Hey scummers!

Pull up a stool, mind the sump spill under your boots, and keep one eye on your drink, because the lads are diving back into the weird and wild corners of the 41st millennium and more minor xenos.

Much to Nathan’s visible, audible, and spiritual dismay.

We’re talking about the slippery, shadow-haunting menace of the Laxotl.

These amphibious horrors that would thrive in the damp, forgotten arteries of the underhive. These things aren’t just content to lurk in the dark; they own it. With slick, scaled bodies built for squeezing through pipes and flooded tunnels, the Laxotl move like living oil spills, striking from places no sane ganger would ever think to check. These xenos mercenaries aren’t just beasts either, there’s a cruel, alien cunning behind those cold eyes, coordinating ambushes and dragging unlucky souls into the depths without a sound. If you hear something slithering in the walls? Too late. It’s already mapped your escape routes.

And then there’s the ever-delightful Ur-Ghul.

Everyone’s favourite eyeless nightmare, and a staple of bad decisions across Commorragh and beyond. These pale, sinewy predators don’t need sight when they’ve got senses sharp enough to track a heartbeat through ferrocrete. Lightning fast and disturbingly quiet, an Ur-Ghul is all claws and teeth, reducing its prey to scraps before the brain even catches up to what’s happening. Often kept as “pets” by those with more cruelty than sense, they’re about as loyal as a hive scummer with a full ammo cache. The moment control slips, they go right back to what they do best: hunting anything warm, moving, and unfortunate enough to be nearby.

Expect the usual: half-remembered lore, an insurance selling gecko with more one liners than sense, and at least one moment where someone (it’s Nathan) asks if we can please, please just talk about literally anything else.

We won’t.

So lock your hab doors, check your corners, and join us as we once again prove that in the underhive and the galaxy beyond, there’s always something worse lurking just out of sight.

Catch you in the sump, scummers.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at Underhivelorekeepers@gmail.com.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Oi, travellers and treasure-hungry miscreants!

Stagger back through the splintered doors of The Lucky Comet, where the ale is watered, the patrons are suspicious, and the roof only leaks when it rains.

Which is always.

Mordheim welcomes you like a mugger in a dark alley. Warmly, and with a knife.

This time around, the lads continue our grand tour of the most cursed city in the Old World before plunging headfirst into the so-called “finest” human mercenary warbands of the original release. And by finest, we mean a stunning parade of personalities ranging from aggressively beige sellswords to fur-cloaked lunatics fighting like bears like it’s perfectly reasonable behaviour.

We’ve got rich brats playing at war, Middenheimers who think shirts are optional but wolf pelts are mandatory, and the Reiklanders are staring at us again.

From muddy boots to silk slippers, from battered helms to VERY sensible trousers (we cannot stress this enough), this episode is your unofficial guide to looking your best while being horribly, irrevocably murdered in the ruins.

So grab a drink, check your coin purse hasn’t gone missing, and settle in.We hope you enjoy part 2 of our journey into the city of Mordheim.

Assuming something in the shadows doesn’t get you first.

If you have questions, complaints, corrections or suggestions, email us at Underhivelorekeepers@gmail.com.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Old World Lorekeepers music theme is Folk Around by Kevin Macleod.

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):https://uppbeat.io/t/kevin-macleod/folk-roundLicense code: IZVBYKAZBENG35ZT

Hello Scummers!

Welcome back to our ongoing dive into the Merchant Guilds of Necromunda, where the money flows, the bodies pile up and somehow it all balances out in the end. Probably.

In Episode 3 of our series, we’re getting uncomfortably familiar with two of the hive’s most essential institutions.

The Corpse Guild and the Guild of Coin.

First up, the Corpse Guild.

Necromunda’s least appreciated, most unavoidable public service. We chat about how the dead don’t stay useless for long in the underhive, the grim machinery that keeps the corpse starch flowing, and why you really don’t want to fall behind on your final contributions. It’s not pretty, but it is efficient, in that horrifying, dystopian kind of way.

Then we swing hard into the Guild of Coin, where credits rule everything and owing someone a favour is just a polite way of saying you’ve ruined your life.

We dig into how wealth moves through the hive, who actually controls it, and why the wrong debt can see you vanish faster than a sump rat in a chem spill.

And of course, we’ve got a story, because what’s Necromunda without a bit of personal tragedy? This week it’s Barry, a poor drudge whose luck is so impressively terrible that he somehow ends up on both guilds’ radars at once. Let’s just say if there’s a worst-case scenario, Barry’s already lived it.

It’s grim, it’s ridiculous, and it’s exactly why we love this setting.

Enjoy, Scummers!

Want to support the show? ⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers⁠

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

AHOY SCUMMERS!

After what can only be described as a brief, administratively necessary (definitely not heretical) absence, The Underhive Lorekeepers Podcast staggers back into the vox-net like an Inquisitor returning from a very quiet, very classified investigation.

Yes, we’re back.

