『The Virtual Couch』のカバーアート

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

著者： Tony Overbay LMFT
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概要
 The Virtual Couch is a mental health podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of experience who works with individuals and couples. Through relatable stories, practical psychology, and evidence-based tools, Tony helps listeners better understand relationships, parenting, addiction, emotional maturity, and personal growth, while also supporting those navigating faith crises and deconstruction from high-demand religions. The podcast offers clear strategies to break unhealthy patterns, improve communication, and build a more grounded sense of self while approaching life’s challenges with insight, clarity, and humor.Copyright 2026 The Virtual Couch 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
エピソード
  • Nobody Brings a Casserole When You Wake Up to Betrayal: The Accommodator, Gaslighting, and Rebuilding Trust

    Nobody Brings a Casserole When You Wake Up to Betrayal: The Accommodator, Gaslighting, and Rebuilding Trust
    2026/11/04
    Waking up to betrayal, gaslighting, or emotional immaturity rarely comes with a casserole on the porch or a meal train. When someone has a baby or a surgery, people can see the event and show up with dinner. When you discover a double life, or realize you have no opinions as an adult because someone spent years telling you how to think and feel, the loss is usually invisible from the street. Tony explores why the person who has spent years reading moods, keeping dinner pleasant, and making the room comfortable for everyone else can struggle to notice that they are the one who needs care right now. In this episode: Meet the accommodator, the pathologically kind partner who can hear “I’m fine” from two rooms away and turn “I wanted Italian” into “Mexican sounds great” before anyone checks a wait time Hear Tony’s “you know me” story from a motor home drive across Nevada with his mom, a cigarette, and a childhood memory that needed revising before it could be accepted Understand why “I should have known” can seem productive, and how acceptance opens up the question of what to do next Learn how staggered disclosure trains a couple to talk about betrayal in pieces from the very first day Start small by noticing a preference before calculating what it will cost to say it out loud Tony Overbay, LMFT, brings more than 20 years as a couples therapist, advanced training in betrayal trauma, and his own experience growing up with an emotionally immature parent. This is part one of two. If this episode put words to something you’ve been carrying, consider sharing a little of it with one person you trust, and join me for part two, where we follow the accommodator and the emotionally immature partner back to their origin stories. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:50 Food Gifts Storytime 05:16 When No One Brings Help 09:56 Betrayal Rewrites Memories 12:41 Gaslighting and Isolation 17:28 Acceptance Over Shame 21:39 What Counts as Betrayal 26:53 Trust After Discovery 36:14 Statements vs Questions 43:05 Holding Space Practice 47:26 Relationship As Mirror 48:49 Blind Spots Not Selfish 50:16 Rebuilding Trust Slowly 51:18 Staggered Disclosure Trap 54:48 Try The Uncomfortable Sentence 57:45 Origin Of The Accommodator 01:01:27 Dinner Negotiation Example 01:04:13 You Know Me Syndrome 01:09:51 Nevada Road Trip Reality Check 01:15:50 Confabulation And Self-Silencing 01:20:36 Finding Your Preferences Again 01:23:37 Small Practices And Closing
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    1 時間 29 分
  • Nobody Brings a Casserole When You Wake Up to Betrayal: The Accommodator, Gaslighting, and Rebuilding Trust

    Nobody Brings a Casserole When You Wake Up to Betrayal: The Accommodator, Gaslighting, and Rebuilding Trust
    2026/11/04
    Waking up to betrayal, gaslighting, or emotional immaturity rarely comes with a casserole on the porch or a meal train. When someone has a baby or a surgery, people can see the event and show up with dinner. When you discover a double life, or realize you have no opinions as an adult because someone spent years telling you how to think and feel, the loss is usually invisible from the street. Tony explores why the person who has spent years reading moods, keeping dinner pleasant, and making the room comfortable for everyone else can struggle to notice that they are the one who needs care right now. In this episode: Meet the accommodator, the pathologically kind partner who can hear “I’m fine” from two rooms away and turn “I wanted Italian” into “Mexican sounds great” before anyone checks a wait time Hear Tony’s “you know me” story from a motor home drive across Nevada with his mom, a cigarette, and a childhood memory that needed revising before it could be accepted Understand why “I should have known” can seem productive, and how acceptance opens up the question of what to do next Learn how staggered disclosure trains a couple to talk about betrayal in pieces from the very first day Start small by noticing a preference before calculating what it will cost to say it out loud Tony Overbay, LMFT, brings more than 20 years as a couples therapist, advanced training in betrayal trauma, and his own experience growing up with an emotionally immature parent. This is part one of two. If this episode put words to something you’ve been carrying, consider sharing a little of it with one person you trust, and join me for part two, where we follow the accommodator and the emotionally immature partner back to their origin stories. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com 00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:50 Food Gifts Storytime 05:16 When No One Brings Help 09:56 Betrayal Rewrites Memories 12:41 Gaslighting and Isolation 17:28 Acceptance Over Shame 21:39 What Counts as Betrayal 26:53 Trust After Discovery 36:14 Statements vs Questions 43:05 Holding Space Practice 47:26 Relationship As Mirror 48:49 Blind Spots Not Selfish 50:16 Rebuilding Trust Slowly 51:18 Staggered Disclosure Trap 54:48 Try The Uncomfortable Sentence 57:45 Origin Of The Accommodator 01:01:27 Dinner Negotiation Example 01:04:13 You Know Me Syndrome 01:09:51 Nevada Road Trip Reality Check 01:15:50 Confabulation And Self-Silencing 01:20:36 Finding Your Preferences Again 01:23:37 Small Practices And Closing
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    1 時間 29 分
  • Your AI Is a Great Hype-Man - A Therapist Has a Few Notes (Plus Live QA)

