South Asian parents love an expectation.

Do well at school. Go to uni. Get a good job. Don’t embarrass the family. And while you’re at it, why can’t you be more like your cousin?

In this episode, Saf and Zoheb talk about the pressure they grew up with, how much of it came from their parents, and how differently that pressure could land depending on whether you were the oldest, youngest, a boy or a girl.

They get into school, discipline, being compared to other people, the things South Asian dads absolutely do not apologise for, and the expectations that somehow follow you all the way into marriage.

Zoheb’s wife gets pulled into the conversation towards the end completely randomly. She wasn’t mic’d up, so the audio changes a bit, but the conversation was worth keeping in.

We barely scratched the surface with this one, so there’s definitely more to come.

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This episode discusses allegations and personal opinions around an ongoing public conversation.

A few clips we posted about Iksy started getting more attention than we expected, and then the DMs came in. People were sending us their own stories, screenshots and experiences. Some were detailed, some weren’t, and we obviously can’t verify everything we’ve been sent.

Then Iksy went on Podghost and gave his side of the story, so we sat down and talked about the whole thing properly.

We get into the allegations, his response, whether he seemed remorseful, accountability, second chances and what happens when people simply stop trusting you.

But it also turns into a much wider conversation about our own community. Why do the same stories around money, bad business and people taking advantage of each other keep coming up? Why does it feel like some of the things we saw growing up are still happening in our generation? And even if you forgive someone, does that mean you ever have to trust them again?

And yes, we also get into the clout-chasing comments, publicising sins, community responsibility and whether any of this should even be discussed publicly in the first place.

A note before listening:

This episode is a conversation and reflects the personal opinions of the people taking part. Any allegations or claims of wrongdoing discussed in this episode are allegations and should not be understood as findings of fact. We have not independently verified every claim, message or account referred to during the conversation, and we make no determination as to their truth or accuracy.

Some of the discussion refers to statements, allegations and commentary already circulating publicly or shared with us by third parties. Where we discuss these matters, we are doing so for the purposes of conversation, commentary and opinion.

We do not encourage harassment, threats, abuse, doxxing or contacting anyone mentioned in this episode, including their friends or family.

If you believe we have materially misstated something discussed in this episode, you can contact The Side Room directly.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do you know which friendships are actually built to last?

Saf and Zoheb talk about childhood friends, making close friends as adults, friendship after marriage, and the people who show up when life gets difficult. They look back at the friendships they grew up with, the ones that have lasted, the ones that quietly faded, and what happens when someone you still care about no longer fits the life you’ve built.

They also get into outgrowing old friends, keeping a smaller circle as you get older, whether loyalty should have limits, and how marriage, family and grief can change the way you look at the people around you. Plus, has social media made us feel connected while actually making us worse at keeping in touch?

Zoheb’s wife was also listening in and occasionally joins the conversation. She wasn’t mic’d up for the episode, so apologies for the audio quality when you hear her chipping in.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.