How to speak pubicly and network with confidence

Elaine Belson, LCSW talks with Diane Darling about the real work behind confident speaking and effective networking. We discuss how women can stop over-projecting rejection, make conversations feel relational instead of transactional, and use small, repeatable actions to build resilience and confidence.

Timestamps

0:00 Welcome & episode overview
1:09 Meet Diane Darling
1:39 Managing public-speaking nerves
5:59 Reframing anxiety as healthy energy
10:28 Imposter syndrome & speaking up
17:45 Resilience and rebuilding confidence
23:32 Networking strategies
30:44 Letting go of assumptions
36:28 Learning through failure
42:13 Confident, caring communication
47:17 Kindness, accountability & self-compassion
50:26 Connect with Diane
51:34 Closing takeaways

Diane Darling is a speaker, author, coach and pioneer in social networking. She was commissioned by McGraw-Hill to write the definitive book on networking called The Networking Survival Guide. It went into a 2nd printing just 90 days after the book hit the shelves.

Diane has taught at Harvard Business School, European Cardiology Society, 20th Century Fox, Cisco Systems, Bank of America, University of Texas Law School, InfoSys, American Bar Association, Alumni of London School of Economics to name a few clients.

She has appeared on NBC Nightly News, in The Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, and The Boston Globe.

Connect with Diane!
http://www.DianeDarling.com
http://www.LinkedIn.com/in/DianeDarling

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15minWebsite: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Good Girl Conditioning, Perfectionism, and Assertiveness

Elaine Belson talks with masters-level psychologist Anita Cavrag about how “good girl” conditioning shapes perfectionism, fear of rejection, people pleasing, and the pressure to earn love through performance.

(00:47) Anita’s early life in Croatia and the roots of the “good girl” pattern

(07:00) Noticing the inner perfectionist in real time instead of obeying it

(08:29) How fear of failure shapes a woman’s sense of self

(13:48) Good girl conditioning, patriarchy, and why many women share the same pattern

(15:16) Why women fear asking for what they want

(17:54) The doormat versus dragon illusion

(18:48) What submissive, aggressive, and passive aggressive look like in real life

(21:36) Passive aggressive communication and why it leaves both people unmet

(23:27) Why “nobody listens unless I yell” often starts with unclear requests

(26:26) Assertiveness is not control, manipulation, or trying to force compliance

(29:41) Why assertiveness cannot be learned in isolation from real conversations

(31:21) Fear of rejection, catastrophizing, and the story people attach to no

(35:29) People pleasing as a subtle form of control and the need to be liked

(36:33) Needing others to understand your no, and why you do not owe explanations

(38:31) Why some people over-manage reactions to protect themselves from consequences

(39:34) The cost of boundary-setting, including losing some relationships

(43:24) Values become real when you are willing to pay a price for them

(46:17) The need to be needed in founders, providers, and caregivers

(49:21) How over-functioning creates dependence and resentment at home and at work

(50:40) Why resentment grows when requests are not stated clearly

(53:30) Practical advice: identify the complaint, uncover the need, and make a specific request

(55:58) Asking sooner prevents resentment from building

(56:52) Most people like doing things for others when they understand what it means

Anita Čavrag is a masters-level psychologist and coach best known for helping brilliant, accomplished women in business manage difficult people — prospects, clients and team members who don't stick to agreements or who cross their boundaries - without damaging relationships or reputation. She's helped 100+ experts and founders step into real authority. Her credentials include a Masters in Psychology and BA in Philosophy, NLP Master Practitioner, and ICF ACC accreditation.

Free guide: The Art of Getting What You Want from People: https://www.fireflycareer.com/the-art-of-getting-what-you-want

Free 90-minute audit session: tidycal.com/anitacavrag/audit-session

Website: fireflycareer.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cavrag-career-coach

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Trusting Your Inner Voice: How Energetic Intelligence Shapes Self-Authority

In this episode, Wendy Sterling shares her journey from corporate success and life disconnection to embracing energetic intelligence as a way to deepen self-trust and authenticity. Discover how tuning into your body's signals and stepping into your true energetic authority can accelerate personal growth and create meaningful connections.