    Your AI Is a Great Hype-Man - A Therapist Has a Few Notes (Plus Live QA)
    2026/10/14
    Using AI as a therapist? Your chatbot might be building a great plan for the person you’re hoping to become. When a client’s chatbot asked if he was an extroverted go-getter, he answered as the man he’s working toward, and the AI wrote him a solid plan he couldn’t stick to. Tony explores why AI tools tend to agree with us, what that has in common with the people-pleasers in our own lives, and what you can learn from reading your side of the conversation out loud. Then he and his daughter Sydney take your questions in a late-night TikTok Live Q&A. Episode highlights: Understand why chatbots lean sycophantic, and what a Stanford study found when it ran 11 AI models through real interpersonal conflicts Recognize the three layers of sycophancy in The Emperor’s New Clothes, from the swindlers to the people-pleasing ministers to the crowd Learn the difference between self-explaining and self-examining, and how a 90% solid, 10% flexible sense of self leaves room to grow Get answers on when it’s time to stop therapy, whether true crime affects your mental health, the anxious-avoidant loop, and why ACT calls the brain a “don’t get killed device” Hear Tony’s five rules for interacting with someone emotionally immature or narcissistic, plus how a trauma bond can affect your memory Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has worked with more than 1,500 couples over 20+ years and builds AI tools for his own practice. If you have a chatbot thread on your phone, try reading your side of it out loud and asking who was answering: the person who shows up every day or the person you’re working toward. Then send Tony your questions for the next Live. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch, on TikTok @virtualcouch, on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com Try the electrolyte drink Tony mentioned during this episode! Go to https://thegoodnutrition.com?bg_ref=7ziYAxnL8L for 15% off your entire order plus free shipping! 00:00 Welcome and Setup 00:41 Client Brings Chatbot 04:33 Why AI Feels Easy 05:12 Co-regulation Explained 07:26 Doctors and AI Pushback 08:55 Projection and Therapist Fear 09:59 When Bots Validate Too Much 12:36 Therapy Use Is Exploding 13:38 Sycophancy Defined 15:00 Emperor's New Clothes 16:29 Narcissism and System Effects 18:47 Studies on AI Agreeableness 19:51 Self-Explaining Machine 22:29 Bring Threads to Therapy 22:56 TikTok Live Begins 24:11 Therapist Using ChatGPT 26:13 Tony AI Notes Workflow 27:54 When To Stop Therapy 29:07 Crisis Sessions Versus Growth 31:02 Therapy Retainer Model 32:51 Sales Page Detour 34:57 Disagreeing With Coaches 36:31 Selling Destination Not Vehicle 38:08 The Shady Course Trap 38:25 Course Upsell Trap 38:50 Amen Clinic Brain Scans 39:46 True Crime Mental Effects 42:44 Couples Conflict and Control 45:04 Differentiation and Maturity 49:08 Hydration Sponsor Break 51:46 Therapy as Hangout Space 53:13 Healing Insecurity in Marriage 56:35 Insurance and Coaching Options 01:02:02 Codependency Awakening Stages 01:06:59 Relationship Attack Surfaces 01:08:00 Therapy Access and Sliding Scale 01:09:12 Finding the Right Therapist 01:10:27 Bald Story Break 01:11:19 ACT Versus CBT Explained 01:13:22 Why Days Feel Repetitive 01:17:31 Telehealth Licensing and Coaching 01:19:04 Trauma Bonds and CPTSD 01:23:54 Five Rules With Narcissists 01:26:32 Self-Explain Versus Self-Examine 01:28:41 Wrapping Up and Resources 01:30:03 Dog Cameo and Goodbye
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    1 時間 32 分
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