What was this episode?! It started with “partying with the cops” and quickly spiraled into a full-throttle fever dream of air horn law, vibrating foghorn patrol cars, train-horn-toting maniacs, truck nut evasion strategies, and wild cat vs. snake standoffs. Lieutenant Crain fought through a week of madness, one call at a time, while Viktor Wilt juggled a busted headlight, exploding taillight emotions, and the existential dread of buying overpriced black license plates that still have “world famous potatoes” printed on them. Callers? Oh, they brought it: one dude wanted to walk around in a Speedo for the lulz, another accidentally admitted to running a mobile poop empire without a CDL, and someone’s dad might be a Speedo-wearing anti-ID anarchist carpenter/fixer who may or may not be breaking federal law. There were bees weaponized against law enforcement, a cat named Lucy’s mom who now lives inside Lieutenant Crain’s shadow, and the shocking revelation that all Idaho cops are now forced to drink tap water like peasants. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more unhinged—boom—someone tries to name their cat Chernobyl. Radio gold. Absolute chaos. No notes.

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Buckle up, because this episode of the Viktor Wilt Show was an absolute fever dream of chaos, caffeine, and catfish violence. It started with a relatable tale of charger woes and anxiety-induced alarm setups, but it escalated fast into the saga of a Florida man who thought it was totally logical to crash his EV through a restaurant just to juice up at the bar — yes, like with a car charger, not a cocktail. Then we plummeted into Reddit hell where some poor guy’s parents convinced him his girlfriend was ugly, which derailed into a wild philosophical debate about subjective beauty and crooked metalhead teeth. And just when you think things couldn’t get weirder — BAM — a Spanish beekeeper got hammered, unleashed a swarm of bees on the cops, and drove off into the night like some apian supervillain. We’re still not okay.

But WAIT, there’s more! Viktor took a detour through consumer therapy with a breakdown of under-$300 life-improving gadgets, like electric toothbrushes gathering dust, mystery pillows that never deliver, and terrifying robot vacuums offered by rogue listeners. He then jumped into the icy horror of 24 inches of Montana snow ruining people’s camping trips, while in New York, kids were dying from subway surfing like it’s Tony Hawk's death wish expansion pack. Then came the bear in Greece who launched a man off a cliff like it was Street Fighter — fatality style.

But hey, at least a giant catfish attacking swimmers in Germany was finally brought to justice via police bullets. Justice for Kuno the Killer!

We took a spin through ragebait GTA VI headlines that mean nothing, then slammed face-first into geopolitical dread with rising gas prices courtesy of Middle East chaos. But don’t worry — Viktor reassured us with news that Earth might just spiral into the sun thanks to a rogue star. Oh, and if that’s not stressful enough, apparently you’re statistically more likely to die on your birthday. Yay!

Amidst all this madness, Crumble dropped a weirdly glorious Benson Boone cookie that tasted like moonbeam-lemon-Oreo-insanity, and a heated takedown of pop industry plants unfolded, dragging Freddie Mercury, Rick Rubin, and Reddit keyboard warriors into the fray. Viktor and Peaches also discussed the psychological warfare of watching someone dance in the front row of a movie theater, debated masked bands and musical authenticity, and ended with a PSA: don’t swim where catfish are named like horror movie villains.

This was not just a show. It was a multi-dimensional explosion of dumb news, weird cookies, angry fish, nuclear bears, and anti-charging-station rage. Truly unhinged.

(0:00) Alarm clock woes, man smashes electric vehicle into restaurant to charge his car
(2:26) Parents constantly telling redditor that his girlfriend is unattractive
(6:18) Items under $300 that may improve your quality of life
(13:01) Drunk driver unleashes bees on the police
(15:17) The weather sucked last weekend, subway surfing is a terrible idea, bear throws man off of cliff, tree falls on camper
(21:03) GTA 6 articles are the worst kind of clickbait
(24:54) Gas prices going through the roof after the US bombs Iran
(31:07) You might die on your birthday
(35:44) Katie Lee from Z103 brings by the new Benson Boone Crumbl cookie
(39:03) Religious discussion at Indiana bar leads to fist fight and arrests
(41:44) The earth may soon be chucked into the sun

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This episode of Traffic School was straight-up vehicular mayhem mixed with emotional chaos, caffeine-fueled banter, and absurd masculinity rules that made zero sense but somehow made perfect radio. Viktor Wilt and Lieutenant Crain kicked things off with unhinged workplace rants, slapping metaphors, and financial threats directed at poor Jade for not giving Viktor a raise. Viktor confessed he was “too manly” to ride another man’s boat, and that sparked a testosterone-fueled spiral of logic so deranged, it broke the laws of reason—and likely Idaho boating statutes.

Then came the trucker calls, with long-haulers phoning in to complain about lane governors and passing speeds, and Viktor gleefully declaring he’d own a trucking company purely to enrage motorists by blocking lanes with smug delight. From there, things nosedived into full lunacy as Carl, the unofficial fourth host, called in to talk Mustang detailing, illicit snow cone distribution, and Fourth of July bootlegging. Meanwhile, Crain tried to jump things on e-bikes, and the city considered outlawing fun entirely via new ordinances. More madness ensued as listeners asked about bumper height legality, lane-splitting confusion, front plate requirements, bridge jumping laws, and fireworks regulations—all while casually confessing to questionable childhood decisions, forgotten TV references, and calling DJs “babe” by accident.

This episode wasn’t just traffic school—it was a demolition derby of the mind, driven by chaos, powered by The Advocates, and barely held together by a phone line and the dim hope that someone, somewhere, learned something. Probably not.

FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE @VIKTORWILT

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