00:00 - Welcome and episode overview
00:12 - Wendy’s story of success and early conditioning
01:00 - The narrative of seeking external approval and its costs
02:20 - The wake-up call: divorce and self-reconnection
03:16 - How life coaching revealed new possibilities for self-trust
04:46 - From external validation to internal calibration
05:59 - Recognizing illusions created by societal narratives
06:53 - Safe versus authentic: the costs of living in fear
08:08 - The influence of control and language on self-perception
09:44 - Moving beyond reaction to authentic energetic leadership
11:05 - Making decisions from embodied intuition versus certainty
12:51 - Listening to your body's signals as valuable data
14:47 - The impact of hustle mentality on trusting yourself
15:54 - Flipping the script: trusting the nudge before evidence appears
17:28 - Differentiating emotional intelligence from energetic intelligence
20:04 - Calibration versus calculation in leadership
21:04 - Walking into spaces with confidence from your energetic authority
22:25 - Attracting aligned opportunities by leading from your true self
24:05 - Recognizing signals and messages from life as guidance
29:59 - The power of acting on inner knowing for rapid results
31:14 - The false ease of avoidance versus the real ease of trust
34:56 - Leading with energy: making choices aligned with your true self
36:40 - Using energetic cues to navigate high-stakes decisions
38:24 - Practical first steps to reconnect with your energetic intelligence
43:05 - Final thoughts: showing up authentically and trusting from within
45:44 - Connecting with Wendy for support and coaching opportunities

Wendy Paige Sterling is an Intuitive Oracle and the founder of The New EI™—Energetic Intelligence, a modern leadership framework (aka your intuition). A former corporate exec with over 20yrs of experience leading teams and building multi-million-dollar regions, she now works with high-achieving women, founders and executives to deepen self-trust, reconnect with their inner knowing, their intuition, and use it alongside strategy to make clear decisions, lead with conviction and stop outsourcing their authority to fear, performance and external validation.
https://www.facebook.com/wendypaigesterling https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-paige-sterling/ https://www.instagram.com/wendypaigesterling/

Book a complimentary intuitive clarity call: https://calendly.com/wendysterling/intuitive-clarity-call

Connect with Elaine!LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcswFree

Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Most women are their own harshest critic—and it’s often driven by a deep fear of rejection and failure. But what if stopping that inner auto-critic could reshape your confidence and sense of self?

On this episode of the Self-Authority Podcast, Elaine Belson shares her personal journey from self-criticism to self-acceptance, revealing powerful techniques to break free from this vicious cycle.

Elaine recalls her “bed, bath, and beyond” moment—when anxiety about a simple conversation led her to realize her self-criticism was an addiction disguised as protection. She compares this inner dialogue to alcohol addiction and highlights how she learned to simply "not go there." By doing so, she discovered that being kind to herself on purpose strengthens her confidence and diminishes feelings of inadequacy.

She explains how many women overcompensate through overanalyzing, mind-reading, and self-criticism to ward off rejection and failure, often forgetting their worth.

You’ll discover:

• the two essential self-validation techniques designed to help you treat yourself with the same compassion you offer others;
• how fear of rejection and failure is a survival mechanism hardwired into us; and why relying on external “mirrors”—people’s reactions—leads to distorted self-image.
• why emotional intelligence and constructive communication are crucial for building authentic self-trust and resilience.
• practical tools, like asking “What am I genuinely afraid will happen?” when you catch yourself being hard on your inner self, and how to challenge the story behind that fear.

This episode is a must-listen if you’re tired of battling self-

doubt and that inner critic that holds you back from showing up as your true self. By trusting yourself and learning to validate your worth from within, you’ll unlock more confidence, ease, and emotional freedom.

Whether you’re new to self-development or seeking concrete strategies to stop self-sabotage, Elaine’s insights will empower you to rewrite your internal narrative and embrace your inherent worth. Perfect for anyone ready to stop using self-criticism as a shield, and start living with self-trust.

Transform your relationship with yourself and experience the freedom that comes from trusting your natural worth—because the key to confidence is already inside you.

Timestamps:
01:18 - Overthinking and forgetting worries
01:50 - The comparison and mental rehashing cycle
02:31 - Recognizing self-monitoring as an addiction
04:31 - Self-protection through self-criticism
05:17 - Understanding women’s fear of rejection and failure
08:48 - The disconnect between how we treat ourselves and others
09:25 - Normalizing not feeling "good enough"
11:01 - Trusting yourself and overcoming perfectionism
14:18 - Reframing negative self-talk with the same compassion for others
17:27 - Problem-solving instead of self-criticism
19:15 - Being your own best friend
20:29 - The opposite of the golden rule
22:43 - Relying on yourself for a stable sense of identity
29:54 - Avoiding reliance on carnival mirrors: dysfunctional external validation
32:18 - Walking the tightrope: trusting yourself despite fear
42:16 - Trusting yourself and holding others accountable

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

The Hidden Barriers That Stop You From Asking for What You Need

Discover how our own mental habits, like mind reading and second-guessing, hinder our ability to communicate effectively and build confidence. This episode shares practical insights on shifting from internal chatter to direct conversations that empower us.