And to celebrate our triumphant return to the airwaves (and to prove we haven’t been replaced by suspiciously similar servo-skulls), we’re hosting our Listener Lore Competition: Minor Ordos Edition.

Because nothing says “welcome back” quite like weaponised bureaucracy.

Everyone knows the big three of the Inquisition, but we’re not here for the celebrity Ordos. We want the obscure ones. The underfunded ones. The ones operating out of a damp archive sub-level with a staff of three, a skull with anxiety, and a mandate so hyper-specific it borders on parody.

This episode is all about your creations — the Minor Ordos that REDACTED. The Ordo that investigates bugs in a sitcom. The Ordo dedicated to beverages. The Ordo that insists that, technically, you do not exist. The Ordo loving Roots, bloody roots. The Ordo breaking our souls and robots.

And because the Inquisition is nothing if not deeply uncomfortable around itself, we’ll be imagining what happens when all these Minor Ordos are forced to attend the strangest company mixer in the galaxy. Picture it: name tags in High Gothic, awkward small talk about sanctioned purges, someone from a rival Ordo quietly taking notes in the corner, and at least one Puritan loudly insisting this entire gathering is Gregory.

There will be dramatic readings. There will be questionable accents. There will be entirely too much enthusiasm about Wingdings.

Most importantly, there will be your lore. It is canon-adjacent, wildly unnecessary, and absolutely essential.

We may have been gone for a while… but like any good Inquisitorial investigation, we were merely gathering evidence.

The Emperor Protects. HR absolutely does not.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey scummers.

Nathan has absconded to New Zealand on a so-called family holiday, but in doing so has cemented his claim as the one true King of the Scummers. Against all odds (and unlike Spamuel) he’s taken his recording gear on the road. Bravery. Courage. Heroism. We salute him.

After the shortest intro in Lorekeepers history (you’re welcome), we finally bring our rambling tour of the Minor Ordos of the Holy Inquisition to a close.

From the shadowy ordos tasked with investigating miracles, to the Grand Dog of Necromunda, and an Ordo whose entire remit appears to be deciding whether sensitive information gets a Sharpie or a flamer, right through to Malcador the Sigillite’s deeply suspect personal Christmas album collection.

The tail end of this series is an absolute ride.

And because it’s a new year, and this is our first finished series of the year, you already know what that means.

We are doing a giveaway.

Make sure you listen to the whole episode (or just skip to the end) and find out how you can win.

I’m not your mum.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Happy New Years, scummers!

It’s been a hot minute since the boys last sat down with you, so naturally this one kicks off with a completely reasonable 20-minute opening.

Expect hopes and dreams for the year ahead, aggressive lamenting over the complete lack of sleep this festive period, and Spamuel proudly announcing that he’s being selfish this year.

The Year of Chaos is well and truly upon us.

Then, after playing far too much of the Owlcat Games Mega smash hit cult classic game, Rogue Trader, the boys finally drag themselves back to the lore and dive headfirst into the Rogue Traders themselves.

We break down who these wildly over-privileged lunatics are, how a single, ancient Warrant of Trade lets them operate above almost all Imperial law, and why the Imperium is perfectly happy to tolerate their excesses so long as the tithes keep flowing.

From skirting the edges of heresy, to dealing with xenos, founding colonies, claiming forgotten worlds and occasionally kicking off wars by accident, Rogue Traders exist in that beautiful grey zone where ambition, faith, and profit collide. They are explorers, conquerors, diplomats, pirates, and sometimes outright criminals.

All in the Emperor’s name, of course.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Merry Christmas, scummers!

In this festive episode, the boys holster their stub guns, loosen their flak armour, and take a more relaxed stroll through the sump as they crack open the mail sack and read letters from you, our long-suffering, much-loved audience.

We tackle the questions you’ve been itching to ask, share a few laughs, shed the occasional manly tear, we somehow end up talking Mexican food and Spamuel ends up declaring open war on Mariah Carey of all people. Heresy takes many forms.

Along the way there may (or may not) be a handful of Christmas carols, sung with all the reverence and vocal talent you’ve come to expect from the underhive.

So pour yourself something strong, pull up a crate by the barrel fire, and join us for a very Underhive Lorekeeper Christmas.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

Christmas music is Christmas Jingle Bells by Soundstreet. https://tunetank.com/track/3393-christmas-jingle-bells/

Hey there, scummers!

After the suspiciously positive reception of our last romp through the Minor Ordos, the boys once again strap on their gear, laminate their definitely real Inquisitorial credentials, and march right back into territory the Administratum insists doesn’t exist.

From a barfly named Mike, who somehow founds an entire Ordo between drinks, to the many-headed confusion of the Hydra, and the eternally put-upon men and women of the Astra Militarum (yes, we know, they’re not an Ordo, don’t write in), the Inquisition is packed with forgotten departments, cursed filing cabinets, and mandates that no one remembers approving.

So grab a drink, stop bullying the Ordo Astra (seriously, they’re doing their best), and get comfortable, because once again, we’re talking Minor Ordos.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/