Today I'm sharing an update about the breakup of my polyamorous triad with Scott and Jess, reflecting on the challenges of differing relationship needs. I discuss the evolution of my relationships, the importance of self-fulfillment, and lessons I’ve learned about communication, boundaries, and embracing change. I encourage you to cultivate a full life outside of partnerships and offer insights into navigating love, loss, and growth within open relationships. I also hint at some upcoming life events and future podcast topics.

Timestamps by PodSqueezeIntroduction and Setting the Stage (00:00:03)

Jen introduces the podcast, mentions the recent breakup, and sets up the episode’s focus.

Reflecting on the Triad Vacation (00:01:24)

Jen recalls their first vacation as a triad and the joy of having a third partner.

Scott’s Desire for Openness (00:02:33)

Scott expresses his need for a more open relationship, leading to conflict with Jess.

Jess’s Need for Stability and the Breakup (00:03:47)

Jess asserts her need for monogamy and stability, resulting in the end of the triad.

Being the Person in the Middle (00:05:44)

Jen discusses the pain and challenges of being caught between two partners with conflicting needs.

How Relationship Dynamics Change (00:07:01)

Jen reflects on how needs and dynamics shift over time, using her marriages as examples.

Personal Growth Through Relationships (00:08:14)

Jen shares her journey of self-discovery and growth during her second marriage.

Sexual Awakening and Changing Needs (00:09:05)

Jen describes her late-30s sexual awakening and the resulting end of her second marriage.

Accelerated Change in Open Relationships (00:10:09)

Jen explains how open relationships can accelerate personal and relational growth.

Shifting Dynamics with Scott and Steph (00:11:16)

Jen recounts how relationship dynamics with Scott and Steph evolved, including role reversals.

Tossing Out Relationship Rules (00:12:23)

Jen discusses moving away from rigid rules and embracing fluidity in open relationships.

Evolving Relationship with Steph (00:13:45)

Jen details how her relationship with Steph changed after Scott left the triad.

Intentional Time and Changing Expectations (00:15:45)

Jen describes efforts to schedule intentional time with Steph and how expectations shifted.

Letting Go of Guilt and Societal Roles (00:19:10)

Jen learns to release guilt and societal expectations, focusing on authentic connection.

Self-Fulfillment Outside of Partners (00:20:20)

Jen emphasizes the importance of self-fulfillment and not relying solely on partners for happiness.

Making Room for New Connections (00:22:37)

Jen discusses being open to new partners and connections as life and needs change.

Lessons from the Breakup with Jess (00:23:34)

Jen reflects on the pain of losing Jess and the importance of letting people come and go.

Unattached Love and Relationship Choice (00:25:49)

Jen shares insights about unattached love and choosing relationships without rigid requirements.

Outro and Upcoming Life Events (00:26:44)

Jen wraps up, mentions upcoming travel, moving, and thanks listeners for their support.

Podcast Closing and Listener Engagement (00:28:36)

Closing remarks, encouraging feedback, topic suggestions, and sharing the podcast.

Follow The Open Bedroom Podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

Ever wondered how couples navigate long-term commitment while exploring other connections? This candid discussion explores one couple's journey into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) after 20 years of marriage. From initial hesitations to embracing polyamorous connections, they share their story of redefining relationships and challenging norms. Learn about the realities of an open relationship and the courage it takes to rewrite your own rules.

Missi and Brian’s Origin Story (00:01:44) Missi shares how she and Brian began discussing adding a third, their early thoughts, and discovering polyamory.

Lisa’s Background and Entry (00:05:13) Lisa describes her background, previous marriage, initial interest in threesomes, and how she met Missi and Brian.

Navigating International Long-Distance (00:11:22) The triad discusses managing a cross-border relationship, travel logistics, and cultural differences between Canada and the US.

Political and Social Challenges (00:15:09) Lisa shares anxieties about political climates, social judgment, and how love overcomes external pressures.

From Casual to Committed (00:16:39) Lisa and Missi discuss how the relationship evolved from casual fun to a committed, equal triad.

Disentangling Marriage for Equality (00:29:31) Missi and Lisa explain how and Brian shifted from a married couple with a girlfriend to a more equal triad.

Navigating New Relationship Energy (00:32:26) They discuss the challenges of balancing new relationship energy, dyad connections, and letting relationships develop naturally.

