The Support We Need Most When We've Lost Ourselves
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In this episode of the After Life Podcast, Samina Bari is joined by her lifelong friend, Stephanie Koze, who shares a deeply personal account of the moments surrounding the loss of Samina's husband, Doug. From the first 3 a.m. phone call from the hospital to rushing cross-country to be by Samina's side, Stephanie reveals the realities and raw emotions of showing up for someone in the darkest times.
Together, they explore what true support looks like beyond words - offering presence, compassion, and practical help without overwhelming the grieving person. Stephanie's thoughtful reflections illustrate the delicate balance of managing her own emotions while focusing fully on being there for Samina and her family.
Key TakeawaysSupporting someone in grief involves putting your own emotions aside, truly listening, and showing up with empathy and practical help.
Friends and chosen family form a crucial support network. Having them step in with different strengths will lift the burden from the grieving person.
Grieving children need special care and attention, as their experiences and ways of coping are unique and often overlooked.
Self-care for supporters matters too - it's okay to grieve alongside your loved one in private to sustain the strength needed to be present.
If the stories and insights from these episodes have touched you, I warmly invite you to continue the conversation with me at saminabari.com. There, you'll discover meaningful ways to share this work - whether by ordering copies for your office or community, gifting the book to someone in need, or inviting me to speak and ignite more of these essential conversations together.
On the site, you'll also find the latest updates about my book Don't Call Me Widow: How to Support Someone Who Has Lost Their Spouse.
Additionally, you can download a free resource I created, What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do.