Why do we try so hard to control how people see us?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

After finishing my counselling course, I realised that so many moments where I held myself back weren't because I had nothing to say, they came from one fear: being perceived in a way I didn't want to be.

In this episode of To All The Girls Out There, I'm reflecting on my own journey as a recovering people pleaser, why the fear of being judged can stop us from fully experiencing life, and the mindset shift that's helping me become more comfortable simply being seen.

We talk about:

✨ Why people pleasing isn't always a bad thing (and how it probably kept us safe)

✨ The fear of being perceived and how it shows up in everyday life

✨ Why trying to control other people's opinions is an impossible job

✨ The Adlerian psychology concept of Separation of Tasks from The Courage to Be Disliked

✨ How fear of judgment can stop us from showing people who we really are

✨ Learning to validate yourself instead of relying on other people's reactions

✨ Why peace comes from asking, "Am I proud of how I showed up?" rather than "What did everyone think of me?"

If you've ever worried about looking awkward, saying the wrong thing, or being misunderstood, I hope this episode reminds you that the goal isn't to stop being perceived, it's to become comfortable being perceived.

🤍 Journal prompts & full show notes

Read the full show notes, reflection questions, chapters and transcript here:

🔗 https://toallthegirlsoutthere.com/fear-of-being-perceived/

Episodes mentioned

✨ Episode with Marisa

✨ International Women's Day Special

✨ Fear of Getting it Wrong Episode

Books mentioned

✨ The Courage to Be Disliked

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you shared it with someone who might need it too. Your support means the world and helps these conversations reach more girls. 🤍

Website👩🏽‍💻: toallthegirlsoutthere.com

Instagram📷: @toallthe_girlss