When first responders hang up their badges, many face a devastating identity crisis that can lead to depression, addiction, and even suicidal thoughts. But what if the uniform was never your true identity in the first place?

In this powerful conversation, former NYPD officer and FDNY firefighter Neil shares his personal journey through the wilderness of post-service life and the breakthrough realization that transformed everything: "My true identity wasn't a cop or fireman. My core identity was I'm a person that helps other people."

Neil reveals how this shift in perspective opened doors to new purpose and meaning, allowing him to continue his mission of service through coaching other first responders. With raw honesty, he discusses the psychological barriers that keep retired heroes stuck in the past and offers practical strategies to break through resistance using "micro actions" so small your subconscious can't object.

You'll discover why first responders possess unique advantages in civilian careers, how skills developed in emergency response transfer directly to entrepreneurship and other fields, and why the mindset of being a "problem solver" creates opportunities in any context. Neil shares real-world examples of how tiny, consistent habits create massive life changes—from the client who cleaned his hoarded office one folder at a time to another who began his fitness journey simply by driving to the gym parking lot without getting out.

For active and retired first responders struggling with purpose, this episode offers a lifeline of hope. For their families and friends, it provides insight into the unique challenges of transition and how to support loved ones through it. The conversation concludes with powerful analogies about maintaining mental health by intentionally filling your life with positivity to counteract the inevitable darkness first responders encounter.

Whether you're a first responder planning your next chapter, already in transition, or supporting someone who is, this conversation will change how you think about identity, purpose, and the possibilities that exist beyond the badge.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
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