I truly believe that confidence doesn't start with changing yourself—it starts with understanding yourself.

We spend so much time searching for the next habit, routine or piece of self-improvement advice, but what if the foundation of real confidence, self-awareness and personal growth is simply learning to understand who you are?

In this episode, we're exploring why self-understanding can completely change the way you experience life. We talk about understanding the root of your behaviours instead of just trying to fix them, why your emotions are valuable information, and how becoming curious about yourself can help you build a stronger relationship with the person you'll spend your whole life with—you.

✨ Why self-understanding is the foundation of confidence

✨ Why self-improvement advice doesn't always create lasting change

✨ Why your emotions are valuable information, not something to suppress

✨ Carl Jung's concept of the shadow and how your unconscious mind influences your thoughts, emotions and behaviours

✨ How self-understanding changes the way you experience the world

✨ Practical ways to start building a stronger relationship with yourself

Resources mentioned:
🤍 Carl Jung's concept of The Shadow
🤍 Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Skills

Show Notes: https://toallthegirlsoutthere.com/understand-yourself-everything-will-change/

Whether you're on a journey of building confidence, healing old patterns, or simply wanting to understand yourself more deeply, I hope this episode reminds you that the most important relationship you'll ever build is the one you have with yourself.

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you shared it with someone who might need it too. Your support means the world and helps these conversations reach more girls. ♡

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss

Why do we try so hard to control how people see us?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

After finishing my counselling course, I realised that so many moments where I held myself back weren't because I had nothing to say, they came from one fear: being perceived in a way I didn't want to be.

In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, I'm reflecting on my own journey as a recovering people pleaser, why the fear of being judged can stop us from fully experiencing life, and the mindset shift that's helping me become more comfortable simply being seen.

We talk about:

✨ Why people pleasing isn't always a bad thing (and how it probably kept us safe)

✨ The fear of being perceived and how it shows up in everyday life

✨ Why trying to control other people's opinions is an impossible job

✨ The Adlerian psychology concept of Separation of Tasks from The Courage to Be Disliked

✨ How fear of judgment can stop us from showing people who we really are

✨ Learning to validate yourself instead of relying on other people's reactions

✨ Why peace comes from asking, "Am I proud of how I showed up?" rather than "What did everyone think of me?"

If you've ever worried about looking awkward, saying the wrong thing, or being misunderstood, I hope this episode reminds you that the goal isn't to stop being perceived, it's to become comfortable being perceived.

🤍 Journal prompts & full show notes

Read the full show notes, reflection questions, chapters and transcript here:

🔗 https://toallthegirlsoutthere.com/fear-of-being-perceived/

Episodes mentioned

✨ Episode with Marisa

✨ International Women's Day Special

✨ Fear of Getting it Wrong Episode

Books mentioned

✨ The Courage to Be Disliked

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you shared it with someone who might need it too. Your support means the world and helps these conversations reach more girls. 🤍

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss

Friendships have been one of the biggest mirrors in my life.

For years, I felt like I was always the one giving more, constantly disappointed, and wondering why friendships never felt as deep or safe as I wanted them to. It wasn't until I stopped chasing friendships, started doing the inner work, and met people who completely redefined what genuine sisterhood looked like that everything began to change.

In this episode, I'm sharing the lessons that transformed the way I experience friendship, from healing old friendship wounds and recognising my own blind spots to learning how to choose the people I allow into my life.

✨ Why looking inward changed my friendships more than blaming other people ever did

✨ The friendship wounds I didn't realise I was carrying

✨ How my counselling course completely changed the way I support my friends

✨ Why healthy friendships should feel safe, not like walking on eggshells

✨ How I choose my friends and why compatibility matters

✨ The importance of boundaries without becoming overly rigid

✨ Why different friends can serve different purposes in your life

✨ Learning to surrender the timeline of friendship and trust that the right people arrive at the right time

Whether you're struggling to make friends, grieving friendships that ended, or simply wanting deeper and healthier connections, I hope this episode reminds you that friendship starts with understanding yourself.

🤍 Journal prompts & show notes:
Read the full show notes, access all four reflection questions, and find everything mentioned in this episode here:

🔗 https://toallthegirlsoutthere.com/why-you-struggle-with-friendships/

Episodes mentioned:

• Episode with Marisa
• Episode with Miss Probett
• Unconditional Positive Regard, Empathy & Congruence

Creator mentioned:
✨ Alexis (Onion friendship analogy)

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you shared it with someone who might need it too. Your support means the world and helps these conversations reach more girls. 🤍

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss

In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, we're talking about something that quietly holds so many of us back: the fear of getting it wrong.

