『The Virtual Couch』のカバーアート

The Virtual Couch

The Virtual Couch

著者： Tony Overbay LMFT
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The Virtual Couch is a mental health podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a licensed marriage and family therapist with more than two decades of experience who works with individuals and couples. Through relatable stories, practical psychology, and evidence-based tools, Tony helps listeners better understand relationships, parenting, addiction, emotional maturity, and personal growth, while also supporting those navigating faith crises and deconstruction from high-demand religions. The podcast offers clear strategies to break unhealthy patterns, improve communication, and build a more grounded sense of self while approaching life’s challenges with insight, clarity, and humor.Copyright 2026 The Virtual Couch 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
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  • The Unicorn Might Have Rabies: How Anxiety Keeps You "Safe" - Live Q&A

    The Unicorn Might Have Rabies: How Anxiety Keeps You "Safe" - Live Q&A
    2026/08/24
    Anxious-avoidant attachment, emotionally immature in-laws, panic attacks, and what if the unicorn has rabies? Tony tackles his first live Q&A in a year, where you’ll hear answers to these questions and many more. Recorded live with daughter Sydney moderating, Tony takes real questions from real listeners: what happens when you spot narcissistic traits in your spouse's parent before they do, how to stop reacting and start building the pause, and the complete origin story of the anxious-avoidant loop — the pattern he sees in almost every couple who walks into his office. If you keep pursuing while your partner withdraws, this episode names what's actually happening between those two nervous systems. EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: Understand why handing your spouse the word "narcissist" for their own parent asks them to reinterpret an entire childhood — and what tends to work instead. Move through the four stages of awakening, from "you don't know what you don't know" to unconscious competence. Separate observation from judgment ("she hasn't texted back" vs. "she doesn't care about me") using the pre-pillar of Tony's four pillars of a connected conversation. Meet Jack and Jill: how anxious and avoidant partners find each other, fall into the pursue-withdraw dynamic, and begin to break the loop. Work with your biology during a panic attack — extended exhales, co-regulation, and why being told to "calm down" triggers psychological reactance. Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has spent more than 20 years — and 15 to 20 couples a week — watching these patterns play out in real time. Want the free Anxious-Avoidant Loop PDF handout Tony reads from in this episode? Email contact@tonyoverbay.com and he'll send it your way, along with his related episode list. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on TikTok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
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    1 時間 6 分
  • Taking the Long Way Home: Homer as Your Therapist, The Odyssey as Your Map

    Taking the Long Way Home: Homer as Your Therapist, The Odyssey as Your Map
    2026/08/14
    Emotional maturity takes the long way home, and Homer's Odyssey has been quietly saying so for 2,800 years. Underneath Christopher Nolan's new adaptation sits a poem that Tony thinks is one of the best pieces of therapy literature ever written, and almost nobody reads it that way. The monsters aren't the point — they're the muse. Every obstacle Odysseus meets is asking whether he's willing to become somebody different, and if you've been away too long from your sense of self, from the marriage you thought you'd have, from the body you used to trust, from the faith that used to hand you certainty, or from the person you were sure you'd be by now, this one tends to land. In this episode: Meet the Lotus Eaters as experiential avoidance — coping that doesn't start as self-sabotage, it starts because it works, and then it quietly moves the destination Borrow a rule from Tony's ultra-running days, beware of the chair, and notice how many races end beside a space heater rather than on a cliff Tie yourself to the mast with a Ulysses contract, the decision your calm Tuesday afternoon self makes on behalf of your 11 p.m. Friday night self Watch the Cyclops moment show up in a marriage, when "See, I told you so" reaches back and drags a conflict you'd already escaped into your future Sit with David Schnarch's differentiation, and the difference between other-validated and self-validated intimacy Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has spent over twenty years watching people discover they didn't know what they didn't know. This is part one — part two takes on Schnarch's four points of balance. If the poem stirred something up for you, send it Tony's way and it may end up in the next episode. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
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    1 時間 7 分
  • “Killed Them All, Of Course": The Mind of Robert Durst w/Attorney Kate

    “Killed Them All, Of Course": The Mind of Robert Durst w/Attorney Kate
    2026/08/06
    Content warning: This episode includes discussion of homicide, dismemberment, and domestic violence. Listener discretion advised. Robert Durst confessed on a hot mic — but the real story is watching a man confabulate in real time, for decades, and nearly get away with it. In the first-ever Murder on the Couch guest episode, Tony is joined by his friend Kate, a civil attorney and lifelong true crime devotee, to break down the case behind HBO's The Jinx. Kate presents the case — the 1982 disappearance of Kathie Durst, the murder of Susan Berman, the Morris Black acquittal that still defies belief — while Tony reacts in real time with the psychology underneath it all: confabulation, childhood adaptations, and what actually happens when someone is finally confronted with a lie they can't tap-dance out of. In this episode, you'll discover: Why memory is "adorable and fallible" — and how the legal system's hierarchy of evidence accounts for exactly that How Durst's defense team built reasonable doubt around an admitted dismemberment (and why the missing evidence mattered more than the conceded facts) The difference between psychopathy and sociopathy — nature vs. nurture, charm vs. rage, and why nonviolent sociopaths walk among us What a masterful cross-examination and an eight-hour couples intensive have in common: staying with someone's discomfort until the adaptation collapses Why breakthroughs so often have a "shelf life" — and what it takes for real change to stick Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has spent decades watching people confabulate, deflect, and defend in real time — just usually not on the witness stand. If you've ever watched someone rewrite reality right in front of you and wondered how they believe their own story, this episode is for you. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com Content warning: This episode includes discussion of homicide, dismemberment, and domestic violence. Listener discretion advised. Robert Durst confessed on a hot mic — but the real story is watching a man confabulate in real time, for decades, and nearly get away with it. In the first-ever Murder on the Couch guest episode, Tony is joined by his friend Kate, a civil attorney and lifelong true crime devotee, to break down the case behind HBO's The Jinx. Kate presents the case — the 1982 disappearance of Kathie Durst, the murder of Susan Berman, the Morris Black acquittal that still defies belief — while Tony reacts in real time with the psychology underneath it all: confabulation, childhood adaptations, and what actually happens when someone is finally confronted with a lie they can't tap-dance out of. In this episode, you'll discover: Why memory is "adorable and fallible" — and how the legal system's hierarchy of evidence accounts for exactly that How Durst's defense team built reasonable doubt around an admitted dismemberment (and why the missing evidence mattered more than the conceded facts) The difference between psychopathy and sociopathy — nature vs. nurture, charm vs. rage, and why nonviolent sociopaths walk among us What a masterful cross-examination and an eight-hour couples intensive have in common: staying with someone's discomfort until the adaptation collapses Why breakthroughs so often have a "shelf life" — and what it takes for real change to stick Tony Overbay is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has spent decades watching people confabulate, deflect, and defend in real time — just usually not on the witness stand. If you've ever watched someone rewrite reality right in front of you and wondered how they believe their own story, this episode is for you. Please follow Tony on Instagram @virtual.couch on Tiktok @virtualcouch on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/tonyoverbaylmft and on Substack https://thevirtualcouch.substack.com/ You can reach out to Tony through his website tonyoverbay.com or by emailing contact @ tonyoverbay.com
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    1 時間 31 分
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