『The Virtual Couch』のカバーアート

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

著者： Tony Overbay LMFT
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 The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.Copyright 2025 The Virtual Couch 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • Stop Managing Your Partner's Emotions: How One Couple Broke Free From the Anxious-Avoidant Trap

    Stop Managing Your Partner's Emotions: How One Couple Broke Free From the Anxious-Avoidant Trap
    2025/11/21
    Have you ever found yourself calculating what to say when your partner is upset—choosing words to manage their emotions rather than speaking your truth? In this episode, Tony shares the breakthrough story of a couple navigating financial betrayal and the exhausting cycle of emotional management that kept them stuck. Through Mark and Sarah's journey from reactive patterns to authentic connection, you'll discover the five elements of differentiated intimacy and why trying to make your partner "okay" with uncomfortable truths actually prevents genuine healing. Tony breaks down how anxious and avoidant attachment styles create complementary patterns of pursuit and withdrawal, and why both strategies are really about the same thing: controlling the other person's emotional state rather than being present to it. BONUS SECTION: Tony responds to overwhelming listener feedback from his recent co-regulation series by explaining the neuroscience behind Mark and Sarah's breakthrough. Learn about Ed Tronick's famous "Still Face Experiment," how childhood co-regulation failures create adult attachment wounds, and why healing requires nervous system-level change—not just better communication skills. Perfect for you if: You're exhausted from walking on eggshells or constantly pursuing connection You recognize yourself in anxious or avoidant attachment patterns You're recovering from betrayal (financial, emotional, or otherwise) in your relationship You want to understand why the same conflicts keep repeating You're curious about the neuroscience of relationship healing Topics covered: The difference between managing emotions and being present to them Five elements of differentiated intimacy in action How to hold incompatible truths without relationship collapse The anxious-avoidant trap explained through nervous system dynamics Co-regulation: from childhood patterns to adult healing Why secure attachment can be earned at any age 00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview 00:37 Imagining Relationship Scenarios 02:56 Understanding Emotional Management 03:56 Exploring Co-Regulation in Relationships 07:33 Case Study: Mark and Sarah's Financial Infidelity 13:54 Breakthrough Session: Honest Communication 21:45 The Real Work of Differentiation 23:22 Mark and Sarah's Emotional Breakthrough 24:38 Key Lessons from the Breakthrough 25:34 Managing Emotions vs. Genuine Intimacy 28:06 Questions for Self-Reflection 29:29 Understanding Co-Regulation 30:53 The Still Face Experiment 33:36 Mark and Sarah's Attachment Styles 35:54 The Anxious-Avoidant Trap 37:11 Breakthrough in Therapy 40:38 The Role of Co-Regulation in Healing 41:39 Neuroplasticity and Secure Attachment 45:48 Final Thoughts and Resources Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
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    49 分
  • Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) — Part 2

    Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) — Part 2
    2025/11/04
    In Part 2 of Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them), Tony Overbay, LMFT, continues the story of Jack and Jill — a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he’s worked with in therapy. But this time, the story shifts. What happens when children grow up with emotional safety, repair, and consistency? What does love look like when it’s modeled, not managed — when connection feels safe instead of chaotic? Tony explores how secure attachment is formed through co-regulation, how parents teach emotional safety through presence instead of fixing, and how those lessons echo into adulthood — shaping how we love, argue, and connect. Through rich storytelling and neuroscience-backed insights, you’ll learn: • What healthy co-regulation sounds like in real life • Why conflict in secure relationships feels safe, not scary • How consistent emotional repair rewires the brain • Why secure partners are drawn to emotional availability, not intensity • How “earned secure attachment” and therapy can break old patterns This episode isn’t just a look at what healthy relationships sound like — it’s a roadmap for how to build one. Because your past might explain your patterns, but it doesn’t have to define your future. 00:00 Introduction and Recap of Part One 01:23 Understanding Attachment Styles 02:25 Exploring Jill's Childhood 03:16 Exploring Jack's Childhood 04:58 Healthy Emotional Regulation 06:44 Jill's Healthy Emotional Development 21:10 Jack's Healthy Emotional Development 31:28 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics 35:04 Healthy Communication in Relationships 36:06 The Importance of Secure Attachment 37:08 Navigating Stress and Boundaries 40:06 Conflict Resolution and Compromise 41:43 Building a Secure Relationship 52:55 The Role of Childhood in Adult Relationships 01:02:29 The Power of Therapy and Self-Work 01:08:52 Final Thoughts on Relationship Growth Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
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    1 時間 12 分
  • Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) pt. 1

    Why You Fell for Your Partner (and Why You Keep Fighting Them) pt. 1
    2025/10/29
    What if the way you love — and the way you fight — were both written long before you met your partner? Tony Overbay, LMFT, reveals how your nervous system learned to react to love, conflict, and vulnerability decades before your first date — and how those patterns still show up today. In this episode, Tony introduces Jack and Jill, a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he has worked with over 20 years in therapy. Their story illustrates two common attachment patterns — one anxious, one avoidant — and how they collide in the classic pursue-withdraw cycle that leaves both partners feeling unseen, unsafe, and alone. Through relatable narrative, clinical insight, and real-world examples, you’ll learn: • How childhood emotional experiences shape relationship expectations • Why your partner’s reactions can feel like rejection (even when they aren’t) • How anxiety and withdrawal both come from trying to feel safe • Why repeating the same argument isn’t failure — it’s a nervous system loop • What has to change before communication skills even matter This episode will help you finally understand why you fell for your partner… and why the very things that drew you together now drive you apart. Whether you identify with Jill’s pursuit for reassurance or Jack’s retreat into silence, you’ll start to see the deeper story inside your relationship — the one your body has been telling long before you could put it into words. Stay tuned for Part 2, where Tony will explore an entirely different path — one where emotional safety is modeled, repair is possible, and connection doesn’t have to hurt. 00:00 Introduction: The Hidden Stories of Our Reactions 00:41 Understanding Nervous System Responses 02:01 The Impact of Childhood Experiences 02:34 Modern Relationships and Nervous System Patterns 04:08 Meet Jack and Jill: A Case Study 09:09 Jill's Story: A Childhood of Emotional Instability 13:14 Jack's Story: Learning to Withdraw 16:43 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics 21:18 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle 27:23 Paths to Healing and Connection 29:44 Conclusion: Moving Forward with Awareness Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com
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    33 分
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