Key topics:

- The impact of pre-verbal self-doubt on communication

- How mind reading and anticipation create barriers

- The importance of asking questions rather than assuming

- Checking in with others to foster clarity

- The role of self-awareness in building self-authority

- Practical tips to stop overthinking and start authentic conversations

- The connection between self-trust and effective communication

- Introducing Pam Lippet and her approach to self-awareness

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction to the episode and why women often hesitate to speak up
02:30 - Pam’s childhood and discovery of her voice through theater and debate
05:15 - How early experiences shape communication skills and confidence
08:45 - Navigating gender dynamics in professional settings
12:05 - The importance of preparation and presentation in meetings
15:42 - Overcoming internalized messages about women’s roles and expectations
18:55 - Examples of women supporting or self-sabotaging each other in the workplace
22:07 - How to handle miscommunication or language barriers effectively
26:45 - The power of transparency in workload and project management
30:05 - Strategies for asserting oneself without fear of being wrong
33:25 - The difference between striving for perfection and authentic self-expression
36:30 - Embracing vulnerability and owning mistakes as part of growth
40:15 - Building resilience through the ebbs and flows of confidence
43:20 - Ending conversations with clarity and self-validation
47:00 - The cultural expectation of women apologizing and its impact
50:50 - Practical steps women can take to lead with confidence and authenticity
53:21 - Final encouragement: progress over perfection and continuous growth

Pam Lippitt is CEO/Chief Communicator of Pamela Lippitt Communications, LLC (formerly The Hill Street Group), and is a public speaker, corporate trainer and coach helping people improve their communication skills. She helps each client maximize their voice, creating confident, savvy leaders.

Pam has been speaking in front of audiences since she was a teenager and is comfortable in front of large and small groups alike. She is currently host of the podcast “Communication is an Art”. She is a proud University of Michigan graduate (Go Blue) with a degree in Communications.

Resources & Links:

Connect with Pam Lippet!

Website: https://www.pamelalippitt.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalippitt/

Instagram: @pamelalippitt.communications

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Pantene Sorry Commercial: https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI?si=UotIdN0hFcK_jJi8

Unlocking Self-Authority: Master Your Self-Talk and Create the Life You Deserve

Discover how shifting your inner dialogue and practicing presence can empower you to overcome limiting beliefs, handle stress, and live authentically. Lee, a self-leadership strategist, shares her transformative journey and actionable tools to help women step into their full potential.

00:00 – Introduction to self-authority and Lee’s story

01:14 – The power of self-talk and its impact on mental health

02:08 – Reframing negative thoughts: strategies for empowerment

03:36 – Childhood reflections: the mirror work and self-love

04:34 – Recognizing voices: mom, dad, and your authentic internal voice

05:31 – Turning depression around through presence and intentionality

07:55 – Rediscovering passion and aligning with your true self

09:12 – The Reactor to Creator framework explained

11:49 – How reacting vs. creating influences your life outcomes

13:22 – The importance of self-love and visualizing future success

17:09 – Controlling perceptions vs. accepting the illusion of control

18:36 – Developing the habit of response and intentional action

21:03 – Addressing imposter syndrome: reframing and real-world examples

23:07 – Why women especially struggle with imposter syndrome & overcoming comparisonitis

27:10 – The dangers of social comparison and embracing your unique path

29:49 – The value of presence and staying in the "here and now"

31:23 – How to embody your future successful self using visualization

34:41 – Self-validation: reasons and techniques to become your own cheerleader

36:29 – Mirror work and recognizing your inner genius, gifts, and greatness

38:46 – Overcoming the fear of failure by shifting self-criticism into self-love

43:49 – Embracing mistakes and humanity as key to growth

45:17 – Lee’s free resource: The 5-minute Self-Talk Reset at http://rewriteyourselftalk.com

Ly Smith helps women executives stop reacting and start creating life on their terms. As Self-Leadership Strategist with UpCycle Coaching and founder of the G3 Collective, Ly uses her 30yrs of personal development studies, positive psychology and NLP certification to lead as a member of the Thought Council w/ C-Suite Network. She has helped clients grow revenue by over 30%, break through sales blocks, and transform people pleasing and procrastination into actionable confidence. Her message is simple: Change your self-talk, Change your results!

