『The Virtual Couch』のカバーアート

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

著者： Tony Overbay LMFT
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The Virtual Couch is a mental health podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of experience who works with individuals and couples. Through relatable stories, practical psychology, and evidence-based tools, Tony helps listeners better understand relationships, parenting, addiction, emotional maturity, and personal growth, while also supporting those navigating faith crises and deconstruction from high-demand religions. The podcast offers clear strategies to break unhealthy patterns, improve communication, and build a more grounded sense of self while approaching life’s challenges with insight, clarity, and humor.Copyright 2026 The Virtual Couch 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • If You Can't Say No, Your Yes Doesn't Mean Anything: The Truth About Desire and Intimacy in Marriage

    If You Can't Say No, Your Yes Doesn't Mean Anything: The Truth About Desire and Intimacy in Marriage
    2026/09/23
    Most couples sign an unwritten contract about sex and intimacy, and the terms rarely get said out loud. Greg and Amy Langford, certified marriage and intimacy coaches and hosts of the “Undressing Intimacy” podcast, spent seventeen years as good partners, good friends, and good parents, but they couldn't figure out the intimacy piece. Amy's first no was hard to get to, and what came after it was the longer work, because saying no meant she then had to answer what she actually wanted, in a marriage where she had handed her sexuality over entirely and believed her job was to keep Greg happy. Episode highlights: Hear why Greg came to see the hiding as more damaging to the marriage than the pornography itself, and what changed when "you're an addict and always will be" stopped being the frame Follow Amy past the no into "what do I want," "what's possible," and the work of taking up space Steal their nightly emotion check-in: five minutes each, no responding, no fact-checking, no fixing Try simmering, ten minutes of non-demand physical touch borrowed from Dr. Stephen Snyder Sort your marriage into two buckets, domestic and erotic, swap high and low desire for spontaneous and responsive, and see why the tools that build one bucket can flatten the other Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has worked with well over 1,500 couples across 20-plus years, with advanced training in betrayal trauma. Greg and Amy are coming back for a listener Q&A, so send in your questions. Their podcast is Undressing Intimacy, with new episodes Tuesday mornings, and you can find their coaching, group program, and free webinar at https://langfordlifecoaching.com/ Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Episode Setup 00:41 Why Talk Sex and Intimacy 05:13 Meet Greg and Amy 06:33 Their Coaching Origin Story 09:46 Amy’s Path Into Coaching 13:49 Honesty and Family Change 14:42 Porn Discovery and Shame 19:58 Unwritten Marriage Contract 22:56 Rejection and Direct Requests 24:34 From Enmeshment to Independence 29:09 Learning to Say No 40:23 Choosing Yourself Creates Desire 41:40 Emotional Regulation Basics 43:39 Nightly Emotion Check-In 45:17 Morning Simmering Ritual 48:45 Two Buckets of Marriage 50:26 Wrong Tools Kill Desire 53:23 Spontaneous vs Responsive Desire 55:35 Safety Without Timeframes 01:01:12 Anxious Avoidant Work 01:04:23 Greg's Validation Journey 01:11:30 Beliefs That Changed 01:15:52 Where to Find Them
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    1 時間 18 分
  • Why Good People Defend Leaders (and Others) Who Contradict Themselves: Identity, Bias & Belonging

