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  • #8 Leadership Triggers, Shame and Emotional Intelligence

    #8 Leadership Triggers, Shame and Emotional Intelligence
    2026/09/18
    • Why a “trigger” is really an old stress reminding itself in the present moment • How leaders unconsciously use their rank to self-soothe when triggered • The crucial difference between shame (“I am a mistake”) and guilt (“I made a mistake”) • A real coaching story: the CEO blindsided by his team's hidden shame • Introducing TRACE: Track, Regulate, Analyse, Choose, Engage • Simple grounding techniques — breathing and small movement — to regulate in the moment • Why naming your triggers to your team can build trust, not weakness Drs. Vinay and Paul explore triggers — those unexpected reminders of past stress that hijack our behaviour in the present — and how leaders unconsciously use their rank to self-soothe when triggered, from barking orders to withdrawing. They distinguish shame (“I am a mistake”) from guilt (“I made a mistake”), and share a real coaching story of a CEO blindsided by his team's shame around a failed project. They introduce TRACE — Track, Regulate, Analyse, Choose, Engage — a practical five-step method for interrupting trigger patterns, alongside simple grounding techniques like breathing and small movements.
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    32 分
  • #7 The Power Paradox | Why Leaders Lose the Skills That Made Them Successful

    #7 The Power Paradox | Why Leaders Lose the Skills That Made Them Successful
    2026/09/11
    • Dacher Keltner's research on the power paradox • Why gaining power instantly reduces your ability to read emotions • The chemistry of power: cortisol, stress, and behaviour change • A dramatic case study: dictatorship and downfall • Why anxiety spikes are an early warning sign for leaders • The business case for empathy — it's not just ethics, it's outcomes • How to outsmart the power paradox and build lasting personal power Drawing on Keltner's seminal research, Drs. Vinay and Paul explore the "power paradox": the more elevated someone becomes, the worse they get at reading others' emotions, the more self-oriented they become, and the less aware they are that any of this is happening. They walk through the striking research behind it (a simple priming experiment that instantly changes empathy scores), the physiological piece (cortisol, stress), and the very real stakes — from garden-variety bad bosses to a Dominican dictator's downfall. The prescription: leaders must live an examined life, watch for their own anxiety spikes, and actively seek feedback, because privilege is fragile and the fall is often just a matter of time
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    34 分
  • #6 Choose Honesty: Why Feedback Breaks Down Across the Power Gap

    #6 Choose Honesty: Why Feedback Breaks Down Across the Power Gap
    2026/09/04
    • Why feedback is never neutral once power is involved • The real risk of giving feedback upward — a story that cost a contract • Why leaders rarely ask for feedback, and what it costs them • Thomas Gordon's three-part “I-message” for feedback that lands • How shame shapes our resistance to receiving feedback • Emotional regulation: giving feedback from the “cool room,” not the “red room” • Why even equal relationships have hidden power dynamics Feedback is a familiar management topic, but Drs. Vinay and Paul argue it's rarely discussed through the lens of power — even though rank shapes every part of it. They dig into the danger of giving feedback upward (including a story where it cost Paul a contract), the near-universal reluctance of leaders to seek feedback downward, and Thomas Gordon's three-part "I-message" as a practical tool for delivering hard truths without triggering shame or defensiveness. They also explore how power shows up in unexpected places — marriages, therapy relationships, even a fired therapist who ate a date mid-session — and why emotional regulation ("the cool room," not the reactive one) is essential to delivering feedback well.
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    55 分
  • #5 What Your Sense of Self Really Teaches Us About Personal Power

    #5 What Your Sense of Self Really Teaches Us About Personal Power
    2026/08/28
    • Julie Diamond's Diamond Power framework and its three domains of personal power • Capable self: building confidence without over inflating it • Aware self: understanding what triggers your thoughts and reactions • Purposeful self: finding resilience through a bigger sense of meaning • Viktor Frankl's insights on meaning under extreme adversity • Simple NLP techniques for shifting your emotional state • Why introverts can hold just as much personal power as extroverts Building on the "power battery" idea, Drs. Vinay and Paul unpack Julie Diamond's three-part model of personal power: capable self (confidence you can make an impact), aware self (understanding what triggers your thoughts and feelings, and directing your focus), and purposeful self (a sense of larger meaning that lets you recover from setbacks). Drawing on Viktor Frankl, NLP state-change techniques, and their own coaching practices, they make the case that personal power isn't about bravado — it's a quiet, buildable foundation that makes people less likely to misuse the power they're given elsewhere.
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    38 分
  • #4 The Real Sources of Power Hiding Inside Every Organization

