『The Virtual Couch』のカバーアート

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

著者： Tony Overbay LMFT
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 The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.Copyright 2025 The Virtual Couch 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • Genuine Curiosity: Not All Questions Are Equal – Are You Trying to Understand, Defend, Manipulate, or Control?

    Genuine Curiosity: Not All Questions Are Equal – Are You Trying to Understand, Defend, Manipulate, or Control?
    2025/06/26
    Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Host Background 01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity 02:04 A Personal Story About Curiosity 08:50 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity in Relationships 19:10 Self-Regulation and Emotional Maturity 24:18 Promoting Genuine Curiosity in Parenting 26:17 The Role of Humility in Curiosity 29:41 Healthy Ego vs. Defensive Narcissism 35:03 The Neuroscience of Decision Making and Emotions 37:06 The Power of Slowing Down 37:36 Understanding Emotions: Primary, Secondary, and Instrumental 41:02 Exploring Anger in Relationships 42:48 Trusting Your Gut and Emotional Reasoning 45:41 Addressing Men's Emotional Immaturity 48:55 Real-Life Examples of Genuine Curiosity 53:42 Parenting with Curiosity 55:09 Curiosity in Marriage and Workplace 59:47 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Tools 01:02:15 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation 01:05:20 Final Thoughts and Takeaways Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.
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    1 時間 9 分
  • Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC

    Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don’t Manage You by Ethan Kross - Virtual Couch Book Club w/Marla Christiansen, APCC
    2025/06/03
    Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners actionable strategies for emotional management. Tony opens the episode by explaining how common parental phrases, such as "it's not a big deal" or "just don't worry about it," can unintentionally hinder emotional expression in adulthood, setting the stage for struggles with managing emotions later in life. This discussion offers valuable insights for individuals seeking to understand better and manage their emotions. 00:00 A Touching Parenting Moment 02:22 Introduction to the Virtual Couch 02:31 Book Club: Managing Emotions 03:16 The Importance of Emotional Awareness 03:37 Understanding Emotional Language 04:44 The Disconnect from Emotions 06:01 Introducing Dr. Ethan Cross's 'Shift' 06:23 Meet Marla Christiansen 07:33 Exploring Emotional Concepts from 'Shift' 07:46 The Complexity of Emotions 08:05 Practical Tools for Emotional Management 08:20 The Power of Distanced Self-Talk 08:37 External Influences on Emotions 09:02 Body Awareness and Emotions 09:12 Navigating Difficult Emotions 09:24 Impact of Social Media and Cultural Factors 09:37 Appreciating Emotions as Information 10:18 Book Club Discussion: 'Shift' by Dr. Ethan Cross 10:30 Starting the Interview with Marla Christensen 11:24 Diving into Emotional Regulation 11:43 Book Club Insights and Personal Reflections 22:58 The Law of Least Work 25:01 Exploring Low-Cost Emotional Shifts 25:40 Understanding Attention and Perspective 26:10 Navigating Emotional Avoidance and Approach 27:27 The Power of Reframing 29:29 Distanced Self-Talk: A Unique Approach 31:07 Shifting Emotions Through Environment 33:44 The Role of Relationships in Emotional Shifts 37:24 Cultural Influences on Emotions 39:37 The Impact of Comparison 42:37 Practical Tools for Emotional Mastery 44:06 Final Thoughts and Resources
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    23 分
  • Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships - Part 2: The Path to Emotional Maturity - The Climb Out

    Childhood Survival Skills That Sabotage Your Adult Relationships - Part 2: The Path to Emotional Maturity - The Climb Out
    2025/05/27
    What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships? In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life. Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familiar emotional tools only digs you deeper into relationship problems. When someone offers you a ladder out of your patterns, why do you keep trying to dig with it instead? This episode reveals how to recognize when it's time to put down the shovel of old coping strategies and climb toward something completely different. Meet the clients who've made this transformation: the chronic fixer who learned to ask "what do you need from me?" instead of immediately solving, the humor-deflector who shocked a room into silence by sharing something real, and the lifelong people-pleaser whose hands shook as she said "no" for the first time—and discovered her marriage actually got stronger. You'll explore Terry Real's revolutionary insight that childhood adaptations become adult roadblocks, learn the art of re-parenting yourself with compassion instead of criticism, and discover why emotional maturity isn't about never falling into old patterns—it's about recognizing when you're there and having new tools to respond. Whether you struggle with hypervigilance, perfectionism, control issues, or people-pleasing tendencies, this episode offers a shame-free framework for honoring your inner child's brilliant survival strategies while empowering your adult self to take the lead. Because growth isn't about eliminating your protective parts—it's about expanding your repertoire of responses and choosing consciously instead of reacting automatically. Ready to stop digging and start climbing? Your ladder awaits. 00:00 Introduction and Recap 01:23 The Story of Tyler 03:53 Tyler's Realization and Therapy 09:39 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Metaphor 15:46 Revisiting Emotional Immaturity 19:30 Reparenting Yourself 25:05 Examples of Reparenting in Action 29:00 Exploring Emotional Immaturity Traits 40:54 Recognizing and Validating Emotions 42:47 Dependence on External Validation 48:54 Taking Ownership and Accountability 51:49 Mind Reading and Communication 01:03:55 Hypervigilance and Emotional Containment 01:07:12 Perfectionism and Control 01:11:49 Integration and Emotional Maturity 01:15:57 Real-Life Examples of Emotional Growth 01:22:05 The Journey of Emotional Maturity
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    1 時間 26 分

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