This week, we cover Mel Gibson’s On the Line, one of the movies that’s designed to piss you off. If you want to get got by the most insane plot you can think of, then all you have to do is watch this one. Oh boy … say what you want about Mel Gibson; that son of a bitch knows story structure.

Here we go!

Mean muggin’ Mel mumbles and meanders, while menacing man murmurs of murder, making midnight merriment more mysterious and momentous! Dishing out the double dipsy-doo! Boys with Rob Roys! Frasierian semantics! Speedbaggin’ the pickle! Distressed heavy breather! Mary and Melvis’ many misdirections! Mel Gibson’s long, ropey penis, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Read the title!

Chris and Rob talk shit. It's fun.

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It’s good movie week, and after suffering through Little Fockers, we figured we’d revisit the OG, which we both remember fondly: 2000’s Meet the Parents. It’s the perfect comedy of errors that you, as a teenager, could watch with your girlfriend in the company of your boomer parents. It’s a solid, PG-13 rom-com that pushes right toward the edge and overall a solid movie.

Does Meet the Parents hold up like we hope it does? Tune in to find out!

Focker? Family! Philandering ex-fiancé figure! Flight, fight, lie detector fright? Finding father -in-law's furry feline after fire! Franchise framework fabricated for fun! Fuck, that’s funny! Piss walking to fingerpainting class! Munching on Pam’s bodega banana! Not Mr. Jinx as everyone thinks, but rather a spray painted Minx, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The BEST Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we get into Cosmic Sin; a film starring Bruce Willis that makes us feel really, really bad. He was sick when they worked on this, and we’re sick for trying to critique it. Funny enough, Bruce Willis is the best part of this film, which is a really nice way of saying that Frank Grillo sucks ass!

Seriously, Grill-o needs to chill, bro!

Bruce in budget blockbuster, brandishing blasters, bafflingly bellowing, breaking barriers, becoming broken! Blasting Q-bombs right up in their quantum space gate! Missed the universe for the trees! Quantum humans colonizing the cosmos! Roughnecks bumping uglies in the boonies! You gotta shoot them in the eyes? Ford fucks up the foreign fiends with a bazooka thing! Uncle army leader lets nephew join the war! Honing in on hostiles with the homies, unhappily! Traveling through the double ice cream light streams! Reverse rerolling the quantum energy into the space gate and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we’re unpacking the insanity that is Blank Check, a movie that’s somehow even weirder than its reputation suggests. Yes, we’ll get to the grown woman kissing an 11-year-old boy, because that’s every bit as baffling as you’ve heard. But that’s honestly the least surprising thing about a movie where fraud is rewarded, money solves everything, and everybody involved seems to be making the worst possible decision at all times.

BLANK CHECK!

Preston presses penis on a pedophile, pinching pennies and pushing on pussy! Apex predator in the kiddy pool! Shady Shay’s shady negotiations! Unlimited kid money montage! Sweat fruit semantics! Caught by Thin Diesel! Agent Shay’s adolescent attraction, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we’re all about unpacking 2010’s Little Fockers! The first one was good. The second one was just as good. The third one? Does anybody even remember watching this one? Well, those who did watch it HATE IT, and for good reason.

This movie cost $100 million to make, and it’s 97 minutes long. That’s over a million dollars a minute, and there wasn’t even a gazebo fire.

Gaylord Greg gets got as God-Focker, egregiously gagging on grandpa’s guile, guilt-tripping, and Goodfella’s and Godfather complex, gradually getting good graces from good gumption! Spite fucking Jessica Alba? It takes two to Sustaingo! Kosmo Kramer Jenga! Punching out bottom blocks! Rep on erectile dysfunction! Good, smooth insertions! Get interested in that pit! His one and only Pamcake! Hotties always getting jobbies! Extracting blood from a stone-boner, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we get into 2009’s Dragonball Evolution. I don’t watch any anime, and don’t even know what a Dragon Ball is. This movie is trash though. I know nothing about the lore, and was deeply upset. I could only imagine what it must have felt like to be that invested in a franchise, only for the dim-witted cum baby of Jessie Pinkman and the “Dude, You’re Getting a Dell” guy to be the reluctant hero on this loser’s journey.

Basically, Dragonball is Draggin’ Balls!

“Dude, you’re getting a Dell” guy dunks on demons and doesn’t die, unfortunately … den he uses da dragon balls! Big bag buffering in the barrens! Very not Dragonball-ish! Chi-Chi’s hot little box! Frenetic finger flaps! Piccolo force-choking a house! Dragonball energy seekers! Stone temple covered in karate people! Spraying your spirit gel! Evaporated meteor baby monkey lords! Chi-Chi’s karate-kid cooperation, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Ohhhh boy, Rob won the poll last week, which can only mean one thing: FUTURE FORCE, MOTHERFUCKER! This is a movie about David Carradine wearing a Nintendo Power Glove and being a fascist, while Bargain-Bin Snake Plissken runs amok in the background.

I honestly don’t know who we’re supposed to root for here!

Carradine crushes criminals, cries cacophonously, carelessly creeps with cripple communications, and cracks crime in his Cherokee Chief! Both digits are off! Future tech lightning fist! Dude definitely dead due to demolition of his Dodge diplomat! Department duty for detective David ! Bare-breasted bimbos! Electrofist technicians! Skull and skin semantics! Time-wasting tits, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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