Staying Connected Long-Distance (00:42:00) The triad shares how they maintain connection across distance, use technology, and structure dyad time.

Advice for Aspiring Triads (00:52:28) Final advice for listeners interested in triads: patience, communication, boundaries, and seeking peace over butterflies.

Follow Brian, Lisa and Missi:

https://www.instagram.com/loveyoutwo2022/

Follow The Open Bedroom:

https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

Psychotherapist Jason Shires shares how childhood trauma shapes adult relationships. Jason explains how internal defense mechanisms formed in childhood impact our partner choices and relationship patterns. We discuss therapeutic approaches like Internal Family Systems and somatic experiencing, the dynamics of masculine and feminine energies, and the role of addiction as escapism. We also explore how you can heal anxiety inside of relationships, offering practical insights for navigating emotional triggers with compassion. Jason shares personal insights and resources for healing, emphasizing self-acceptance, vulnerability, and the ongoing journey toward deeper connection and intimacy. This episode offers compassionate guidance for understanding and transforming relational wounds.

Episode Topic Overview (00:01:13)

Announcement of the episode’s focus: trauma’s impact on adult relationships.

Childhood Wounds and Partner Selection (00:03:13)

How childhood wounds influence partner choice and relationship experiences.

Personal Story of Childhood Trauma (00:05:13)

Jason shares his own childhood trauma and its effect on his adult relationships.

Internal Defense Mechanisms (00:08:37)

Jason explains internal defense mechanisms as intelligent responses to childhood adversity.

Parts Work and Somatic Approaches (00:12:10)

Discussion of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and somatic experiencing in healing trauma.

Impact of Trauma Work on Relationships (00:15:05)

How trauma work can transform relationships and deepen connection.

Navigating New, Healthy Relationships (00:18:06)

The challenges and risks of embracing love after trauma.

Welcoming Insecurity in Relationships (00:22:18)

Welcoming and addressing insecurity to increase intimacy and trust.

Summary and Healing Journey (00:37:14)

Recap of the journey from trauma to healing and healthy relationships.

Follow Jason:

https://www.instagram.com/infiniterecoveryproject/

Follow The Open Bedroom Podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

This interview surprised me. I tried to enter it with an open heart, and didn't too too much pre-research that might sway my questions or energy toward Paul.I was honestly blown away by Paul's authenticity, the data behind why people cheat, how we can be better partners to avoid cheating, and how Ashley Madison provides a discreet platform so you're not boinking your fellow office workers and ruining your family's life.In this episode of The Open Bedroom Podcast, I talk with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, about the realities of sex, dating, and non-monogamy. Paul shares research on why people seek affairs, the impact of unmet needs in relationships, and the misconceptions around open relationships. Our conversation explores communication challenges, the evolving definition of marriage, and how platforms like Ashley Madison provide discreet ways for people to connect. Paul and I discuss the importance of honesty, consent, and creating relationship agreements that work for each unique couple.Why People Cheat: Research Insights (00:02:21)Paul discusses academic research on why men and women seek affairs, focusing on unmet sexual and emotional needs.Gender Differences in Validation & Desire (00:06:01)How men and women seek validation and desire, and the emotional needs driving infidelity.Personal Experience & Using Ashley Madison (00:08:06)Jen shares her open relationship journey and her research experience joining Ashley Madison.Why Men Send Unsolicited Photos (00:12:20)Paul explains men’s motivations for sending explicit photos and offers advice on respectful communication.Safety, Trust, and Communication in Dating (00:13:29)Importance of trust and safety for women, and how men can better approach online dating.How to Write a Good Dating Profile (00:14:43)Paul gives advice on creating effective, respectful dating profiles, especially on Ashley Madison.Regulation, Pornography, and Privacy Concerns (00:23:46)Jen discusses state-level porn restrictions and concerns about privacy and government regulation.Understanding & Combating Adultery (00:24:41)Paul emphasizes the need to understand infidelity rather than just prohibit it.Affairs as a Way to Save Marriages (00:25:27)Research on how affairs can improve primary relationships and relieve sexual frustration.Sexual Communication & Advice for Couples (00:29:18)Paul gives advice on sexual communication, feedback, and the importance of openness and trying new things.Ashley Madison’s Marketing & Gender Perspectives (00:31:33)Discussion on how Ashley Madison’s marketing resonates differently with men and women.Dead Bedrooms & Rights to Pleasure (00:35:55)Exploring what happens when one partner loses interest in sex and the ethics of seeking pleasure elsewhere.Modern Relationships & Open Arrangements (00:36:25)How open relationships can address unmet needs and misconceptions about non-monogamy.Redefining Marriage & Relationship Norms (00:41:37)Jen and Paul discuss rewriting marriage norms, the rise of non-monogamy, and the need for personalized relationship agreements.History and Evolution of Marriage (00:42:01)Paul explains the origins of marriage, societal expectations, and evolving attitudes toward sex and partnership.COVID-19’s Impact on Relationships (00:45:52)How the pandemic intensified relationship issues and increased Ashley Madison’s user base.Personalizing Marriage & Relationship Agreements (00:46:36)Advocating for individualized marriage agreements and ongoing communication between partners.Five-Year Monogamy Contracts & Final Thoughts (00:48:04)Advice on periodic relationship check-ins and the future of Ashley Madison as a platform for discretion and diverse needs.**Ashley Madison**:https://www.ashleymadison.com/**Follow The Open Bedroom Podcast**:https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

