You know you need to grow—but where should you start?

When every area of life feels like it could improve, it is easy to improve nothing.

After spending a week preparing for a Zoom workshop, Thomas opened the room—and nobody showed up. The disappointment was difficult, but his response revealed something more important: a place where his character needed to grow.

In this episode, Thomas gives Christian men a simple three-question Tension Test to compare the areas where they feel stuck and choose one honest place to begin.

THE TENSION TEST

1. Cost: What is staying the same costing me?
2. Calling: Would growth here help me become the man God is calling me to be?
3. Control: Is there something here I can practice now?

After testing each possible growth area, complete this sentence:

“My starting point is growing in __________, because staying the same is costing __________, and growth here would help me become a man who __________.”

IN THIS EPISODE

• Why drifting is not always laziness
• How temporary relief can become a pattern
• The difference between a desired outcome and a growth gap
• How cost, calling, and control reveal where to begin
• Why you do not need to fix every part of your life at once
• How your character prepares you to carry your calling

SCRIPTURE MENTIONED

Psalm 139

FREE GROW ON PURPOSE WORKSHOP

Knowing where to grow is the first step. The next challenge is turning that awareness into an intentional direction.

At the free live Grow On Purpose Workshop, you will create a clear, written 90-day goal focused on the man you believe God is calling you to become. You will also choose one specific action to take within the first 48 hours.

Thomas will guide you through the process using the Grow On Purpose Workbook. You can keep your answers private, and you will not be put on the spot to share.

Register for the free Grow On Purpose Workshop

What is the one quality you need to grow right now?

Discipline, courage, focus, consistency, faithfulness—or something else?

If this episode helped you find one honest place to begin, follow Pursuit of Calling and share it with one Christian man who may need it.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Hard Moments Reveal Growth

01:56 Drifting Shapes Your Character

05:13 Cost, Calling, and Control

08:45 Choose Your Starting Point

Some of the most important lessons a mentor teaches happen when he is not trying to teach anything. In this Pursuit Bite, Thomas shares how two mentors shaped more than his knowledge: Jim Fink modeled grace and helped him plan a major career decision, while Marc Serrao demonstrated that success should never make a leader too important to notice the person who needs help.

Key takeaways

• A mentor should not replace your responsibility to think, decide, and do the work.
• Character is a stronger qualification than impressive results alone.
• Proverbs 15:22 points toward many advisers, not one person who covers every area.
• Mentors can help you avoid preventable mistakes and months of repair.
• Start with coffee and thoughtful questions; do not force a ten-year commitment.
• Humility, curiosity, and willingness to listen make guidance useful.

Scripture mentioned

• Proverbs 15:22

People and resources mentioned

• Jim Fink
• Marc Serrao and Oakmont Bakery
• Free Grow on Purpose Workbook: https://grow.pursuitofcalling.com

Podcast chapters

00:00 The lessons mentors never say

00:44 Why every man needs a mentor

01:06 Jim Fink and faithful example

01:24 A lens of grace

01:58 Counsel for a life-changing decision

02:21 Marc Serrao: character in business

03:57 Proverbs 15:22 and many advisers

04:33 Borrow someone else's wisdom

05:07 Where do you need guidance?

06:07 The Grow on Purpose Workbook

06:29 Results matter; character matters more

07:01 Closing encouragement

God may be using the tension you want to escape to strengthen your faith, courage, and capacity. Thomas shares how comfort, chronic illness, accountability, and a major career transition taught him to take the next faithful step before he had the full map.

Are you in an uncomfortable, uncertain, or painful season—and wondering what God is doing through it?

In this episode of The Pursuit of Calling, Thomas Carney explores why the tension between where you are and where you could be may be an invitation to grow rather than evidence that God has abandoned you. He shares how a COVID furlough exposed the difference between rest and drift, how muscular dystonia stretched his faith and discipline, how a friend challenged his excuses, and how leaving software development to pursue coaching expanded his capacity.

Grounded in John Maxwell’s Law of the Rubber Band and biblical principles from Philippians 3, Romans 5, and Proverbs 27:17, this episode will help Christian men respond to discomfort with faith and take one practical step toward their God-given calling—even without a complete map.

IN THIS EPISODE

• How comfort quietly turns into drift

• Why God may use discomfort to stretch your vision, faith, courage, and capacity

• What suffering can produce without pretending it does not hurt

• Why people who challenge your excuses are essential to growth

• Three questions that reveal your next faithful step

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Where have I become so comfortable that I’ve started drifting?

2. What might God be developing in me through this season?

3. Who is stretching me—and am I willing to listen?

FREE RESOURCE

Download the Grow On Purpose Workbook: https://grow.pursuitofcalling.com

If this episode helped you see your current season differently, share it with another Christian man who may need the encouragement and leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Chapters

0:00 When Comfort Becomes Drift

0:37 Welcome to The Pursuit of Calling

1:02 How COVID Exposed My Drift

2:40 Why God Uses Stretching Seasons

3:43 Comfort Won’t Make You Come Alive

5:11 Question 1: Where Have You Started Drifting?

6:11 When Pain Stretches Your Faith

9:04 Question 2: What Is God Developing in You?

9:38 How God Uses People to Challenge You

11:22 Question 3: Who Is Stretching You?

12:03 Leaving My Job Stretched My Capacity

13:18 The Pattern Behind My Growth

13:42 Three Questions for Your Week

14:20 Choose Your Next Faithful Step

15:27 Don’t Waste the Stretching