This week, we get into 2002’s The Hot Chick, starring Rob Schneider. He’s afraid to pee his pretty pink little panties, but don’t worry, he’ll lead you to believe that they’re his girlfriend’s panties, because everybody pees in their girlfriend’s panties. We hear you can put your weed in there too.

What a fucking tragedy of a movie, but we’d be lying if we didn’t laugh at a few things.

Flabbergasting Freaky Friday flipperoo with former funny friend of fatally unfunny franchise, forgetting favorable feedback, floundering through farcical female facsimile, frivolous flirting, fraudulent femininity, frat-boy foolishness, freakish facial expressions, flaccid fart-fueled funnybusiness, forced friendship, fashion faux pas, fornication-adjacent fiascos, fundamentally flawed filmmaking, and a frankly fucking fascinating failure. Clive in his recliner! Rob’s in his grilled kimcheese era! Sandler cameo? Triple dippy dumpster doopie! Billy blowing off the Clive Steam ™! Girl guy gay gags, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we revisit 1993’s Demolition Man, a movie that we did years ago, and are revisiting again for some reason. We’ve both seen this movie a hundred times, and will probably watch it a hundred more times, and the jury’s still out on whether this one is “bad” or not. Misunderstood satire? Youbetcha. Hunka Chunka with Sandra Bullock? Pass me the Baja Blast, and let’s get frisky, San Angeles style!

He felt three shells down by the … nevermind!

Terrible terrorist takes on tyrannical taco town, ‘ttacking thumb twiddling tactile task forces … thankfully, tenacious s’Tallone, takes time to trade tertiary ‘telligence, while tearing ‘tagonist a new tooshie! Chris’ ham cans! What’s an Asian movie bus?! Brain-style ball bag! The fiendish Simon Phoenix! Sea shell stink palm! Two-ply profanity paper peel offs! General Dickfoot! Thawed thugs unleashing hell, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Blow it out your ass, goofball, because we’re getting into 1990’s Alienator! It’s Fred Olen Ray, so you get what you get, and don’t get upset!

Let’s gooooo!

Penal planet prisoner pounces on parole, perturbing preternatural Predator ‘personator, who pounces on party pack, petty police, and ‘pugnant poachers, punishing by preying, pounding, pummeling, and pacing the precinct, paying off as parody pastiche… probably! Penultimately punishing all parties! Kol’s crime collar! Rick, the Bud chugging asshole! Carol Jessica Parker? Triple Clipsy dibble dabble! Kol’s backyard brain sesh, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week we get into 1989’s Gleaming the Cube. Christian Slater. Tony Hawk. Rodney Mullen pulling stunt duty. Pizza hut. Murder. Skating. Espionage? What the fuck is a cube gleam? There’s so much to talk about, so let’s get right on to it, shall we?

Rambunctious rapscallions ripping the road with reckless rage, rampantly remediating ‘rruption and ripping like renegades while ramping for revenge! Pizza Hut chases in the Terminator tunnel! Major Asian vibes! Super hose water cuts! Christian Slater, Anger Skater! Kevin Bacon angrily dancing! Rummaging through daddy’s desk! Gleamin’ in the streets, cubin’ in the sheets! Car chase cop sandwich thing?!

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This week, we’ve got our engines revving for 1979’s Gas Pump Girls. It’s not what it sounds like. It’s actually about a bunch of girls who work at a gas station. Make sure you bust out your Titscope™ for this one, because there’s like 17 boobs in this movie that are prime oggle fodder. We’re gentlemen, though, so we’re really not into that. But if you are, email Rob or Chris for all the appropriate time stamps that they took for research purposes.

With that out of the way, let’s grab it, stick it in, squeeze it, and let it peter out!

Salacious sluts with super-duper selection of slippery sales strategies, succumb to sensual, sexy, slurping service station semantics! Showing tits and selling gas! Budget cuts between the boobies! Geriatric G-men on an angry honker hunt! Conjuring farts and sex! Hometown high school harlots hanging loose in halter tops! Graduate girl gown grounding! Ding dong dung heaps! Talking horny at the motorists! April’s snail trail! The girls get racist, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week we get into 2003’s The Core, which is basically a too-little-too-late Armageddon but instead of blowing up a giant asteroid to save Earth, they must blow up … Earth, to save Earth? The kid from Road Trip loves Xena and Hot Pockets, and knows how to get you free long distance calls for life with a Nokia brick and a gum wrapper. What a total fucking shit show.

Anyhow, here’s some alliterations and yelling!

Jumping Jehoshaphat, jam that janky, jerry-rigged javelin, Josh! ‘Jectiles jumpstarting the gyro jelly! A bevy of deadly issues! Chris’ ceiling screaming about Geena Davis! Double Jenkins! Communist scarfs! There’s like seven million pigeons now! Double minority points! Double dipsy doo? No! Double clipsy doo! Swank steering the Brazzmobile! One-on-one romance over science sequences! The Coliseum goes completely kablooey! Depths of hell delvers! Right into the crickle crack! Instant crust to mantle transitions? Kat and Bob get got by lava rock and go plippity plop into the magma spot! French Sean Bean! Unobtanium Titanic turds! Hotpocket scuba tubes, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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This week, we cover Mel Gibson’s On the Line, one of the movies that’s designed to piss you off. If you want to get got by the most insane plot you can think of, then all you have to do is watch this one. Oh boy … say what you want about Mel Gibson; that son of a bitch knows story structure.

Here we go!

Mean muggin’ Mel mumbles and meanders, while menacing man murmurs of murder, making midnight merriment more mysterious and momentous! Dishing out the double dipsy-doo! Boys with Rob Roys! Frasierian semantics! Speedbaggin’ the pickle! Distressed heavy breather! Mary and Melvis’ many misdirections! Mel Gibson’s long, ropey penis, and much, much more on this week’s episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!

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Read the title!

Chris and Rob talk shit. It's fun.

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