Today I'm giving you a life update - our engagement and upcoming wedding, hormones and my health, pilates, and how to vacation as a throuple!

Timestamps:

(3:39) Life Updates

(20:43) Intro to Jess, our Third

(24:37) Balcony Suite is the way to go with 3 people

(30:33) Why it's so great vacation with 3 partners vs. 3

(36:29) Key takeaways

Follow The Open Bedroom: / theopenbedroompodcast

Opening Up Guide: https://bit.ly/OpeningUpGuide

In this episode of The Open Bedroom Podcast, I interview Rob Kancler, an expert in men’s sexual health and intimacy. We discuss the widespread crisis of physical intimacy, the impact of cultural conditioning, and the lack of honest conversations about sex—especially among men. Rob shares insights from his "Men of Substance" program, emphasizing the importance of body intelligence, nervous system regulation, and authentic connection. Together, we explore practical tools for cultivating deeper intimacy and announce upcoming programs for both men and women to foster healthier, more fulfilling sexual relationships.**Witnessing a 45-Minute Orgasm (00:00:04)** Rob describes witnessing a man induce a prolonged orgasm, sparking his curiosity about sexual potential.**The Crisis of Sexual Intimacy & Male Communication (00:01:51)** Rob discusses men’s lack of honest conversations about sex, cultural taboos, and the impact of sexual “lineages.”**Sexual Operating Systems & Widespread Dysfunction (00:07:08)** Rob explains the concept of a “sexual operating system” and common issues like mismatched libido and sexual dysfunction.

**Unfulfilled Sex Lives & Societal Statistics (00:11:45)** Rob highlights how few people experience fulfilling sex lives, referencing statistics on sexual dissatisfaction.

**Men’s Sexual Satisfaction & Awakening (00:16:20)** Discussion about when men realize their sexual approach is lacking and the importance of listening to partners.

**Beyond Routine Sex: Emergent Experience (00:20:05)** Rob describes the value of letting go of expectations and choreography to access deeper intimacy and pleasure.

**Sexual “Magic” and Forgetting What You Know (00:26:21)** Rob explains that advanced sexual experiences aren’t magic, but require unlearning cultural scripts.

**Horniness, Consciousness, and Spiritual Sex (00:33:28)** Rob introduces the idea of a bridge between horniness and consciousness leading to spiritual sexual experiences.

**Addiction, Arousal, and Embodied Safety (00:38:42)** Rob discusses how addiction to peak orgasms and dysregulation block deeper sexual experiences.

Follow Rob:

https://www.instagram.com/robkancler/

Free Bedroom Compass Assessment at BedroomCompass.com to see where you stand with the building blocks of a phenomenal sex life. It makes the teachings way more concrete and actionable.

Join one of Rob’s upcoming masterclasses this fall and winter to get a taste of the work in real time, and move towards opening doors to better, more connected and pleasurable experiences immediately. Check out robkancler.com/masterclass

Or, if you’re ready to dive in, the flagship Men of Substance Blueprint program starts in late October---next round in early 2026. That's robkancler.com/blueprint

Follow The Open Bedroom podcast: https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast