God’s Calling or Proving Yourself? How to Tell the Difference

Are you following God’s calling—or asking success to prove your worth?

You may be working hard toward a goal that matters, but still feel pressure for it to work, impress people, or prove that you are capable.

The goal itself may not be wrong. But what the goal has come to mean about you may deserve an honest look.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to examine whether faithfulness or insecurity is driving your next step.

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN

1. How to recognize when achievement has become tied to your identity
2. How to separate failure from your worth
3. How to examine whose approval you are pursuing
4. How to take a faithful step without needing a guarantee
5. How to discern the difference between calling and proving yourself

THREE QUESTIONS TO ASK

1. If nobody were impressed by this, would I still believe it was worth doing?
2. If this doesn’t work, what will I believe about myself?
3. What would my next faithful step be if I didn’t need a guarantee?

TRY THIS EXERCISE

Complete this sentence:

“I do not need this goal to prove that I am __________. My next faithful step is __________.”

Make the second blank specific and actionable.

Instead of “figure out my calling,” try:

1. Schedule the conversation
2. Ask for wise counsel
3. Practice for thirty minutes
4. Apply for one opportunity
5. Write the first page

GROW ON PURPOSE WORKSHOP

Knowing what is driving you is an important first step. The next challenge is deciding what growth to focus on and what action to take.

The free live Grow On Purpose Workshop will help you create a clear, written 90-day goal focused on the man you believe God is calling you to become, along with one specific action to take within the first 48 hours.

The Workshop also includes one free private coaching session with Thomas to help you strengthen your goal, identify what may be holding you back, and prepare to pursue what God may be calling you toward well.

You can keep your answers private, and you will not be put on the spot to share.

Register here:

https://grow.pursuitofcalling.com/workshop

If this episode helped you, follow The Pursuit of Calling and share it with one Christian man who may be carrying pressure to prove himself.

P.S. You can follow The Pursuit of Calling on Spotify and Apple Podcasts:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1B1TjaPvshJa1c7pmecMoK

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pursuit-of-calling-christian-identity-and-growth-for-men/id1700141705

When every good opportunity feels important, even a productive Christian man can drift—not because he is doing nothing, but because he is reacting to whatever is loudest, closest, or easiest to complete.

In this episode of The Pursuit of Calling, I explore how to choose what deserves your attention in this season. I explain how the Eisenhower Matrix separates urgency from importance, why prayer, health, relationships, preparation, and long-term growth often receive the leftovers, and why seeking wisdom early requires becoming teachable.

I also reflect on Proverbs 3:5–6 and the tension between wanting God’s direction and wanting certainty about the destination before taking the next step.

Use these questions to examine your own priorities:

• What truly matters in this season?
• What can wait without you abandoning it?
• Who can help you see what you may be missing?

You do not need to solve every part of your life today. Choose one honest place to begin.

Learn more about the free live Grow On Purpose Workshop: [Workshop link]

By the end of the Workshop, you will have a clear, written 90-day goal and one specific action to take within the next 48 hours. Your answers can remain private, and you will not be put on the spot to share.

You know you need to grow—but where should you start?

When every area of life feels like it could improve, it is easy to improve nothing.

After spending a week preparing for a Zoom workshop, Thomas opened the room—and nobody showed up. The disappointment was difficult, but his response revealed something more important: a place where his character needed to grow.

In this episode, Thomas gives Christian men a simple three-question Tension Test to compare the areas where they feel stuck and choose one honest place to begin.

THE TENSION TEST

1. Cost: What is staying the same costing me?
2. Calling: Would growth here help me become the man God is calling me to be?
3. Control: Is there something here I can practice now?

After testing each possible growth area, complete this sentence:

“My starting point is growing in __________, because staying the same is costing __________, and growth here would help me become a man who __________.”

IN THIS EPISODE

• Why drifting is not always laziness
• How temporary relief can become a pattern
• The difference between a desired outcome and a growth gap
• How cost, calling, and control reveal where to begin
• Why you do not need to fix every part of your life at once
• How your character prepares you to carry your calling

SCRIPTURE MENTIONED

Psalm 139

FREE GROW ON PURPOSE WORKSHOP

Knowing where to grow is the first step. The next challenge is turning that awareness into an intentional direction.

At the free live Grow On Purpose Workshop, you will create a clear, written 90-day goal focused on the man you believe God is calling you to become. You will also choose one specific action to take within the first 48 hours.

Thomas will guide you through the process using the Grow On Purpose Workbook. You can keep your answers private, and you will not be put on the spot to share.

Register for the free Grow On Purpose Workshop

What is the one quality you need to grow right now?

Discipline, courage, focus, consistency, faithfulness—or something else?

If this episode helped you find one honest place to begin, follow Pursuit of Calling and share it with one Christian man who may need it.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Hard Moments Reveal Growth

01:56 Drifting Shapes Your Character

05:13 Cost, Calling, and Control

08:45 Choose Your Starting Point

Some of the most important lessons a mentor teaches happen when he is not trying to teach anything. In this Pursuit Bite, Thomas shares how two mentors shaped more than his knowledge: Jim Fink modeled grace and helped him plan a major career decision, while Marc Serrao demonstrated that success should never make a leader too important to notice the person who needs help.

Key takeaways

• A mentor should not replace your responsibility to think, decide, and do the work.
• Character is a stronger qualification than impressive results alone.
• Proverbs 15:22 points toward many advisers, not one person who covers every area.
• Mentors can help you avoid preventable mistakes and months of repair.
• Start with coffee and thoughtful questions; do not force a ten-year commitment.
• Humility, curiosity, and willingness to listen make guidance useful.

Scripture mentioned

• Proverbs 15:22

People and resources mentioned

• Jim Fink
• Marc Serrao and Oakmont Bakery
• Free Grow on Purpose Workbook: https://grow.pursuitofcalling.com

Podcast chapters

00:00 The lessons mentors never say

00:44 Why every man needs a mentor

01:06 Jim Fink and faithful example

01:24 A lens of grace

01:58 Counsel for a life-changing decision

02:21 Marc Serrao: character in business

03:57 Proverbs 15:22 and many advisers

04:33 Borrow someone else's wisdom

05:07 Where do you need guidance?

06:07 The Grow on Purpose Workbook

06:29 Results matter; character matters more

07:01 Closing encouragement

God may be using the tension you want to escape to strengthen your faith, courage, and capacity. Thomas shares how comfort, chronic illness, accountability, and a major career transition taught him to take the next faithful step before he had the full map.

Are you in an uncomfortable, uncertain, or painful season—and wondering what God is doing through it?

In this episode of The Pursuit of Calling, Thomas Carney explores why the tension between where you are and where you could be may be an invitation to grow rather than evidence that God has abandoned you. He shares how a COVID furlough exposed the difference between rest and drift, how muscular dystonia stretched his faith and discipline, how a friend challenged his excuses, and how leaving software development to pursue coaching expanded his capacity.

Grounded in John Maxwell’s Law of the Rubber Band and biblical principles from Philippians 3, Romans 5, and Proverbs 27:17, this episode will help Christian men respond to discomfort with faith and take one practical step toward their God-given calling—even without a complete map.

IN THIS EPISODE

• How comfort quietly turns into drift

• Why God may use discomfort to stretch your vision, faith, courage, and capacity

• What suffering can produce without pretending it does not hurt

• Why people who challenge your excuses are essential to growth

• Three questions that reveal your next faithful step

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Where have I become so comfortable that I’ve started drifting?

2. What might God be developing in me through this season?

3. Who is stretching me—and am I willing to listen?

FREE RESOURCE

Download the Grow On Purpose Workbook: https://grow.pursuitofcalling.com

If this episode helped you see your current season differently, share it with another Christian man who may need the encouragement and leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Chapters

0:00 When Comfort Becomes Drift

0:37 Welcome to The Pursuit of Calling

1:02 How COVID Exposed My Drift

2:40 Why God Uses Stretching Seasons

3:43 Comfort Won’t Make You Come Alive

5:11 Question 1: Where Have You Started Drifting?

6:11 When Pain Stretches Your Faith

9:04 Question 2: What Is God Developing in You?

9:38 How God Uses People to Challenge You

11:22 Question 3: Who Is Stretching You?

12:03 Leaving My Job Stretched My Capacity

13:18 The Pattern Behind My Growth

13:42 Three Questions for Your Week

14:20 Choose Your Next Faithful Step

15:27 Don’t Waste the Stretching

Most people aren’t stuck because they lack opportunity—they’re stuck because of limiting beliefs, fear, and identity confusion they don’t even realize they’re carrying.

In this episode of The Pursuit of Calling, I sit down with licensed trauma therapist Michelle Croyle to talk about Christian mindset, emotional healing, and how internal beliefs shape your ability to step into your God-given calling.

We unpack how fear of failure, comparison, and past trauma patterns quietly keep Christian men and women stuck in cycles of self-doubt, procrastination, and settling for less than their potential.