Whether it's making a big life decision, starting something new, speaking up, or simply worrying about looking stupid, the fear of making mistakes can keep us stuck for far longer than the mistake itself ever would.

We explore why we're so afraid of getting things wrong through the psychology of classical and operant conditioning, how our past experiences shape our relationship with mistakes, and why confidence might have less to do with always getting it right and more to do with trusting yourself when you don't.

We also discuss why overthinking and perfectionism can delay growth, how mistakes actually give us the information we need to make better decisions, and what it really means to build self-trust.

In this episode, we talk about:

✨ Why we're so afraid of making mistakes
✨ How classical and operant conditioning shape our fear of failure
✨ Why overthinking keeps us stuck
✨ The connection between confidence and getting it wrong
✨ How to change the meaning you attach to mistakes
✨ Practical ways to build self-trust and become a more confident decision-maker

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss

In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, we're talking about the pressure to always "know your worth," have high standards, and never get fooled, and why that mindset might be doing more harm than good.

Social media often tells us that if we're discerning enough, we'll never choose the wrong people or get hurt. But is that actually true? Or have we confused discernment with trying to control things that we can't?

This episode dives into:

✨ Why social media has changed the way we think about self-worth and standards
✨ The difference between discernment and control
✨ Why getting deceived isn't always a reflection of your wisdom
✨ How fear of looking "stupid" influences our decisions
✨ Why self-trust is more important than trying to predict every outcome
✨ How to respond with wisdom instead of fear when life doesn't go to plan

If you've ever blamed yourself for trusting the wrong person for judged another person for doing so, this episode is for you.

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss

In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, we’re talking about something uncomfortable but important: why we’ve become so comfortable with hating, judging, and watching other people fail.

From social media comment sections to celebrity downfall culture, we explore why someone else’s success can sometimes make us feel uncomfortable and why another person’s failure can bring a strange sense of relief.

We discuss schadenfreude, the psychology behind taking pleasure in someone else’s misfortune, and unpack what’s really going on beneath comparison, jealousy, resentment, and insecurity.

This episode dives into:

✨ Why social media has normalised hate culture
✨ The psychology of schadenfreude and comparison
✨ Why other people’s success can feel triggering
✨ How resentment and unresolved hurt can fuel negative reactions
✨ What your triggers reveal about your desires and insecurities
✨ How to shift from being a critic to becoming a supporter

📚 Mentioned in this episode:

Schadenfreude (taking pleasure in the pain of another)

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss

In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, we’re talking about the hidden side of personal growth, when productivity, discipline, and “becoming your best self” turn into pressure, comparison, and feeling like you’re never enough.

We explore toxic productivity, hustle culture, perfectionism, and the idea that your worth is not measured by how much you achieve. Self-development can be beautiful, but there’s a difference between growing from a place of self-love and trying to “fix” yourself because you don’t feel worthy.

This episode dives into:
✨ Why self-improvement can become unhealthy
✨ The difference between discipline and self-punishment
✨ How hustle culture affects our relationships, health, and happiness
✨ Redefining success beyond achievements
✨ Learning to balance ambition with rest, connection, and faith
✨ Trusting the process and letting go of the need to control everything

📚 Mentioned in this episode

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
We referenced Maslow’s model of human motivation during the episode. You can read more about it here:
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (overview)

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss

Hey Beautiful 💓In this episode of To All The Girls Out There (TATGOT) , I talk about something that genuinely shifted how I see people and myself — the core conditions from Carl Rogers.

It’s less of a “lesson” and more me sharing what I’ve been learning and how it’s been showing up in my life.I used to get really confused about how to hold my own beliefs while still being around people who think completely differently from me. I didn’t really know how to not judge people without feeling like I was losing myself in the process.

Learning about empathy, congruence, and unconditional positive regard helped me make sense of that in a really simple way.

In this episode I talk through:

• What empathy actually feels like in real life
• Learning to be honest with yourself without overthinking it
• Accepting people without needing to agree with them
• Practical examples of how this may show up in friendships, work, and everyday conversations
• And steps you can take to become more open minded

Things you may want to look at:

• Further reading on Carl Rogers' Core Conditions
• Level 2 Counselling Searcher (CPCAB) ( this has a centre finder where you can find the closest centres that do it for you or you can do it online ;))

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss