly! The French people saw Marie Antoinette's affair as proof that the monarchy was corrupt, foreign-influenced, and immoral. Political pamphlets portrayed her as "l'Autrichienne" - the Austrian whore - and her relationship with Fersen became propaganda against the entire royal system. LANE: So one queen's love affair helped justify overthrowing the monarchy? DAVE: Her scandalous relationship fed into revolutionary propaganda so effectively that it contributed to both her execution and the end of absolute monarchy in France. One love affair helped reshape European political systems and inspired democratic revolutions worldwide. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Innovation time! August 4th, 1914, Britain declared war on Germany, officially starting World War I. But the innovation here was how this war completely transformed warfare technology. DAVE: That's a pretty grim kind of innovation, Lane. LANE: WWI introduced machine guns, poison gas, tanks, aircraft, and modern communication systems. It was the first industrial war where technology determined outcomes more than traditional tactics. Basically, it invented modern warfare. DAVE: So the innovation was "new and more efficient ways to be terrible to each other on an unprecedented scale"? That's... depressing but accurate. LANE: Also August 4th, 1977, President Carter established the Department of Energy, creating a unified approach to energy policy that led to innovations in renewable energy, nuclear power, and energy efficiency that we still use today. DAVE: From oil crises to solar panels - sometimes bureaucratic innovation actually works! Though it only took us another 40+ years to start taking climate change seriously. AD BREAK LANE: Let's talk about The Cheese Store of Beverly Hills, where they've been perfecting culinary excellence since 1967. DAVE: They're still celebrating the return of Bava Brothers, and honestly, if you haven't tried authentic Calabrian charcuterie, you're basically eating the knockoff version of Italian tradition. LANE: Bava Brothers brings four generations of family mastery to every slice. Their sopressata uses heritage pork with Calabrese paprika, fennel seeds, and red pepper - aged for a month and pressed for two weeks using techniques that have been refined since their great-grandfather's time in Calabria. DAVE: Their 'Nduja Calabrese spread is ...
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    10 分
  • Touring History 8-3-25

    Touring History 8-3-25
    2025/08/03
    TOURING HISTORY - AUGUST 3RD SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we make the past more interesting than whatever your algorithm thinks you want to watch next. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still trying to understand how people survived before GPS. Like, they just had to know where they were going before they left the house? Wild concept. LANE: Today we're exploring August 3rd, a date that's brought us labor victories, aviation milestones, and some absolutely mind-blowing examples of how papal sex scandals can literally split Christianity in half. DAVE: But first, birthdays - who do we have today, Lane? CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Let's celebrate some August 3rd birthdays! We've got Martin Sheen, who somehow made being a fictional president more believable than most actual presidents we've had. DAVE: Also born today: Tony Bennett, who proved that crooning never goes out of style and somehow made jazz cool for every generation. And Martha Stewart, who turned perfectionist homemaking into a multimedia empire. LANE: Can't forget Rupert Brooke, born August 3rd, 1887. Poet who wrote some of the most beautiful and tragically naive poetry about World War I before dying in the war at age 27. DAVE: His poem "The Soldier" with "there's some corner of a foreign field that is forever England" hits different when you know he died on a hospital ship heading to Gallipoli. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Scandal time! August 3rd, 1492, Christopher Columbus set sail from Spain on his first voyage. But here's the scandalous part - he was funded partly because of one of history's most notorious papal sex scandals involving Pope Alexander VI. LANE: Wait, how does papal corruption connect to Columbus discovering America? DAVE: Pope Alexander VI, also known as Rodrigo Borgia, was having a very public affair with Giulia Farnese, who was married to someone else. But Alexander was so obsessed with Giulia that he made her brother Alessandro a cardinal at age 25 just to keep her happy and close to Rome. LANE: So papal nepotism driven by sexual obsession? That seems on-brand for the Borgias. DAVE: But here's where it gets wild - Alessandro Farnese later became Pope Paul III, and to legitimize his scandalous rise to power, he needed to fund major Catholic expansion projects. That's partly why the church was so eager to support Columbus's voyages - they needed dramatic wins to distract from their sex scandals. LANE: So Columbus's voyage was essentially papal scandal PR management? DAVE: Alexander VI was so notorious for his affairs that he had multiple children with different mistresses while serving as Pope. His son Cesare Borgia became the inspiration for Machiavelli's "The Prince." The entire Borgia family's sexual scandals and political machinations literally shaped the Age of Exploration. LANE: So one Pope's inability to keep it in his papal robes helped launch European colonization of the Americas? DAVE: The Borgia sex scandals were so outrageous that they contributed to the Protestant Reformation. Martin Luther specifically cited papal sexual corruption as evidence that the Catholic Church needed reform. One family's scandalous affairs helped split Christianity and fund the conquest of two continents. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Innovation time! August 3rd, 1958, the USS Nautilus became the first submarine to reach the North Pole underwater, basically proving that humans could travel anywhere on Earth if they were sufficiently determined and claustrophobic. DAVE: Traveling under the Arctic ice in a nuclear submarine sounds like the ultimate "trust the engineering" moment. LANE: The Nautilus voyage revolutionized Arctic exploration and proved that nuclear submarines could operate in the most extreme conditions. It opened up entirely new possibilities for both scientific research and military strategy. DAVE: Plus it probably inspired every kid to want to be a submarine captain, at least until they learned about the months underwater with recycled air part. LANE: Also August 3rd, 1936, Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin Olympics, basically using athletic excellence to make Hitler's racial theories look stupid in front of the entire world. DAVE: That's less innovation and more "using superior performance to destroy racist propaganda." Though I guess making Nazis look foolish through excellence counts as social innovation. AD BREAK LANE: Let's talk about The Cheese Store of Beverly Hills, where they've been elevating taste buds since 1967. DAVE: They're still celebrating the return of Bava Brothers, and honestly, if you haven't tried authentic Calabrian charcuterie, you're basically eating the store-brand version of Italian tradition. LANE: Bava Brothers brings four generations of family expertise to every bite. Their sopressata uses heritage pork with Calabrese paprika, fennel seeds, and red pepper - aged for a month and pressed for two weeks using techniques that have been perfected since ...
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    10 分
  • Touring History 8-2-25

    Touring History 8-2-25
    2025/08/02
    TOURING HISTORY - AUGUST 2ND SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we make the past more entertaining than your doom-scrolling habits. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still processing that people used to have to memorize actual phone numbers. Like, you had to store ten digits in your brain just to call your friend about weekend plans. LANE: Today we're exploring August 2nd, a date that's brought us postal innovations, atomic discoveries, and some truly spectacular examples of how presidential affairs can literally change the course of American politics. DAVE: Yes, let’s see who’s jumping out of the birthday cake today! CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Let's celebrate some August 2nd birthdays! We've got Peter O'Toole, who made playing Lawrence of Arabia look effortless while actually suffering through one of the most brutal film shoots in history. DAVE: Also born today: James Baldwin, whose writing about race, sexuality, and identity in America was decades ahead of its time and remains painfully relevant. And Myrna Loy, who basically defined sophisticated comedy in Hollywood's golden age. LANE: Can't forget Freddy Mercury, born August 2nd... wait, no, that's wrong. Let me check my notes... Actually, it's Sam Worthington, who somehow became a leading man despite having the charisma of unsalted crackers. DAVE: Harsh but fair. Though he did manage to get cast in both Avatar and Terminator, so maybe bland is the new black in Hollywood. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Scandal time! August 2nd, 1923, President Warren G. Harding died suddenly in San Francisco, but the real scandal was the explosive revelation of his affair with Nan Britton that rocked American politics for decades. LANE: Oh boy, another presidential sex scandal. What makes this one special? DAVE: Harding had a secret affair with Nan Britton, who was 31 years younger than him and the daughter of his friend. But here's the kicker - she claimed he fathered her daughter, Elizabeth, and they conducted their affair in a White House coat closet! LANE: A coat closet? That's both scandalous and incredibly uncomfortable. DAVE: Nan wrote a tell-all book in 1927 called "The President's Daughter," which was the first book to explicitly detail a presidential affair. It was banned in many cities, but became a massive bestseller because America loves political sex scandals. LANE: So this was like the original political tell-all book? DAVE: Exactly! But the scandal got even juicier - Harding also had a 15-year affair with his best friend's wife, Carrie Phillips. The Republican Party actually paid Phillips hush money and sent her on an all-expenses-paid trip to Japan during the 1920 election to keep her quiet. LANE: So the Republican Party was literally paying to cover up presidential affairs a century ago? DAVE: The Nan Britton scandal destroyed Harding's historical reputation and led to DNA testing decades later that proved he was indeed the father of her daughter. One affair in a coat closet literally rewrote how we view presidential privacy and changed political campaign vetting forever. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Innovation time! August 2nd, 1939, Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt urging the development of atomic weapons, basically launching the Manhattan Project with his signature. DAVE: That's a pretty heavy kind of innovation, Lane. LANE: Einstein later called it "the one great mistake" of his life, but his letter led to the development of nuclear technology that changed everything - weapons, power generation, medicine, and space exploration. DAVE: So one scientist's letter accidentally created both the atomic bomb and nuclear medicine? That's the ultimate "be careful what you wish for" moment. LANE: Also August 2nd, 1858, the Government of India Act transferred power from the East India Company to the British Crown, basically innovating how empires could rebrand their colonialism as "official government policy." DAVE: That's less innovation and more "corporate colonialism gets a government makeover." Though I guess making exploitation more official counts as process improvement? LANE: The innovation was creating modern colonial administration that influenced how empires managed territories for the next century. Not good innovation, but definitely influential. AD BREAK LANE: Let's talk about The Cheese Store of Beverly Hills, where they've been perfecting the art of deliciousness since 1967. DAVE: They're still celebrating the return of Bava Brothers, and honestly, if you haven't experienced authentic Calabrian charcuterie, you're basically eating training wheels salami. LANE: Bava Brothers brings four generations of Italian family tradition to every slice. Their sopressata uses heritage pork with Calabrese paprika, fennel seeds, and red pepper - aged for a month and pressed for two weeks using techniques perfected in their great-grandfather's hometown. DAVE: Their 'Nduja Calabrese spread is basically spreadable ...
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    12 分
  • Touring History 8-1-25

    Touring History 8-1-25
    2025/08/01
    TOURING HISTORY - AUGUST 1ST SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we dig through the past so you can sound smart at parties without actually reading textbooks. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still trying to process that people used to have to physically develop film to see their photos. Like, you had to wait days to find out if you blinked during a family picture. LANE: Today we're exploring August 1st, a date that's brought us military victories, scientific breakthroughs, and some absolutely legendary examples of how royal mistresses can literally rewrite the rules of succession. DAVE: Speaking of August 1st, we got a voice memo from a listener. Sezso, what do you have for us? LISTENER VOICE MEMO SEZSO (as listener): Hello, My name is Derek, and I'm calling in to suggest replacing Lane, with me Derek, in the podcast. He obviously has no clue what he's doing, is clearly reading, and can't keep up with Dave. I, however, shall put David in his place. Heel Dave, sit, Good boy! I've attached my CV, and look forward to your consideration. The choice should be easy. Cheers! LANE: Hey, now wait a minute…am I being replaced? Sezso, you’re supposed to be screening calls aren’t you? Is it just me, or has the audience decided to mess with us? Was that an AI nerd voice? DAVE: …. CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Let's celebrate some August 1st birthdays! We've got Yves Saint Laurent, who revolutionized fashion by making haute couture wearable and basically invented the modern woman's power suit. DAVE: Also born today: Herman Melville, who wrote "Moby Dick" and proved that you could make a 600-page book about hunting one really annoying whale into a literary masterpiece. And Coolio, who made academic gangster rap a thing with "Gangsta's Paradise." LANE: Can't forget Francis Scott Key, born August 1st, 1779. Lawyer and poet who wrote "The Star-Spangled Banner" after watching Fort McHenry get bombarded, basically turning a sleepless night into America's national anthem. DAVE: Though let's be honest, he wrote the most difficult song possible for people to sing at sporting events. Thanks for that, Francis. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Scandal time! August 1st, 1714, Queen Anne of Great Britain died, ending the Stuart dynasty. But the real scandal? Her passionate, decades-long relationship with Sarah Churchill that basically controlled English politics for twenty years. LANE: Wait, are we talking about a royal lesbian affair in the 1700s? DAVE: Queen Anne and Sarah Churchill were inseparable from childhood. Sarah became Anne's lady-in-waiting, but their relationship was way more intimate than professional. Anne wrote Sarah letters calling her "Mrs. Freeman" while Anne signed as "Mrs. Morley" - basically secret girlfriend nicknames. LANE: That's actually kind of sweet. Secret pet names across social classes. DAVE: Anne's letters to Sarah are incredibly passionate: "I hope I shall get a moment or two to be with my dear Mrs. Freeman, that I may have one dear embrace." And Sarah had unprecedented political influence - she basically ran the government through her relationship with the Queen. LANE: So England was essentially being ruled by royal girlfriend drama? DAVE: Exactly! But then Sarah fell in love with her cousin Abigail Masham, who also became Anne's favorite. The love triangle literally split the English court into factions. Anne eventually banished Sarah in 1711, and Sarah spent the rest of Anne's reign trying to get back into her good graces. LANE: So this wasn't just personal drama - it was actual government policy being decided by who the Queen was sleeping with? DAVE: When Anne died in 1714, it ended both the Stuart line and one of history's most politically influential lesbian relationships. Sarah's memoirs, published later, basically confirmed what everyone suspected about their "friendship." Their affair shaped English politics for decades. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Innovation time! August 1st, 1774, oxygen was discovered independently by Joseph Priestley in England. Basically, humans finally figured out what that invisible stuff was that kept us alive. DAVE: It only took us thousands of years to identify the thing we literally can't live without. That's peak human observational skills right there. LANE: Priestley called it "dephlogisticated air" because 18th-century scientists had the worst naming conventions ever. But discovering oxygen revolutionized chemistry, medicine, and our understanding of life itself. DAVE: Plus it led to understanding combustion, which improved everything from engines to cooking. Though I bet Priestley never imagined his discovery would eventually lead to oxygen bars in shopping malls. LANE: Also August 1st, 1981, MTV launched with "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles, which accidentally predicted its own future irrelevance while revolutionizing music culture. DAVE: MTV basically invented the concept that musicians had to be visually ...
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    12 分
  • Touring History 7-31-25

    Touring History 7-31-25
    2025/07/31
    TOURING HISTORY - JULY 31ST SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we make the past more entertaining than whatever algorithm is trying to show you next. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still amazed that people used to have to physically go to a library to settle arguments. Like, imagine having to walk somewhere just to prove your friend wrong about a random fact. LANE: Today we're exploring July 31st, a date that's brought us space missions, patent applications, and some truly jaw-dropping examples of how royal affairs can literally reshape entire religions. DAVE: Speaking of July 31st, we got a voice memo from a listener. Sezso, what do you have for us? LISTENER VOICE MEMO SEZSO (as listener): [Enthusiastic, slightly manic voice] Hey guys! This is Heather from Indiana. July 31st, 2020, was the day I discovered that my Animal Crossing island had the exact same layout as the Battle of Gettysburg. I'm a Civil War history nerd, so I spent the entire pandemic recreating the three-day battle using turnip fields and decorative fencing. My villagers are named after Union and Confederate generals. Tom Nook is clearly profiteering off wartime economics. I gave guided tours to my friends over Discord, complete with PowerPoint presentations. Yes, I made PowerPoints about my virtual Civil War battlefield. No, I'm not embarrassed. History education through Nintendo is valid! LANE: Huh…I don’t really know what to say about that…200 points to creativity and DAVE: The fact that you named your cartoon animals after Civil War generals and then gave PowerPoint tours is peak pandemic creativity mixed with beautiful nerdiness. CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Let's celebrate some July 31st birthdays! We've got J.K. Rowling, who turned getting rejected by 12 publishers into creating the most successful book series of all time and basically inventing modern young adult fantasy. DAVE: Also born today: Wesley Snipes, who proved that action heroes could be both incredibly cool and surprisingly good at tax evasion strategies. And Primo Levi, whose writing about surviving the Holocaust became essential literature. LANE: Can't forget Milton Friedman, born July 31st, 1912. Economist who basically convinced the world that free markets could solve everything, which worked out... variably. DAVE: His ideas shaped global economics for decades, though I'm pretty sure he didn't anticipate people using his theories to justify charging $8 for coffee. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Scandal time! July 31st, 1498, Christopher Columbus arrived in Trinidad during his third voyage. But here's the salacious part - Columbus was simultaneously conducting affairs with multiple women while his wife waited back in Spain, and these relationships literally changed the demographics of the New World. LANE: Oh no, here we go with Columbus being terrible in new and creative ways. DAVE: Columbus had a well-documented affair with Beatriz Enríquez de Arana, who bore him a son, Fernando, while he was still married to Felipa Perestrello. But that's just the beginning - he also had relationships with indigenous women in the Caribbean, which was part of his strategy for establishing Spanish colonial control. LANE: So his personal affairs were actually colonial policy? DAVE: Exactly! Columbus encouraged his men to take indigenous wives and mistresses as a way of creating mixed-race children who would be loyal to Spain. His own sexual relationships became the template for Spanish colonization throughout the Americas. LANE: That's horrifying. His infidelity became systematic cultural destruction. DAVE: The really scandalous part? Columbus wrote love letters to Beatriz while simultaneously writing official reports to the Spanish crown about "civilizing" indigenous populations through intermarriage. His personal romantic life and his colonial policies were the same thing. LANE: So one man's inability to stay faithful to his wife helped establish centuries of colonial sexual exploitation? DAVE: His affairs and the colonial marriage policies they inspired created entire new ethnic populations across Latin America. The scandal wasn't just personal - it literally reshaped the genetic and cultural makeup of two continents. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Innovation time! July 31st, 1971, Apollo 15 astronauts took the first lunar rover for a spin on the moon, basically turning space exploration into the ultimate off-road adventure. DAVE: They drove a car on the moon! That's like the ultimate "are we there yet?" road trip. LANE: The lunar rover completely changed space exploration strategy. Instead of being limited to walking distances in bulky suits, astronauts could travel miles across the lunar surface, collecting samples from diverse geological areas. DAVE: Plus they got to do the first and only moon donuts, which has to be the most exclusive driving experience in human history. LANE: Also July 31st, 1790, the first U.S. patent was issued to Samuel ...
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    14 分
  • Touring History 7-30-25

    Touring History 7-30-25
    2025/07/30
    TOURING HISTORY - JULY 30TH SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we make the past more interesting than whatever's trending on TikTok this week. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that people used to get their news exclusively from town criers. Imagine waiting for some guy to show up and yell updates at you. LANE: Today we're exploring July 30th, a date that's brought us automotive innovations, political assassinations, and some truly spectacular examples of how personal scandals can topple governments. DAVE: Speaking of July 30th, we got a voice memo from a listener. Sezso, take it away. LISTENER VOICE MEMO SEZSO (as listener): [Proud, slightly emotional voice] Hey Lane and Dave! July 30th, 2015, was the day I finally worked up the courage to ask my barista crush for her number. I'd been going to the same coffee shop every morning for eight months, perfecting my order just to have something to talk about. Turns out she'd been waiting for me to ask the whole time and had started writing little messages on my cups that I was too nervous to notice. We got married last year, and yes, we served her signature lavender latte at our wedding. Sometimes love is hiding in plain sight on a coffee cup! LANE: That's adorable! Eight months of elaborate coffee ordering as a courtship ritual. DAVE: I love that she was basically sending you romantic messages in foam art while you were probably overthinking whether asking for extra foam was too forward. CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Let's celebrate some July 30th birthdays! We've got Arnold Schwarzenegger, who somehow convinced the world that an Austrian bodybuilder could become an action star, governor, and cultural icon. DAVE: Also born today: Emily Brontë, who gave us "Wuthering Heights" and proved that Victorian women could write some of the most intense, passionate literature ever created. And Hilary Swank, who won two Oscars by completely transforming herself for roles. LANE: Can't forget Henry Ford, born July 30th, 1863. The man who didn't invent the car but figured out how to make it affordable for regular people, basically creating modern consumer culture. DAVE: Plus he accidentally created the weekend by giving workers Saturdays off. Revolutionary labor practices through pure practicality. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Scandal time! July 30th, 1811, Miguel Hidalgo, the Mexican independence leader, was executed. But the real scandal? His secret relationship that rocked the Catholic Church and changed Mexican history. LANE: Wait, how is a priest's execution salacious? DAVE: Because Father Hidalgo wasn't just any priest - he had multiple children with different women while serving the church! He openly lived with Josefa Quintana and had several children with her, plus affairs with other women in his parish. LANE: A Catholic priest with multiple mistresses and children leading a revolution? That's like a telenovela plot. DAVE: The Catholic Church was furious because Hidalgo wasn't just breaking his vows - he was using his pulpit to preach revolution while living this scandalous lifestyle. His famous "Grito de Dolores" calling for independence came from a priest who was basically thumbing his nose at church authority in every possible way. LANE: So his personal rebellion against Catholic celibacy became part of his political rebellion against Spanish rule? DAVE: Exactly! The Spanish authorities used his "immoral lifestyle" as propaganda against the independence movement, but it actually made him more popular with regular people who saw the church as hypocritical anyway. His sexual scandals became part of his revolutionary credibility. LANE: So breaking his religious vows helped legitimize breaking political ones? DAVE: His execution turned him into a martyr, but his scandalous personal life had already made him a symbol of Mexican independence from both Spanish political control AND Catholic moral authority. One priest's inability to stay celibate helped spark a entire nation's independence movement. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Innovation time! July 30th, 1975, Jimmy Hoffa disappeared, which led to massive innovations in federal witness protection and organized crime investigation techniques. DAVE: That's a pretty dark kind of innovation, Lane. LANE: True, but Hoffa's disappearance revolutionized how the FBI investigates organized crime. They developed new surveillance techniques, witness protection protocols, and interstate crime coordination that we still use today. DAVE: So the innovation was "better ways to investigate people who make other people vanish"? LANE: Also July 30th, 1956, President Eisenhower signed the Federal Aid Highway Act, creating the Interstate Highway System. This completely transformed American culture - suddenly you could drive from coast to coast on standardized roads. DAVE: Which gave us road trips, drive-throughs, and the American obsession with cars as freedom symbols. Plus...
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    16 分
  • Touring History 7-29-25

    Touring History 7-29-25
    2025/07/29
    TOURING HISTORY - JULY 29TH SCRIPT COLD OPEN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we make the past more entertaining than scrolling through social media for the hundredth time today. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still amazed that people used to navigate by looking at stars instead of yelling at GPS. Though honestly, the stars probably gave better directions than my phone does. LANE: Today we're exploring July 29th, a date that's brought us royal weddings, space achievements, and some very public displays of romantic poor judgment. DAVE: Speaking of July 29th, we got a voice memo from a listener. Sezso, what've you got? LISTENER VOICE MEMO SEZSO (as listener): [Sheepish, amused voice] Hey guys! July 29th, 2018, was the day I accidentally became internet famous for exactly fifteen minutes. I was at my cousin's wedding, and during the bouquet toss, I completely whiffed the catch, fell backward into the chocolate fountain, and took out half the dessert table. Someone filmed it, it went viral with 2.3 million views, and now I'm forever known as "Chocolate Fountain Guy" in my family. The bride thought it was hilarious, I got a lifetime ban from bouquet tosses, and honestly? Worth it for the story. Keep up the great work! LANE: That's actually amazing. You're probably the only person who can say they literally fell into fame via dessert table. DAVE: Plus you saved everyone from having to make awkward small talk about who was getting married next. True wedding hero, honestly. CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS LANE: Let's celebrate some July 29th birthdays! We've got Patti Scialfa, Bruce Springsteen's wife and E Street Band member, proving that marrying your bandmate can actually work out sometimes. DAVE: Also born today: Martina McBride, country music powerhouse who proved that women could rock just as hard as anyone else. And Geddy Lee from Rush, whose voice somehow made prog rock accessible to mortals. LANE: Can't forget Dag Hammarskjöld, born July 29th, 1905. UN Secretary-General who basically invented modern international diplomacy and somehow made bureaucracy noble. DAVE: Plus he wrote poetry and philosophy in his spare time, because apparently some people just have to overachieve at everything. SALACIOUS DAVE SEGMENT DAVE: Scandal time! July 29th, 1981, Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer in what was supposed to be a fairy tale wedding. But the salacious truth? Charles was deeply in love with someone else the entire time - Camilla Parker Bowles. LANE: Oh boy, here we go with royal drama. DAVE: The night before his wedding, Charles gave Camilla a bracelet engraved with "GF" - Gladys and Fred, their private pet names for each other. Diana found out about it and considered calling off the wedding, but it was too late to back out. LANE: Wait, he gave his mistress jewelry the night before marrying someone else? That's impressively terrible timing. DAVE: It gets worse! Charles admitted in a 1994 interview that he resumed his affair with Camilla in 1986, while Diana was struggling with bulimia and postnatal depression. Meanwhile, Diana started her own affair with James Hewitt, her riding instructor. LANE: So the fairy tale wedding was actually a love quadrangle with international implications? DAVE: Exactly! Their messy divorce in 1996 literally changed how the British monarchy handles marriage. Diana's famous "there were three of us in this marriage" interview exposed the whole scandal to 23 million viewers and basically forced the royal family to modernize their approach to relationships. LANE: So one prince's inability to break up properly before getting married changed centuries of royal protocol? DAVE: Pretty much! Charles eventually married Camilla in 2005, but only after Diana's death, a massive public relations disaster, and completely rewriting the rules about divorced royals remarrying. INNOVATION LANE SEGMENT LANE: Innovation time! July 29th, 1958, NASA was officially established, basically turning science fiction into a government agency with an actual budget. DAVE: That's more "bureaucratic creation" than innovation, Lane. LANE: But NASA immediately started innovating everything! Tang, Velcro, memory foam, water purification systems - NASA's space research accidentally improved life on Earth in ways they never planned. They were trying to get to the moon and ended up revolutionizing breakfast drinks. DAVE: So the innovation was "aim for space, accidentally improve everything else"? LANE: Exactly! Also July 29th, 1914, transcontinental telephone service began in the United States. Suddenly you could call someone 3,000 miles away, which must have been mind-blowing for people who were used to sending letters and hoping they arrived. DAVE: Though I bet the first cross-country phone call was probably just someone saying "Can you hear me now?" for twenty minutes. LANE: The first official call was actually from New York to San Francisco, and it cost about $100 in today's money for three minutes. Premium...
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