This conversation is especially for you if you’re searching for things like:

• how to stop feeling stuck in life as a Christian man
• why am I afraid to pursue my calling
• how to overcome limiting beliefs and fear
• Christian mindset for purpose and direction
• how to find your God-given calling
• overcoming comparison and insecurity as a believer

We talk about:

• Why it’s actually “selfish” not to use your God-given gifts
• How fear and comfort quietly shape your decisions in life and career
• Why discomfort is often a sign of personal growth and spiritual development
• The hidden beliefs that keep you stuck in identity confusion and comparison traps
• How small, consistent steps lead to long-term purpose and calling clarity
• What it actually looks like to begin emotional healing and mindset renewal

If you’ve ever felt stuck, behind, unqualified, or unsure of your direction—this episode will challenge the way you see yourself and your calling.

🎧 Subscribe for weekly episodes on Christian personal growth, discipline, identity, and pursuing your God-given purpose.

📌 CHAPTERS

00:00 - It's Selfish Not to Use the Gift God Gave You | Welcome to The Pursuit of Calling

01:02 - Michelle Croyle Intro + EMDR Therapy Explained

03:21 - Why This Applies to Men Too

05:01 - Breaking Out of Limiting Identity

07:06 - Why People Settle for Less

09:00 - Living Below Your Potential

11:02 - Fear and Survival Wiring

13:00 - Catching the Lies You Believe

14:26 - Turning Weakness Into Strength

17:09 - The Measuring Stick Problem

19:01 - Opinion vs Wisdom

21:39 - Discomfort vs Danger

23:55 - 13 Years of Small Steps

26:46 - Tools for Self-Discovery

27:38 - Where to Find Michelle Croyle

Most men are focused on success on the outside—but struggle with who they are on the inside.

In this episode of The Pursuit of Calling, we explore John Maxwell’s Law of the Ladder and what it really means to grow into your calling through character development, humility, and inner transformation.

I also share personal stories from leadership in the local church and my journey through muscular dystonia—how losing physical strength forced me to rebuild identity from the inside out.

This is a conversation about becoming the kind of man who can carry the calling God has placed on his life.

📌 In This Episode

• Character vs appearance and why it matters
• How identity gets shaped in hidden seasons
• Leadership lessons from early church responsibility
• What muscular dystonia taught me about purpose
• Why humility unlocks growth
• The Law of the Ladder explained in real life

🧠 Episode Themes

Character development, Christian identity, purpose, calling, leadership growth, humility, inner transformation, faith and adversity, men’s spiritual growth, personal development, John Maxwell laws of growth

🔥 Listener Takeaway

God is not only concerned with where you are going—but who you are becoming on the way there.

Your character is being formed in the unseen places long before your calling is fully revealed.

Follow The Pursuit of Calling on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube for weekly episodes on identity, purpose, and growth.

If this episode encouraged you, share it with someone who is in a season of transition or searching for direction.

👉 Join the Pursuer Circle (group coaching for Christian men in transition): https://circle.pursuitofcalling.com

Are you feeling stuck, struggling to understand God's purpose, or wondering why you're walking through a painful season?

In this episode of The Pursuit of Calling, we explore how God uses suffering, adversity, and difficult seasons to shape your identity, reveal your calling, and develop spiritual growth.

Many Christian men feel stuck because they can't see what God is doing in the middle of their struggle. But pain has a way of exposing what needs to change, strengthening character, and preparing you for the purpose God has placed on your life.

I also share a personal story from my own journey—including chronic pain and a recent business setback that almost kept me from recording this episode.

If you're walking through uncertainty, frustration, disappointment, or a season that feels slow, this conversation will help you see your circumstances through a different lens.

In this episode:

• Why pain introduces you to yourself

• Why most people never grow from difficult seasons

• How suffering reveals identity shifts you didn't expect

• The difference between pain that destroys and pain that develops

• What John Maxwell teaches about growth through adversity

• How God uses struggle to shape calling and character

• My personal experience with chronic pain and business pressure

Key Truth:

Pain is not always punishment. Sometimes it is formation.

Reflection Questions:

• What is this season revealing about me?

• What pain am I currently trying to avoid?

• What might God be teaching me through this?

👉 Join the Pursuer Circle (group coaching for Christian men in transition): https://circle.pursuitofcalling.com

If this episode resonates with you, share it with another man who feels stuck right now.

Follow the podcast and leave a review if this episode helped you grow.