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The Exploding Whale: Twenty Cases, Unemployed Seagulls, and a Door That Does Not Rain

Episode 25 of The Office 360 Unfiltered. Long walk. Unique true story.

November 9, 1970, a forty-five-foot, eight-ton sperm whale beaches near Florence, Oregon. The sand belongs to the Highway Division. Assistant engineer George Thornton is in charge because his supervisor went hunting. After talking to the Navy, they treat the carcass as a boulder: half a ton of dynamite, twenty cases, seagulls to finish lunch. A veteran on the beach says twenty sticks, not twenty cases. They do not take the note.

November 12, 3:45 p.m. KATU’s Paul Linnman and Doug Brazil are there. The sand column goes a hundred feet. Blubber flies eight hundred feet. Spectators run. A sedan a quarter mile off is crushed. Linnman: the blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds. Nobody dies. Most of the whale is still there and has to be buried anyway. Policy now is bury it. Dynamite is off the menu.

A whale is not a boulder. Ads are not seagulls. Four people, Lisbon to New York, build a door that holds. Three clicks. A buy button that buys.

Spell it: the, dash, office, three sixty, dot com. That’s T-H-E, hyphen, office, three sixty, dot com. the-office360.com. Code STUDIO50 — 50% off studio tiers.

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The London Beer Flood: One Hoop, a Twenty-Two-Foot Vat, and a Door That Holds

Episode 24 of The Office 360 Unfiltered. Long walk. Unique true story.

Monday, 17 October 1814, between five and six. St. Giles, London. Henry Meux and Company’s Horse Shoe Brewery. A wooden vat twenty-two feet high, 3,555 barrels of ten-month porter, full to four inches of the top. Storehouse clerk George Crick sees one iron hoop fall off. He is not alarmed. He has seen that before. Then the vat goes. A twenty-five-foot wall, two and a half bricks thick, goes with it. Neighboring casks join the wave. Porter runs into the rookery, into New Street, into the Tavistock Arms. Eight people die, mostly in basements. Neighbors come out with pots. The coroner’s jury calls it a visitation of God.

The joke is the hoop, not the funerals. Huge is not finished. Usual is how lakes get into kitchens.

Four people, Lisbon to New York, put hoops that stay on. Three clicks. A buy button that buys.

Spell it: the, dash, office, three sixty, dot com. That’s T-H-E, hyphen, office, three sixty, dot com. the-office360.com. Code STUDIO50 — 50% off studio tiers.

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Episode keywords

The Office 360 Unfiltered, Episode 24, London Beer Flood 1814, Horse Shoe Brewery, Henry Meux, George Crick, St Giles porter wave, author website, the-office360.com, STUDIO50, Story Time, Shout Out, Advertise, Donate, theofficetechies@gmail.com

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The Pepsi Navy: Seventeen Submarines, Shoe-Wax Fizz, and a Coin That Converts

Episode 23 of The Office 360 Unfiltered. Long walk. Unique true story.

1959, Moscow, Kitchen Debate. Donald Kendall gets Khrushchev to drink Pepsi on camera. One cup New York water, one cup Moscow water. The Premier calls the Soviet mix very refreshing. His son said it smelled like shoe wax. The photo goes around the world. 1972: Pepsi is first major American soda into the USSR. Exclusive. Coke locked out. The ruble will not convert, so the tab is vodka — Stolichnaya out, syrup in — for years.

Spring 1989: vodka is not enough. Moscow pays in decommissioned steel. Seventeen attack submarines, a cruiser, a frigate, a destroyer. Pepsi is the middleman. Norway takes the hulls for scrap. For a paperwork minute a cola brand sits on the navy list. Kendall to National Security Advisor Brent Scowcroft: we are disarming the Soviet Union faster than you are. Then the boats are washing machines. The fleet was an IOU with a periscope.

Followers that will not buy are vodka. A clip is a submarine on a spreadsheet. Four people, Lisbon to New York, build a door that takes a coin you can spend. Three clicks. A buy button that buys.

Spell it: the, dash, office, three sixty, dot com. That’s T-H-E, hyphen, office, three sixty, dot com. the-office360.com. Code STUDIO50 — 50% off studio tiers.

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DoorSubjectInboxOn-air storyStory Timetheofficetechies@gmail.comEvent shout-outShout Outtheofficetechies@gmail.comHouse adAdvertisetheofficetechies@gmail.comChip inDonatetheofficetechies@gmail.com

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