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Many partners expect relief when sobriety begins.
Instead, they may feel confused, guilty, and angry when everything is finally going well.

In this episode, Matt and Paige explore why anger often surfaces months or even years into recovery, not during the chaos itself. They break down how survival mode suppresses emotion, why the brain protects relationships through betrayal blindness, and how safety is often what allows buried feelings to finally emerge.

They also talk about the guilt partners feel for being angry once their loved one is doing everything right, why being grateful and angry can coexist, and how avoiding the past in the name of moving forward often creates more damage long term.

If you have ever asked yourself, “Why am I angry now?” this conversation will help you understand what is happening and what to do with it.

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Most partners think they’re “holding someone accountable,” but what they’re really doing is chasing accountability, forcing awareness, and slipping into shaming without realizing it. This episode cuts through all of that.

Paige breaks down the difference between identity attacks and behavior statements, why shame can be a driver for change but shaming never works, and how to communicate in a way that aligns with your values even when the person you’re talking to doesn’t change.

If you’ve ever wondered why your conversations escalate instead of resolve, or why “explaining it better” doesn’t help, this episode will give you the clarity you’ve been missing.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
www.twfo.com

Support the Show:
Buy Us a Coffee!

Online Program:
www.independentlystrong.com

Soberlink Device:
www.soberlink.com/wheels

Check out our blog:
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Find Taylor Counseling Group:
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In this Mindset Monday, Matt gets real about why the holidays are a pressure cooker for people in recovery and for the families who love them. He shares hard personal memories from his last Christmas in active addiction and his first Christmas sober, and breaks down the three stages of relapse, emotional, mental, and physical, so you can catch a slip long before a drink ever hits your hand. You will hear simple rules for getting through parties, travel, and family drama without “testing” your recovery, plus how to talk with your spouse about support without falling into codependent patterns. Matt also walks spouses through his three tiers of holiday invitations for someone in active addiction, from full invite with hard boundaries to separate, safer meetups, so you can protect your kids and the sanctity of the day without losing your mind. If this is your first sober Christmas or your first one on your own, this episode will help you grieve what was, create new traditions, and remember there is still a fire inside you and a future worth building.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
www.twfo.com

Support the Show:
Buy Us a Coffee!

Online Program:
www.independentlystrong.com

Soberlink Device:
www.soberlink.com/wheels

Check out our blog:
https://twfo.com/blog

Follow us on TikTok:
https://tiktok.com/@twfo_couple

Follow us on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/

Follow us on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCouple

Follow us on YouTube:
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Find Taylor Counseling Group:
https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/

Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:
Donate Here