How to speak pubicly and network with confidence

Elaine Belson, LCSW talks with Diane Darling about the real work behind confident speaking and effective networking. We discuss how women can stop over-projecting rejection, make conversations feel relational instead of transactional, and use small, repeatable actions to build resilience and confidence.

Timestamps

0:00 Welcome & episode overview
1:09 Meet Diane Darling
1:39 Managing public-speaking nerves
5:59 Reframing anxiety as healthy energy
10:28 Imposter syndrome & speaking up
17:45 Resilience and rebuilding confidence
23:32 Networking strategies
30:44 Letting go of assumptions
36:28 Learning through failure
42:13 Confident, caring communication
47:17 Kindness, accountability & self-compassion
50:26 Connect with Diane
51:34 Closing takeaways

Diane Darling is a speaker, author, coach and pioneer in social networking. She was commissioned by McGraw-Hill to write the definitive book on networking called The Networking Survival Guide. It went into a 2nd printing just 90 days after the book hit the shelves.

Diane has taught at Harvard Business School, European Cardiology Society, 20th Century Fox, Cisco Systems, Bank of America, University of Texas Law School, InfoSys, American Bar Association, Alumni of London School of Economics to name a few clients.

She has appeared on NBC Nightly News, in The Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe.

Connect with Diane!
http://www.DianeDarling.com
http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DianeDarling

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15minWebsite: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Good Girl Conditioning, Perfectionism, and Assertiveness

Elaine Belson talks with masters-level psychologist Anita Cavrag about how “good girl” conditioning shapes perfectionism, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and the pressure to earn love through performance.

(00:47) Anita’s early life in Croatia and the roots of the “good girl” pattern

(07:00) Noticing the inner perfectionist in real time instead of obeying it

(08:29) How fear of failure shapes a woman’s sense of self

(13:48) Good girl conditioning, patriarchy, and why many women share the same pattern

(15:16) Why women fear asking for what they want

(17:54) The doormat versus dragon illusion

(18:48) What submissive, aggressive, and passive aggressive look like in real life

(21:36) Passive aggressive communication and why it leaves both people unmet

(23:27) Why “nobody listens unless I yell” often starts with unclear requests

(26:26) Assertiveness is not control, manipulation, or trying to force compliance

(29:41) Why assertiveness cannot be learned in isolation from real conversations

(31:21) Fear of rejection, catastrophizing, and the story people attach to no

(35:29) People pleasing as a subtle form of control and the need to be liked

(36:33) Needing others to understand your no, and why you do not owe explanations

(38:31) Why some people over-manage reactions to protect themselves from consequences

(39:34) The cost of boundary-setting, including losing some relationships

(43:24) Values become real when you are willing to pay a price for them

(46:17) The need to be needed in founders, providers, and caregivers

(49:21) How over-functioning creates dependence and resentment at home and at work

(50:40) Why resentment grows when requests are not stated clearly

(53:30) Practical advice: identify the complaint, uncover the need, and make a specific request

(55:58) Asking sooner prevents resentment from building

(56:52) Most people like doing things for others when they understand what it means

Anita Čavrag is a masters-level psychologist and coach best known for helping brilliant, accomplished women in business manage difficult people — prospects, clients and team members who don't stick to agreements or who cross their boundaries - without damaging relationships or reputation. She's helped 100+ experts and founders step into real authority. Her credentials include a Masters in Psychology and BA in Philosophy, NLP Master Practitioner, and ICF ACC accreditation.

Free guide: The Art of Getting What You Want from People: https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want

Free 90-minute audit session: tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session

Website: fireflycareer.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Trusting Your Inner Voice: How Energetic Intelligence Shapes Self-Authority

In this episode, Wendy Sterling shares her journey from corporate success and life disconnection to embracing energetic intelligence as a way to deepen self-trust and authenticity. Discover how tuning into your body's signals and stepping into your true energetic authority can accelerate personal growth and create meaningful connections.

00:00 - Welcome and episode overview
00:12 - Wendy’s story of success and early conditioning
01:00 - The narrative of seeking external approval and its costs
02:20 - The wake-up call: divorce and self-reconnection
03:16 - How life coaching revealed new possibilities for self-trust
04:46 - From external validation to internal calibration
05:59 - Recognizing illusions created by societal narratives
06:53 - Safe versus authentic: the costs of living in fear
08:08 - The influence of control and language on self-perception
09:44 - Moving beyond reaction to authentic energetic leadership
11:05 - Making decisions from embodied intuition versus certainty
12:51 - Listening to your body's signals as valuable data
14:47 - The impact of hustle mentality on trusting yourself
15:54 - Flipping the script: trusting the nudge before evidence appears
17:28 - Differentiating emotional intelligence from energetic intelligence
20:04 - Calibration versus calculation in leadership
21:04 - Walking into spaces with confidence from your energetic authority
22:25 - Attracting aligned opportunities by leading from your true self
24:05 - Recognizing signals and messages from life as guidance
29:59 - The power of acting on inner knowing for rapid results
31:14 - The false ease of avoidance versus the real ease of trust
34:56 - Leading with energy: making choices aligned with your true self
36:40 - Using energetic cues to navigate high-stakes decisions
38:24 - Practical first steps to reconnect with your energetic intelligence
43:05 - Final thoughts: showing up authentically and trusting from within
45:44 - Connecting with Wendy for support and coaching opportunities

Wendy Paige Sterling is an Intuitive Oracle and the founder of The New EI™—Energetic Intelligence, a modern leadership framework (aka your intuition). A former corporate exec with over 20yrs of experience leading teams and building multi-million-dollar regions, she now works with high-achieving women, founders and executives to deepen self-trust, reconnect with their inner knowing, their intuition, and use it alongside strategy to make clear decisions, lead with conviction and stop outsourcing their authority to fear, performance and external validation.
https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/ https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/

Book a complimentary intuitive clarity call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call

Connect with Elaine!LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com