    #4 The Real Sources of Power Hiding Inside Every Organization
    2026/08/21
    • Key sources of power: role, resource, information, network, reputation • Why underusing your role power creates a dangerous vacuum • Resource power: budgets, access, and the choices we forget we have • Information power and the psychology of gossip • Network power and the story of a 25,000-person walkout • Reputation power and the rise of cancel culture Drs. Vinay and Paul map five organisational sources of power: role power (the built-in authority of a position, and the real danger of under-using it), resource power (budgets, access, and the things we control but forget we can withhold), information power, network/collective power, and reputation power. Through case studies of overwhelmed managers, permissive parents, and a real-world employee walkout, they argue that power isn't just misused by being heavy-handed — leaving a power vacuum by refusing to use legitimate authority causes just as much damage.
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    55 分
  • #3 The 150% Principle: Why Leaders Must Carry More Than Half the Responsibility

    #3 The 150% Principle: Why Leaders Must Carry More Than Half the Responsibility
    2026/08/14
    • What ‘taking responsibility’ really means for anyone with more rank • Why leaders are the worst judges of their own impact • The difference between intent and impact — and why it matters • Real coaching examples: the pausing leader and the “ideas person” CEO • AGALA: a five-step framework for repairing ruptures • Why ‘two consenting adults’ ignores real power gaps • How this principle applies beyond the workplace, including parenting Dr. Vinay and Dr. Paul unpack the ‘150% Principle’: in any relationship with a power differential — boss/employee, teacher/student, parent/child — the person with more rank doesn't just share equal responsibility for the relationship, they carry more of it. Drawing on coaching case studies (a leader whose ponderous pauses bred anxious speculation, a CEO whose brainstorming was mistaken for orders), they explore why those in power are structurally the worst judges of their own impact, and why asking for feedback — not just accepting it — is a discipline of leadership, not an optional nicety. They introduce AGALA, a five-step framework for repairing ruptures (Acknowledge, name the Gap between intent and impact, Apologise, share the Learning, Ask what's missing), and close by extending the principle beyond the boardroom — to parenting, and to why "two consenting adults" is a myth when a real power gap exists between them.
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    35 分
  • #2 The Power Battery: Where Does Personal Power Come From?

    #2 The Power Battery: Where Does Personal Power Come From?
    2026/08/07
    • The five internal sources of personal power: knowledge, expressiveness, history, attraction, character • Why knowledge is more democratised than ever — podcasts, free courses, and AI • How expressiveness helps you find your voice, and other people's • The double-edged power of relationship history • Building rapport and attraction even without natural charisma • Why character and consistency earn long-term trust • A real story of blended-family cooperation in action Dr. Vinay and Dr. Paul explore where personal power actually comes from — not the power handed to you by a title, but the power you build from within. Using the metaphor of a ‘power battery’, they break down five internal sources: knowledge (increasingly democratised by podcasts, free courses, and AI), expressiveness (the ability to give voice to what others can't yet articulate), history (the accumulated weight of long relationships, for better or worse), attraction (the rapport that draws people toward you, whether natural or built), and character (the consistency and honesty that earns trust over time). Drawing on stories from coaching, therapy, and their own personal lives — including a moving example of blended-family cooperation — they make the case that most of us outsource our sense of power to circumstance, when in fact the biggest lever is the one we can charge up ourselves.
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    38 分
  • #1 Introduction to all Things Power: Why We Avoid Talking About Power | The Psychology of Leadership and Influence

    #1 Introduction to all Things Power: Why We Avoid Talking About Power | The Psychology of Leadership and Influence
    2026/07/31
    • Why power is often called “the last taboo” • Power over, power with, and power to — three core dynamics explained • Personal power vs. role power vs. social status power • A first look at the power paradox and why leaders get stranger as they rise • Introducing the 150% principle for high-rank relationships • Real-world examples from couples therapy and a corporate power struggle • The mission behind The Power Compass podcast In the opening episode of the Power Compass podcast, Drs. Vinay and Paul explain why they're devoting a whole series to power — a topic they argue is harder to talk about than sex, precisely because most of us first experience it as something used against us. They introduce the foundational distinctions the series will return to again and again: power over, power with, and power to; personal power versus role power versus social status power; and give a first preview of two ideas explored later in depth, the power paradox (how gaining rank quietly erodes empathy and self-awareness) and the 150% principle (why those with more rank carry disproportionate responsibility for a relationship's health). Using examples from couples therapy, a corporate team caught between formal and informal authority, and their own coaching work, they lay out their mission: to make the normally invisible dynamics of power visible, so people can wield it — over others, with others, and toward a purpose — more consciously and skilfully.
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    30 分