Free Gift: 5-Minute Reset http://www.rewriteyourselftalk.com

Website: http://www.upcyclecoaching.com

LinkedIn: /g3mastermind

Podcast: https://talks.co/ly

Book Ly: https://bit.ly/zoomwithly

Services: Keynote, Corporate Workshop Facilitator, Breakout Session, G3 Accountability

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: / elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson talks with coach and podcast host Leann Herron about rebuilding her life after multiple upheavals at 45, including the end of a 20-year marriage, leaving a misaligned career, bankruptcy, and becoming an empty nester.

Leann describes how abandonment and betrayal trauma fueled people-pleasing, loss of identity, and difficulty using her voice, and shares experiences of infidelity, family betrayal involving a custody battle, and workplace invalidation that culminated in severe panic and quitting her job.

She explains how stepping away allowed her to focus on healing through meditation, breathwork, nutrition, somatic and energy-based practices, and learning tools to regulate anxiety, set boundaries, and trust instincts. Leanne now coaches others, emphasizing that healing is coming home to yourself and giving yourself permission to change.

00:00 When Life Collapses

01:14 Leanne’s Fresh Start

03:18 Losing Identity

05:38 Roots of Abandonment

07:46 Betrayal Trauma Unpacked

11:27 Workplace Trigger Spiral

15:18 Trust Your Gut

18:57 Healing After Quitting

23:33 Tools Beyond Talk Therapy

26:19 Energy Work and Voice

30:58 Coaching and New Life

35:25 Advice at Crossroads

39:22 Starting Over With Power

42:59 Key Takeaways and Closing

Leann Herron is a Certified Life and Holistic Health Coach, founder of Finding Resilience with Leann, and the Host of the Happiness On Tap podcast. She is a passionate advocate for women's health and empowerment, specializing in guiding midlife women to break free from the cycle of over-giving and the stories that keep them stuck, to manage stress, and to enhancing their overall well-being so they can create a life that truly fulfills them—body, mind, and spirit.

Leann has a deep background in trauma recovery, holistic health, and personal development. She has helped numerous women break free from the cycle of over-giving and step into a life of balance, joy, and purpose. Through her women-centered transformative 90-day programs, she empowers women to finally say YES to themselves—without guilt.

Connect with Leann!

Website: https://findingresiliencewithleann.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leannherron/

Podcast – Happiness On Tap: https://findingresiliencewithleann.com/podcast

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Free Discovery Call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min

Website: https://www.TheSelfAuthorityCoach.com

Elaine Belson hosts the Self Authority Podcast with executive coach, author, and former HR executive Marlo Lyons to explore why high-achieving women struggle to trust their own authority and keep waiting for external validation.

Marlo recounts her path from TV news to law and entertainment at NBC and Viacom/Paramount, where she coached executives behind the scenes yet was overlooked for credit, reinforcing her drive to over-perform and feel indispensable.

She contrasts being needed with being valued, explains how women often tie worth to productivity and recognition, and describes over-functioning as a way to stay emotionally safe.

After being called back to the office post-COVID and declining available roles, she bet on herself, built her coaching business, and found greater fulfillment by listening to intuition, using her voice, and separating worth from output.

00:00 Why Women Wait

01:51 Marlo’s Career Path

04:33 Credit Stolen at Work

06:27 Betting on Herself

08:52 Needed vs Valued

14:12 Performing vs Power

16:57 Stop Using Mirrors

20:59 Designing Her Days

25:00 Body Signals and Voice

29:00 Ignoring Intuition Costs

30:28 Oxygen Mask Self Care

32:17 Recharge Your Capacity

33:49 Balance Over Supermom

36:44 Emotions As Data

38:25 Ban The Shoulds

40:31 Coaching Quiet Voices

42:12 Worth Beyond Output

43:44 Reframe Mistakes Learning

46:46 Advice To Younger Self

50:33 How To Reach Marlo

51:31 Needed Versus Valued

55:26 Podcast Closing Message

Connect with Marlo!

Website: https://wwwmarlolyonscoaching.com

Podcast: Work Unscripted: https://www.marlolyonscoaching.com/podcast

Award-winning, bestselling author:

Wanted: A Board Career: https://amzn.to/4ckbxpA

Wanted: A New Career: https://amzn.to/3FjnsG4

Wanted: My First Career: https://amzn.to/41gcc68

Connect with Elaine!

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/elainebelsonlcsw

Website: https://www.theselfauthoritycoach.com/

Schedule a free 15-min discovery call: https://zcal.co/esbelsonlcswc/15min