    Why Good People Defend Leaders (and Others) Who Contradict Themselves: Identity, Bias & Belonging
    2026/09/24
    Tony starts with a kid raised in an East Coast fishing town and another raised hiking Arizona trails. He uses them to show how beliefs tend to form through family, community, and identity, with the reasons showing up later. Then he brings the same lens to politics from a neutral place. He looks at how a trusted "Uncle Mike" can shape which questions feel worth asking, and why changing your mind can get psychologically expensive when your people are on the line. Along the way he makes the case that changing your mind can be a sign your mind is working. In this episode: Understand confabulation, the way the mind builds sincere explanations for a belief after the fact, with no dishonesty required See how authority bias and confirmation bias work together, from what you type into a search bar to the evidence that ends up feeling convincing Recognize when certainty is working as armor, and what emotionally mature leaders do with disagreement, uncertainty, and their own contradictions Try a question that can get you further than "what evidence do I have?": who taught me to look at this in the first place, and what information would help me reconsider? Practice understanding without agreement, so you can keep your convictions and still stay curious about the person across the table Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals and couples move from defensiveness toward curiosity and connection. Give it a listen, and maybe add one follow-up question to your week: how did I come to believe that? I'd love to hear what came up for you, so send me a message or drop it in the comments. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:54 Fishing Town Identity 02:56 When Someone Hates Fishing 05:44 Politics as Fishing 08:14 Confabulation Explained 09:56 Authority Bias and Uncle Mike 13:42 Confirmation Bias in Search 15:20 Flip Side Conservation Lens 16:45 Hiking Permits Debate 19:48 Belonging Versus Being Right 21:58 Choosing Political Authorities 24:54 Cognitive Dissonance and Rationalizing 27:24 Identity Cost of Changing Minds 29:18 Certainty as Armor 30:12 Leader Follower Tradeoff 31:08 Questions for Leaders 32:16 Biases Hit Everyone 34:12 Confidence vs Insecurity 36:28 Uncle Mike Example 38:10 Groupthink Ecosystem 39:19 Why Followers Stay 41:34 Reconsidering Evidence 43:10 Healthy Leadership Model 45:11 Turn the Lens Inward 47:03 Understanding Without Agreement 48:49 Changing Minds Is Growth 51:20 Closing Thoughts and Outro
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    53 分
  • Stuck in the Messy Middle: Grief, Divorce, and Emotional Immaturity - Live Q&A with Tony Overbay

    Stuck in the Messy Middle: Grief, Divorce, and Emotional Immaturity - Live Q&A with Tony Overbay
    2026/09/10
    Was it narcissistic abuse, or were you the problem? Why does the fog lift after a divorce, and you still can't trust your own judgment? In this second live therapist Q&A, moderated by Tony's daughter Sydney, almost every question came from someone in the middle of something: a divorce after ten years of marriage, an only child clearing out her late mom's house, a man texting a grieving partner and hearing nothing back, a listener whose therapist of eight years had died. Tony opens with why the brain, a prediction engine that wants certainty now, grabs the nearest story and runs with it. Then he catches himself doing exactly that on air, and leaves it in. In this episode you'll: Reframe "am I the narcissist?" into a question that can get you further: what happened to you in the relationship, and who were you becoming inside it Recognize "making the right mouth sounds," where "You're right, I'm the problem" brings relief for both people, and the effort for change never arrives Use the four pillars of a connected conversation when every issue you raise gets turned back on you Notice the pathologically kind pattern of absorbing blame that was never yours to carry Stay in grief, estrangement, and overthinking without a formula, with a nod to Dr. Joshua Coleman's Rules of Estrangement and a passage from Alex Michaelides' The Fury on the child still waiting inside the adult Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than 20 years of experience helping individuals and couples untangle emotional immaturity, high-conflict dynamics, and the stories the brain tells in the meantime. If you have a question you didn't get to ask, send it to contact@tonyoverbay.com or through tonyoverbay.com, and there's a good chance Tony opens the next live with it. He also mentions scholarship spots for his revamped Magnetic Marriage course for anyone who was on the live. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Where to Follow 00:48 Mindfully Sick Storytime 03:25 The Messy Middle Theme 05:48 Brain as Prediction Engine 06:21 Jumping to Conclusions Live 09:03 Emotional Maturity and Safety 11:26 Discomfort and Relationship Dynamics 13:57 Live Q&A Begins 14:37 Divorce and Narcissism Question 19:39 Losing Yourself in Marriage 21:38 Journaling and Memory Doubt 23:47 Grief and Cleaning Out House 30:16 Self-Harm and Finding Help 32:15 Always the Problem Partner 34:16 Four Pillars Conversation Tool 37:11 Threats and Boundaries 39:14 Betrayal and Blame Shifting 41:21 Silent Since July Confusion 44:04 Supporting Grief Withdrawals 45:03 Grief Stages Mythbusting 47:15 Interdependence and Reaching Out 49:41 Boundaries and Respect 50:03 Breaking Things Abuse Cycle 51:18 Overthinking and Rumination 52:30 Accountability Versus Change 54:30 Leaving on Your Timeline 57:04 Estrangement and Parent Ego 01:00:46 Validation and Differentiation 01:07:24 Inner Child and IFS 01:13:47 Therapist Loss and Closure 01:16:10 Final Thanks and Next Live
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    1 時間 17 分
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