Today, I'd like to share a recent experience that led me down a bit of a rabbit hole. I was in a mobility class at the gym, and as I rolled a tiny yoga therapy ball under my foot, I had this overwhelming thought: "I wish I had known about this sooner!"

This really hit home because years ago, before COVID, I injured my foot after a run without much training. And it's been bothering me ever since. After a recent trip that had me on my feet much of the time, my foot was really sore.

But then, regret started to creep in. I wish I had used these yoga balls for my feet ages ago.

My thoughts drifted to my kids, who are athletes, and how they could have benefited. And then, thought back to COVID and how I wished we had been more active as a family back then.

It's incredible how easily we can fall into this pattern of looking back and thinking, "I wish I had been doing this for a long time." I even found myself thinking about my eating habits and wishing I had known more about balancing blood sugar when I was younger.

But here's the thing — while this line of thinking might be true, we often wish we had known things sooner; is it actually helpful?

For me, wishing I had done things differently didn't make me feel motivated or optimistic. It actually made me feel defeated and as though I had wasted my time.

It's an adaptive process, but with our negativity bias, we often use it against ourselves.

So, how can we use the past in a positive way?

We learn! Now I know what happens when I don't take care of my feet, or when I don't take my iron supplements. We can enjoy this process of learning and growing.

Here's what you'll hear about today:

• Regret is a natural human tendency, but not always helpful. Discover how to turn it into motivation.

• Our brains attempt to solve problems by replaying the past. This is an adaptive process, but our negativity bias can lead us to use it against ourselves.

• How to shift from regret to learning and growth, and use past experiences as lessons to inform future actions.

• Why self-compassion is important to move past the negativity in regrets.

• Ways we can extract all the possible lessons from our life experiences so we can do things differently.

• The 1% secret to implementing change through small, consistent habits.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction and Personal Story

01:36 Reflecting on Missed Opportunities

03:40 The Impact of Regret

05:07 Shifting to a Positive & Motivational Mindset

08:05 Practical Tips for Self-Compassion and Growth

12:07 Building New Habits

17:47 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Quick Links:

• Self-Compassion.org

• Atomic Habits by James Clear

Connect with me:

• Sign up for the next Dare To Lead Workshop

• Schedule a free 20-minute consultation

• Connect on LinkedIn

• Connect on Facebook

• Connect on Instagram

• "Do I deserve this?"
• "I don't know if I deserve this?"

These brought me to the question: "Do men wonder if they deserve their success?"

Women, it's not your fault.

After speaking with hundreds of women over the past week, I found that this question came up repeatedly.

Here's what feeling undeserving looks like:

• Not asking for higher compensation for work

• Giving more, potentially to the point of overwork and burnout

• Not applying for the promotion

• Working more to compensate for the thoughts that we're undeserving

The thing is, this all leads us to feel overworked, overwhelmed, and burned out.

When these thoughts come up, notice what you feel in your body.

• Where do you feel it?

• Is it a tightness in your chest?

• Do your shoulders creep up towards your ears?

Next, identify the emotion coming up.

Look, when we achieve more than we ever dreamed, our self-concept—our sense of who we believe ourselves to be and what we deserve—needs to evolve.

And often, we lack a frame of reference for this new level of achievement.

I'm exploring this question of deservingness today. Here's what you'll discover:

• Many women, especially leaders, struggle with the feeling that they don't deserve their successes.

• How feelings of unworthiness often lead to self-sabotage—such as not asking for a raise, working long hours, or avoiding career advancement.

• Societal conditioning and traditional gender roles contribute to women's difficulty in defining their worth, especially in professional settings.

• To overcome these feelings of deservedness, it's crucial to redefine our self-concept and imagine who we want to be.

• How to develop grounded confidence by knowing your worth without hustling for it.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to the Overwhelm Care Podcast

00:20 Women Asking, “Do I Deserve This?”

01:30 Gender Differences in Self-Worth

02:39 The Impact of Self-Sabotage

03:56 Identifying and Understanding Self-Worth

07:29 Redefining Self-Concept for Women

12:39 Imagining Your Future Self

16:05 Embracing Success and Self-Worth

21:56 Wrap Up and Contact Information

Connect with me:

• Sign up for the next Dare To Lead Workshop

• Schedule a free 20-minute consultation

• Connect on LinkedIn

• Connect on Facebook

• Connect on Instagram

I'm heading out on a week-long journey, training leaders across the province in resilience and Dare to Lead skills.

While I love my work, this trip also means I'll be missing my daughter's first national competition of the season, and a wave of mom-guilt is washing over me.

While my family is my top priority, my work schedule is planned months in advance, and sometimes my kids' schedules are a bit last-minute.

My husband is taking her instead, and I know they'll do great, but the guilt and fear of missing out (FOMO) are still there under the surface.

This situation reminds me of how often we, as parents, feel guilty when we take a break from our responsibilities.

Sure, I could have rescheduled or canceled one of my commitments to be there, but sometimes it's good for our kids to have time to bond and learn to navigate things without me.

Today's episode is the permission you may have needed to take the trip, put your learning first, and trust that your kids are well-taken care of.

Takeaways from this episode:

• Mom-Guilt and FOMO are common: It's normal to feel guilty or experience fear of missing out when taking a break from responsibilities, especially as parents and leaders.

• Prioritizing ourselves is essential; investing in our mental health and wellness by taking breaks is important for our overall well-being and the health of our personal and professional relationships.

• Challenging the "do it all" mindset: We often believe we’re the glue holding everything together, leading to over-responsibility and neglecting our own needs.

• Kids benefit from rested parents: Coming back from a work trip or a kid-free vacation feeling rested and recharged can make you a happier and more effective parent, ultimately benefiting your children.

• Diverse support networks for our kids: When our kids spend time with other trusted adults, it helps them develop their social networks, shows them the extent of their support, and offers fresh perspectives.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 Introduction and A Personal Story

• 00:58 Guilt & FOMO from Taking Breaks

• 03:21 The Importance of Independent Time

• 04:42 Investing in Your Well-Being

• 06:36 The Myth of Parental Sacrifice

• 11:32 The Benefits of Time with Trusted Adults

• 12:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Connect with me:

• Sign up for the next Dare To Lead Workshop

• Schedule a free 20-minute consultation

• Connect on LinkedIn

• Connect on Facebook

• Connect on Instagram

Related Episodes:

• 16. Prioritizing What Matters and Putting Yourself First

• 17. How to Break Free from Mom Guilt

• 24: The Heart of Self-Care: Beyond the Bubble Bath